The Blog of P.U.R.E. and Sue Scheff

River View in Utah - Think Before You Accept

2012-05-29T06:06:00.001-07:00

Utah River View in La Verkin

River View

River View Academy

Not exactly sure? Neither was a parent when she called me after surfing the Internet and coming across a marking arm that attempted to tell her that her son was a perfect fit for this program.

As a parent advocate for over a decade, I have certainly heard and visited many schools and programs in our country and this one really confused me. Why? Well - La Verkin, Utah is very small and the home of Cross Creek which is part of the organization that harmed my own daughter years ago and defrauded me.

They are also part of many allegations of abuse, fraud and currently involved in yet another lawsuit.

Are you looking for residential therapy for your at-risk teen? I commend you for being proactive - don't give up your search. There are actually more good programs than there are not so good. However it is imperative you do your research and dig deep.

Know the questions to ask. Know the warning signs and red flags.

Being an educated parent helps you to make an educated decision. Isn't your teen worth these extra steps? This is a major emotional and financial decision! Take your time and do your research. You won't regret it.

Teens Smoking Cigarettes

2012-05-22T13:30:00.001-07:00

Teens smoking cigarettes is not want parents like, however unfortunately with peer pressure, sometimes our kids feel the need to fit in.

Most know that smoking is bad for you, yet as with kids, they don't worry about the consequences.

Kids can get pretty creative when it comes to hiding their bad habits from parents and most parents assume that their child would never do anything like take drugs, drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes. In all cases there are certain signs to watch for that let you know if your child is indulging in any of these risky behaviors, no matter how crafty they may be at trying to hide them.

Here are some signs to watch for if you think your child may be smoking.

More use of breath mints or chewing gum – Has your child suddenly felt it necessary to always chew gum or have breath mints? If so, there is a chance that they might be trying to cover up the bad breath that smoking causes.
The dirty ashtray smell – Chances are if you confront your child about smelling like a dirty ash tray, their first response will be to blame it on the friends they hang around. This may or may not be true. If their clothes and possessions constantly and regularly smell like smoke, then there is a pretty good chance they are smoking.
Yellowing teeth – Smoking causes the teeth to yellow from all of the chemicals they’re exposed to, so if your child’s teeth are beginning to turn a shade of yellow then you may have a problem on your hands.
Shortness of breath – Smoking does affect the lungs and decreases lung capacity, so if your child is beginning to get easily winded it may be time to sit down and have a talk with them.
Bad breath – If your child has really bad breath that reeks of smoke, it’s definitely time for you to have a heart to heart conversation about smoking and all of its negative side effects.
Poor performance in athletics – If you see your once active child suddenly begin to decline in athletic performance this could be a sign that tobacco use is to be blamed.
Yellowed fingers – Nicotine from cigarettes can cause yellowish staining of the fingers that commonly hold the cigarettes. If you’ve already had a suspicion you’ll want to watch for those telltale stains.
Unexplained coughing – Children can cough due to colds and allergies but if your child is coughing and there is not a cause of which you are aware, you may want to ask some questions.
Their space becomes off limits for you – As kids get older they want their privacy and their space becomes sacred to them. This is natural, but only within reason. If their room becomes completely off limits to you, look into the reason why. Does the room smell like smoke? Are they constantly burning incense?
Overuse of perfume or cologne – Attempting to hide the smell of smoke on their clothes by using extra perfume or cologne is another possible sign that your child could be using cigarettes.

While none of these signs alone are necessarily cause for concern two or more together may warrant a closer look. If you find that you do need to talk to your child, do your best to stay calm and keep the lines of communication open.

Now is not the time to lecture or sermonize. Find out what the appeal to smoking is and remind your child about the costs both financially and to their health. Having an open and honest conversation will show your child that you are genuinely concerned about their well-being and hopefully will cause them to rethink developing this unhealthy habit.

Source: Summer Nanny

Tobacco Free Florida Quitline is a tremendous resource and hotline for both parents and teens to help you and your child kick this habit.

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Teen Drug Use: Do You Suspect Your Teen is Using Drugs?

2012-05-18T07:58:00.000-07:00

Parenting teens in today's society is not an easy task. Communication with your teenager is key to their success on many levels, however as a mother that raised two teenager, I know it is easier said than done. Drug and alcohol use among teens is an issue parents need to be aware of. There are many good kids making some very bad choices.

A common misconception parents make is thinking that a teen that is only smoking marijuana is a phase. Marijuana and the substitutes for it, such as spice, are more risky and dangerous than years/generations prior. They can be laced with higher levels of PCP than can literally alter the mind of your teen as well as cause brain damage.

Drug use (substance abuse) is a serious cry for help, and making your teen feel ashamed or embarrassed can make the problem worse. Some common behavior changes you may notice if your teenager is abusing drugs and alcohol are:

Violent outbursts, rage, disrespectful behavior
Poor or dropping grades
Unexplained weight loss or gain
Skin abrasions, track marks
Missing curfew, running away, truancy
Bloodshot eyes, distinct "skunky" odor on clothing and skin
Missing jewelry, money
New friends
Depression, apathy, withdrawal, disengaged from the family
Reckless behavior

Do you have a teen that you suspect is using drugs? Is therapy not working? Have you exhausted all your local resources? Take the time to learn about residential therapy, visit www.HelpYourTeens.com.

Each teen and family are unique, there are many teen help programs, knowing how to locate the one best for you can be a challenge, however Parents' Universal Resource Experts can help, starting with a free consultation.

Please remember, it is not your marijuana from your college or teens days.

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Teen Help Programs and The Internet Search

2012-05-08T06:51:00.000-07:00

You have finally reached your wit's end with your teenager.

You have exhausted all your local resources, your nerves are fried, you have removed all their privileges and nothing is making a difference - you are literally a hostage to your own child!

What now?

It is time for outside help... but you get online and realize first the sticker shock.... (price of programs and schools) then you see all these horror stories - EXACTLY WHO SHOULD YOU BELIEVE?

Your gut!

Years ago I was in your exact spot - and I didn't listen my gut, and the results were not good, however it had a purpose. The reason was to be a part of helping parents not make the mistakes I did.

When you get online you will see many toll free numbers going to places unknown. Usually sales reps that will more than happily give you a list of programs that they believe will be perfect for your child - but how do they know?

Point is - you don't want a sales rep - you don't want a marketing arm, you want an owner, a director or someone that will be vested in your child's recovery and healing process. Someone that will be held accountable - their reputation will be reflected upon your child's success.

I created an organization that helps educate parents to better understand the big business of residential therapy. There are questions parents need to ask, that many don't think about while they are desperate for help such as when will they be able to speak with their child or visit their child.

I encourage you to visit www.helpyourteens.com and find out more about residential therapy - especially if you are considering the next step. Don't wait for a crisis to happen. Be prepared.

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Rebellious Teen: The Defiant Attitude

2012-04-27T05:54:00.000-07:00

How many time do I hear from parents how their teen has become someone they barely recognize? Their attitude. Their defiance. Their blatant disrespect. Clearly they are rebellious and how are we supposed to handle this?

Some great tips are here!

How to Handle Teenage Rebellion

Many parents with teenagers are well aware that raising a teen presents a challenge. A teen’s attitude can fluctuate from being kind and well-behaved to rude and rebellious in a matter of seconds. Many want to know how to handle teenage rebellion, but several are unaware of where to start.

Continue reading to learn how to handle your teenager’s rebellious stage and start establishing the role you’d like in their life.

1. Listen
One thing that many parents have difficulty with is listening to their teen. It’s crucial for both parent and teen to talk and share feelings with one another. In order to communicate effectively,be aware of where your child is coming from and what his/her mindset is. Listening cannot only help our relationship, but also help identify issues that need to be addressed.
2. Enforce Rules & Values
When teens are going through their rebellious period, they break rules. This behavior can be improved by consistently letting your child know what is expected of them. Eventually, behavior will improve. Aside from enforcing rules, discussing values can also aid in improving behavior. Values are a huge part of life and making your teen aware of them can help them through their rebellion and throughout their entire life.
3. Allow Some Distance
Every teen is going to be in a bad mood every now and then. When this occurs, parents need to give them some space. If your teen is neither violent nor destructive, give them some privacy. There is nothing wrong with giving them time to take a walk around the park alone or go in their room and lock the door. Sometimes, a few minutes alone can calm a teenager down.
4. Get to Know Teachers
Getting to know your teen’s teachers and developing a good relationship with them can make it much easier, as well as make both yourself and their teachers aware of behavior problems. This can help build a support system for the child and yourself too.
5. Support Group
Although you may believe that your teen is the issue, there is always room to work on yourself as a parent. A parent support group/parenting classes can teach you how to improve your home environment and inform you of better ways to handle your teen when the rebellion switches into full gear. Bettering yourself as a parent can benefit your rebellious teen significantly.
6. Family Counseling
Family counseling can help to address the underlying issues that led to the rebellion. Every rebellious period stems from an underlying issue. This can be anything from school to friends or yourself. Once the cause of your teen’s bad behavior is addressed, a family counselor can then give the family tips, strategies and skills to repair these issues.

Overal,l leaning to handle teenage rebellion requires work, patience and determination. Getting involved in their life without being invasive is a great place to start. Aside from that, these tips should be very helpful, because they have proven helpful to me time and again.

Contributor: Kim Richmonds likes to write about parenting & saving money at www.homeinsurance.org.

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Teen Drinking may not be just a phase...

2012-04-19T06:21:00.001-07:00

April is Alcohol Awareness Month.

Though parents shouldn't need a reminder to talk to their kids about the dangers and risks of underage drinking, this is a good time to be sure you find time to set aside and discuss this subject. Peer pressure can be extremely powerful force - especially in middle school and high school.

1) At what age would you suggest parents start talking to kids about alcohol? Should parents bring it up independently, or wait for their children to ask before broaching the topic?

Like with any sensitive and serious subject, as soon as a parent believes their child is mature enough to understand the topic (alcohol) is when they should start discussions. It can start by asking them their thoughts on alcohol, listen to them carefully and remember, never criticize. Start the discussion at their level and start learning from each other.

Education is the key to prevention and can help your child to better understand the risk and dangers of alcohol from an early age.

Waiting for a crisis to happen, such as living with an alcoholic or having an issue with a family member that has a drinking problem is not the time to start talking to the child. With this type of situation, the subject should be approached as early as the child can possibly understand alcohol and substance use.

2) If you’ve had bad experiences with alcohol in the past (ie you or a friend/family member has battled alcoholism or similar issues), should you be open about them with your kid? If so, when is the right age for kids to hear this information? How open should you be?

This is a very tricky question. On one hand we value honesty, however when a teenager likes to throw it back at you when they decide to experiment and it goes too far is when you realize you may want to pick and choose what stories from your past you want to share.
If you have a family member that has battled with addiction, alcoholism or similar issues, there is nothing like firsthand experiences (especially those people that are related to them) to help them understand how harmful this disease can be and in some cases, deadly.    I think it is very important that your teenager know these stories and how it relates to them – especially as they go into middle school and high school and start feeling the peer pressure from to others to experiment with different substances.

3) Are there any websites or books that you’d recommend having parents read or showing kids (at any age)? Are certain types of information better for each age group (ie maybe children respond better to broad themes and videos, tweens respond well to anecdotes and stories, and teens respond better to hard facts about drinking and health)?

Ask Listen Learn: Is a fantastic interactive and educational website created by The Century Council For Underage Drinking. This site if full of facts, resources, videos downloads, games as well as more links that offer extended information. This site is targeted for all ages from younger kids to teens.
The Cool Spot: This is another great website for tweens and teens. This deals with information on alcohol and helping teens and young teens resist peer pressure.
Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood by Koren Zailckas – This is an excellent book for both parents and teens of a true story. It was a NYT’s best seller. Eye-opening and utterly gripping, Koren Zailckas’s story is that of thousands of girls like her who are not alcoholics—yet—but who routinely use booze as a shortcut to courage and a stand-in for good judgment. This book is more for teenagers and parents.

4) Do you think that schools and/or the media do a good job of warning kids about the dangers of alcohol consumption, or do they receive mixed messages about drinking? How might you incorporate your thoughts about this into a conversation with your child?

Schools and teachers do what they are paid to do, and in most cases, especially with dedicated teachers and employees, will go above their duty and do more. However it is the parent’s responsibility to continue to talk to their child about the risks and dangers of alcohol, as well as the peer pressure they may face in school and in their community.

Though many parents are busy today, some working two jobs, many are single parents – there are few excuses not to take the time to talk to your kids about these subjects. Whether it is Internet safety, substance abuse, safe sex, or simply homework – parenting is your priority. I am not saying this is easy, I know for a fact, it isn’t. I was a single parent with two teenagers, it was very hard. I think today is even more challenging since there is more obstacles to contend with than there was even a decade ago.
The good news is the most recent study by The Century Council says that 83% of youth cite parents as the leading influence in their decisions not to drink alcohol. Another words – our kids are listening and parents are doing their job parenting!

5) How often should you talk to kids about alcohol, and does it vary by age? (i.e. less frequently for younger children, more frequently for tweens, and most frequently for teenagers?)
As frequently as you have an opportunity. If there is a reason for it – if there is a conversation about it, expand on it – don’t run from it. This is for both tweens and teens. As far as little children are concerned, again it depends on their maturity and what your family dynamics consist of.

6) If you drink yourself, is it ever a good idea to allow kids to drink with you (i.e. a glass of wine at dinner) to de-stigmatize alcohol and help them be responsible? Or is it instead better to forbid them from consuming alcohol altogether until they are 21?

Alcohol is illegal for underage drinkers. However there are some that believe that a sip of alcohol isn’t be a big deal. I believe this is a personal decision, but if you have alcoholism that runs in your family, it is something that I would caution you on.
The other side to this is some people believe it would eliminate them from trying it at a friend’s house where they could get into trouble such as drinking and driving. I think this goes back to being a personal choice on for your family. It goes back to talking to your teen – communication. Keep the lines open!

7) If you suspect your child’s friends are drinking or pressuring him/her to drink, should you stop allowing your child to hang out with them?

Communication. Talk to your child about these friends. Find out what is going on and help your child see that maybe the choices he/she is making are not in their best interest. It is better if your teen comes to the conclusion not to hang out with these friends rather than their parent telling them not to.

8) Should the discussion be different for a daughter versus a son? How might you talk to the different sexes differently about alcohol (i.e. maybe you’d warn girls more about not having people slip something in their drinks at parties, while you’d warn boys more about alcohol and hazing/pranks.)

I don’t want parents to get confused on gender and alcoholism. It doesn’t discriminate. A girl or a boy can be slipped a drug in their drink at a party – just like a girl or boy can be coerced into participating into a mean prank of hazing.

With this, whether you have a son or daughter, you need to speak with them about the risks of leaving any drink alone and coming back for it. Keep in mind, you don’t have to have an alcoholic beverage to put a powdery substance into it (another words even a soda can be spiked).

The important issue is they understand that these things can happen and they can happen to them.

9) What should you do if you suspect your teenager is drinking against your advice?

Communication. I know it is easier said than done (and I sound like a broken record), however it is the best tool we have and the most effective. As hard as it can be, talking with a teenager is difficult, but we have to continue to break down those walls until they talk to us and tell us why they are turning to alcohol.
If you aren’t able to get through, please don’t be ashamed or embarrassed if you can’t, you are not alone.

Again, teen years are the most trying times. Reach out to an adolescent therapist or counselor. Hopefully your teen will agree to go. If not, may you have a family member or good friend your teen will confide in. It so important to get your teen to talk about why he/she is drinking. Don’t give up – whether it is a guidance counselor, sports coach, someone he/she is willing to open up to.

Parents can’t allow this to escalate and only believe it is a phase. Maybe it is – but maybe it isn’t. Be proactive. Don’t wait for it to reach the addiction level. Don’t be a parent in denial. There is help and you don’t have to be ashamed to ask for it.

There are many typical teens that end up being addicts – don’t let your teenager be one of them.

10) Could you offer one specific tip for each age group (elementary school, tween/middle school, and high school) that I may have missed or that people might not think of?

For all ages, parents need to realize how important it is to be a role model. As I mentioned earlier, 83% of children are listening and are influenced by their parents. That is a large number. So continue keeping those lines of communication open – starting early and going into their college years!

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Teen Drug Use to Teen Drug Dealer

2012-04-08T06:33:00.000-07:00

Yes, this is a trend I am hearing more and more of - and it is quite disturbing.

Parents fear their teens using drugs - well, some parents even make excuses - "it's just pot, I did it when I was a teen," please understand - this is not the marijuana you did when you were a teen - in most cases marijuana can be laces with other substances that can be addictive or even deadly.

Now phone calls are coming more frequently of teens that are dealing drugs not only to support their habit - but to make money.

A cry for help? Yes! Well, no - not according to the teenager, but the parents should wake up and realize they have to intervene before this escalates to major drug trafficking and your child is no just arrested for possession but now is dealing with drug trafficking, selling to minors - and maybe more serious charges.

I recently wrote an article for School Family - 10 Tips to Help Prevent Teen Drug Addiction.

This combined with getting your teen outside help are steps, you, as a parent can take.

Visit www.helpyourteens.com for more information.

Self Injury and Cutting: When Teens Turn to Self-Abuse

2012-03-31T06:00:00.001-07:00

Unfortunately we are hearing more of this and sadly teens are feeling this is their only escape from what they believe is an experience they can't seem to reconcile.

Self abuse (or self mutilation) can come in many forms; most commonly it is associated with cutting, hair pulling or bone breaking, but it can also manifest itself as eating disorders like bulimia, and/or anorexia. My site will focus mainly on cutting, which is the most common form of self abuse, with 72% of all self injurers choosing to do so by cutting themselves, and hair pulling.

Cutting is exactly as it sounds; when your teen cuts him or herself as a physical expression to feel emotional pain. There are many reasons why teens injure themselves, but many people assume it’s just ‘for attention’.

Often this can be an element of why your teen may be abusing him or her self, but just as often it can be something your teen does privately to express the emotional pain they feel inside. And while self injury is a taboo subject, it is estimated that 3 to 6 million Americans self injure themselves in some way, and that number is on the increase- in fact, its already doubled in the past three years.

For more help, please contact us at www.helpyourteens.com.

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Teen Runaways

2012-03-21T18:54:00.002-07:00

Each year, one million troubled teens from every social class, race and religion run away from home. Unfortunately, for American families, that number continues to rise.

Being a parent isn't easy. And it can be especially difficult raising teenagers these days. But do you know where to turn if you are having problems with your child? What do you do when your teen is missing and you aren't getting help from your local authorities?

The National Runaway Switchboard is one resource parents can turn to. 1-800-RUNAWAY. All calls to National Runaway Switchboard (NRS) are confidential and free 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Call 1-800-RUNAWAY now to speak with someone, or check out our other resources and services.

If your teen is a chronic runaway and you are at your wit's end, it may be time to consider residential therapy. After you have exhausted your local resources and therapy isn't working, and in many situations the teen refuses to attend therapy, you may be at a point that residential treatment is your last resort.

Visit www.helpyourteens.com for more information. It is a major emotional and financial decision.

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Prescription Drug Use: Medicine Cabinets and Your Teens

2012-03-15T16:26:00.000-07:00

Many teens believe that taking prescription drugs to get high is safer than using street drugs.

Be AWARxE!

Prescription drugs are dangerous when they are not used correctly as directed by a doctor.

One in five teens have taken a prescription drug that was not theirs to get high or to deal with problems.
Teens are abusing pain pills (Vicodin®, OxyContin®), stimulants (Ritalin®, Adderall®), and tranquilizers (Xanax®, Valium®).
Teens take these drugs right out of the medicine cabinet – at home, at a friend’s house, or when visiting family.
5.2 million people, including kids ages 12 and older, said they had abused prescription pain relievers, as reported in a 2007 survey.
More people are visiting the emergency room because they misused prescription pain medication. From 2004 to 2009, emergency room visits due to misusing narcotic pain pills increased by almost 100%.

Learn more at AWARE RX.

Fact:Prescription drugs are the most commonly abused drugs among 12-13 year olds. Many of these pills can be found in your medicine cabinet and around your house. In an effort to help stop this growing problem, the DEA is hosting a Take-Back Day on April 28, 2012. If you have any unused prescription drugs in your home, you can drop them off at the designated collection site in your community on April 28.

The DEA coordinates with the local law enforcement and community partners to provide thousands of sites across the country, many of them at police departments, so that the unwanted drugs are disposed of safely and legally. Sites will accept pills, both prescription and nonprescription, for disposal.

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Difficult Teens: Disrespectful Teens?

2012-03-06T18:30:00.002-08:00

What happened?

When we grew up and our parents told us to be home by 10pm we never questioned them, we were home by 10:00, if not 10 minutes earlier. We never dared back talked (well, if we did, we learned real fast it was usually the last time we did it).

It seems teenagers today have a sense of entitlement issue. They have no sense of respect for their parents. Sometimes we can be fortunate that they do respect their teachers and our neighbors. However when they come home, they can become a person we don't recognize.

Again, what happened?

Is it today's society? It is peer pressure? It is the desire to give our kids more than we had? Is it technology?

Honestly, it is a million dollar question that really doesn't matter, because at the end of the day, some are struggling with a teen that is going down a negative path. We have once good teens making some very bad choices. If it escalates to a point that you are actually reading my Blogs - and now seeking outside help - it usually means you have reached your wits end.

Believe it or not, now is the time not to make rash decisions. Once you have exhausted all you local resources, such as local therapy, your relatives and other programs in your area, you may be ready for residential therapy. However this is where it gets tricky.

You get online and you type in all sorts of buzz words you before you know it - you are bombarded with all sorts of toll free numbers with promises of help and understanding.... really? Back up... Realize that the teen help industry is a big business - yes, you may need help, and you may need a school or program, but your teen is not for sale - and you are not going to be scammed.

How do I know this? I was scammed over a decade ago - I learned the hard way. I had that teen that was a good teen, before she started making those bad decisions - and then I made a rash decision. Learn from my mistakes - gain from my knowledge.... Visit - www.helpyourteens.com - and read our story at www.aparentstruestory.com.

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Educational Consultants and Teen Help Programs

2012-02-28T06:42:00.000-08:00

At your wit's end? Who can help?

When a parent first hits that brick wall of having a teen that is out-of-control they literally are clueless at who to call or what to look up on the Internet.

Being in the dark can lead to making rash decisions and this is something you don't want to do when it comes to your child.

Some parents assume that Educational Consultants are the experts to turn to for placement of troubled teens and in some cases, that may be true. However, like with many other purchases in life, you need to know what you are buying into.

Educational Consultants were originally designed to help parents with their teens to find the right colleges and with the application process. As many know, this has been replaced with CollegeBoard and many other websites online.

As the shift in teen help increased, they seemed to branch out into the residential treatment field. Most have not experienced what you are going through. Most do not know what you are dealing with at home. Only an experienced parent that has been there really knows that feeling of helplessness. Which is why I created Parents' Universal Resource Experts, Inc.

We are parents - we have walked your shoes. After experiencing an extremely difficult time with my own teenager - surfing the Internet - being scammed online - my teen being harmed at a program that misrepresented themselves, I decided to take a closer look at this teen help industry.

After years of visiting schools and programs, collecting years of feedback (from parents, students and employees), background researches, on-site visits, etc... We offer parents advice and educated tips on looking at schools and programs.

The last thing parents need to get involved in, in our opinion, is an EC (Educational Consultant) Shuffle. What is the EC Shuffle? Find out more and try not to get into the mix. We do not employ this type of assistance for your needs. "The EC I spoke with only wants $500.00, that seems fair." Remember the cliché you get what you pay for, yes, you will find some Educational Consultants that will only charge $500.00 but you also get limited services usually including the EC Shuffle with a list of programs. Nothing more than you could have found on your own in a few Internet searches.

Some Educational Consultants are fair and don't employ this type of method. Please remember this is your child and no one knows him better than you. Do you really need a middle person for your child? Shouldn't the program speak directly to you? Save yourself $5000.00 and find the right for your child. It may take you a day or two longer, but you can do it. Sometimes it doesn't take that long - it is all about knowing the right questions - and at www.helpyourteens.com - we have helpful tips and hints to guide you.

Teen Anger: Dealing with Teen Rage

2012-02-24T07:53:00.000-08:00

Speaking with parents on a daily basis, I hear a lot about how teens can go into a rage, especially when they don’t get what they want. It seems family values and respect for parents and authority has diminished in today’s generation. I am not talking about all families, but many that I speak with, they don’t understand where there once happy toddler went.

Here is a good guest post with five possible reason that can cause teen anger:

5 Ways to Make Your Teenager Angry
Any parent of a teenager knows that one of the main emotions associated with that age is, you guessed it, anger. In fact, most people simply refer to their teenager as an “angry teen” and write off those emotions as a simple fact of life during that age. While this is definitely true, it is also imperative to treat your teen with as much care and respect as you would any other loved one, even if they treat you with the opposite of care and respect, at times. As a parent, you can’t write off your teen’s anger. In fact, if you’re not careful, you run the risk of making them seriously angry at you, rather than simply angry at the world. Here’s how:
1. Don’t Listen to What They Have to Say
One of the most important things to do while your kids are teenagers is to try to foster and maintain communication. Even if your teen would rather walk home in the snow than talk to you about his day, you have to take advantage of any communication you can get. And, most importantly, when you do get the opportunity to communicate, focus less on what you would like to say to them and more on what they have to say to you. You could be so occupied with worrying about the next thing you think you should tell them that you can miss hugely important clues about your teens life and how he or she is feeling.
2. Tell Them They Are Just Being a Teen
Talk about being written off! And at the absolute worst time in life to feel that way, no less. Never, ever make the mistake of treating your teen like their opinions or emotions are invalid simply because they are going through their “teens.” There is nothing that will push your child away faster or make them feel more annoyed and insulted.
3. Don’t Practice What You Preach
You may feel like you can relax a little once your kids are grown up, without the worry of them repeating things they shouldn’t say or copying behaviors they shouldn’t be copying. It’s easy to feel like you can cut back on trying to provide an example. But, even if it doesn’t feel like it, your teen is still watching you and emulating your behavior. If you are constantly lecturing them about following through on their homework, you better take the trash out if that is one of your family chores or remove foul language from your vocabulary if you expect the same from them. If you are going to ask your teen to follow through on things they say they will do, you absolutely must set that example.
4. Make Them Feel Isolated
When your teen suddenly prefers to lock herself in her room, music blaring, rather than hang out with the family, it can be easy to just leave them alone up there and not bother. Once invitations have been rejected so many times, you can begin to feel like it would be better to stop bothering them altogether. However, your teen still needs to feel like a relevant and important member of the family, or else you run the risk of creating a feeling of isolation that could continue into the later teen years.
5. Don’t Prepare Them for Plans
This is another area where parents sometimes feel that it’s better to stay away than address an issue or upcoming plan with their teen. Things like letting them know that you will be going out of town in two weeks, or that you want to have a family movie night on Friday, are simple to throw on your teen last minute, especially when they act like they could care less. The truth is, in the moment, they probably don’t care. But that doesn’t mean that you should surprise them by springing plans on them last minute. Sometimes teens, just like anyone else, need a little time to mentally prepare for upcoming events, and being forced to do something without warning is a surefire recipe for a breakdown.

Byline:
This is a guest post by Kimberly Wilson. Kimberly is from accredited online colleges, she writes on topics including career, education, student life, college life, home improvement, time management etc.

Join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today’s teenagers.

Need help, contact Parents' Universal Resource Experts for a free consultation.

Intelligent Teen Making Bad Choices

2012-02-16T07:21:00.001-08:00

What happened to my teen that as making straight A's always so concerned about getting their homework done on time, participated in school activities and looked forward to family gatherings?

Adolescence? Peer pressure? Today's society? A school incident such as bullying/cyberbullying?

Sometimes it could be something a parent can't detect however they do see their once flourishing child now sinking into a deep dark hole. They are either gravitating to a negative peer group or withdrawing all together, becoming secretive and actually failing school. Sometimes skipping classes or not attending school at all. Do you suspect they are using drugs or drinking?

What is the next step?

Seeking local help and all local resources should always be the first step. Once you have exhausted all these options and you still see your child is sinking deeper, it may be time to consider residential therapy. This is a major emotional and financial decision.

This will take time and research. The Internet will be your friend and your foe at this point. It is important you understand the difference between Internet fact and Internet fiction. Who to trust and who is simply "selling" you a litany of programs.

For a free consultation on this daunting industry, and a free chapter of my book, Wit's End! Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out of Control Teens, visit www.helpyourteens.com.

Teen Help Programs - Tips in looking for safe and quality programs

2012-02-04T06:49:00.000-08:00

Are you looking for residential therapy for your at-risk teenager?

Are they a good teen making bad choices? You don't want to place them in a school or program that has a hard-cord element, a type of teen that will actually create more negative issues.

After all, your teen is highly intelligent, was once a rising athlete, interested in sports, music or other clubs at school or even in your community. Now they are hanging out with less than desirable peers and have become someone you don't even recognize.

You hop on the Internet, as most 2012 parents do and start typing in all sort of key words - and before you know it - you are bombarded with all sorts of programs and schools and "sales reps" that seem to have answers - or so you think.

This is when you need to step back and understand that YES, you do need help, you do need an intervention and you do need to remove your teen from their environment enable to get them the help they need. Let's face it, therapy isn't working anymore - if you can even get them to attend.

My mantra has been - learn from my mistakes when I wen through this. Read - www.aparentstruestory.com - and you will see you need to take your time. It is not to scare you - it is to educate you.

Here are a few tips to remember:

Look for programs that are not attached to "sales reps". You want to speak directly to an owner or director. Someone that has a vested interest in your teen. Someone that their reputation will be reflected on your child's success (or lack of). Someone who you can hold accountable through the duration of your teen's stay.
Look for the ACE factor. A=Academics - Always ask for a copy of their accreditation for education - be sure it is transferable back to where you live. C=Clinical - Be sure the clinical staff is credentialed. E=Enrichment programs - These are critical to be sure your teen is stimulated in a positive direction to want to make better choices. This isn't about breaking your child down, it is about building them up.
Ask for parent references of parents with the same gender and age of your own teenager. Also take it a step further. Ask for families that are in your same geographical area. This way maybe you will be able to meet with them and possibly even the graduate of the program you are considering.
Keep in mind - Short term programs - short term results. Don't get sucked into them.

I have many more tips and offer free parent consultation at www.HelpYourTeens.com.

Don't reach your wit's end and make a rash decision - made an education choice.... Be an educated parent - this a major emotional and financial decision.

Cross Creek, Horizon Academy, Red River Academy, Specialty Boarding Schools or Not?

2012-01-28T12:52:00.000-08:00

Not able to recognize your teen anymore?

Are you considering residential therapy for your teen, and recognize those program names? Stop and read on....

You find yourself surfing the net. Your once happy baby, turned toddler progressed into elementary school then suddenly hit adolescence and something changed. But what was it?

After all, your teen is smart, they are good looking, usually very athletic, capable of getting A's yet bringing home C's, you are getting reports that they are skipping classes, if they aren't skipping school all together - then you suddenly see a shift in their choice of friends.... what is going on?

Some parents will think - typical teen - maybe it is. However when do you know when it is time to intervene? It always it! It is a parent's responsibility to know when safety trumps privacy.

Keeping the lines of communication open, even when your teen clams up. It isn't easy, but talking is your road to finding out what is going on in their life.

All of this sounds so simple, but trust me - I know it isn't and if you are reading this - it means you have already tried all these avenues and you have reached your wit's end - just as I did over a decade ago.

I firmly believe in getting outside help - I absolutely believe in residential treatment centers and therapeutic boarding school (though I am not an advocate of wilderness programs or boot camps - since both are short term programs with very short term results). Wilderness programs, in particular, are an extremely costly band-aid and almost always recommend you go on to the next step - which is where you need to start anyway - so why spend the intitial $15K (approx). Boot Camps, in my opinion, are just a bad idea all the way around - we want to build a child up - not beat them down.

So what do you do?

Take your time - do your research! Don't let what happen to my daughter and myself happen to you!

Take 10 minutes to read my story - A Parent's True Story. It could save you not only a lot of money, but from making a major mistake I made.

Want to know about the above mentioned programs and Lisa Irvin? Click here.

Tough love and trying to help your troubled teen

2012-01-21T04:14:00.000-08:00

Many parents call about the old saying "tough love". What exactly is it? It was an organization that, I understand disbanded several years ago. Their philosophy of letting your child go - had some very good concepts, however many parents could not follow through, and with that - you would only empower the child. Finding that middle road can be difficult.

Many cannot understand or grasp the concept of, tough love or not enabling the child to ruin or run the family unit. Enduring life with a teen that is running the home can result in many uproars, conflicts, arguments, battles, and sometimes psychical and verbal abuse. Tough love is exactly that: tough. Loving our children is unconditional, but we don't have to like what they are doing or how they are destroying their lives. You can literally love your child to death. You can actually do more harm when you believe you are helping or saving your child.

There will come a time when a parent realizes enough is enough! This is the time that they need the support from outside sources, such as a parent support groups or a local therapist. This does not reflect you as a parent, nor does it place blame on the family. The entire family is suffering, including the child.

Many times tough love is simply letting go. Let the child make their mistakes and they will either learn from them or suffer the consequences. Unfortunately depending on the situation, it is not always feasible to wait until the last minute to intervene. If you see that tough love is not working at home, it may be time to consider residential placement (placement outside the home).

Quality residential placements work with the entire family. Once the child is safely removed from the family, everyone is able to concentrate on the issues calmly and rationally.Tough love can mean finding the most appropriate setting outside of the home for your child, however working with the entire family.

While in the whirlwind of confusion, frustration and stress that the child is causing, it is hard to see the actual problem or problems. With time and distance, the healing starts to occur. Tough love is a very painful and stressful avenue, but in many families, very necessary and very rewarding.

Tough love if used correctly can be helpful. However if you are the type to give in at the end, all the hard work of standing your ground will be for nothing. Actually, your weakness or giving in could result in deeper and more serious problems. Please confer with professionals or outside help if you feel you are not able to follow through with what you are telling your child you will do.

Don't be ashamed to ask for help, you are certainly not alone.

If you would like more information on Residential Treatment Centers, Therapeutic Boarding Schools, Emotional Growth Programs, Life Skills Programs, Boarding Schools, Teen Help Programs, Behavior Modification Programs, please visit www.HelpYourTeens.com for more information.

Horizon Academy - Neveda - Southern Utah - Specialty Boarding Schools? Really?

2012-01-11T15:38:00.000-08:00

This is big decision, take your time!

Are you confused yet? Looking for teen help and realizing this is a BIG BUSINESS?

So, your teen is driving your crazy. You are at your wit's end. You have finally decided you need outside help. You have exhausted all your local resources. Local therapy doesn't help, heck, you can't even get your teen to attend. Your teen is failing in school, he/she is very smart yet doesn't want to attend school and believe they know it all. Many say, "typical teen", but as a parent, we know it is more than that.

Where did our good kid go? Good kids making bad choices - and they don't need to be placed in an environment that will make them worse in my opinion - learn from what happened to me!

As a victim of the WWASPS organization - I am often called or receive many emails about our (my daughter and I) experiences with them. Obviously not pleasant. Though I am happy to say the program she was at, Carolina Springs Academy, which attempted to go through a name change to Magnolia Christian Academy (or School) depending on the day you Googled it, is finally closed - it has been rumored some of the staff is now at their affiliate program - Red River Academy.

Let me be clear for legal purposes - these are rumors - but if I were placing my child in program, I personally wouldn't take any chances - and furthermore, Red River Academy is clearly named in the current lawsuit which is extremely disturbing with allegations of fraud, abuse, neglect and much more - (click here) that is current.

Then we come to Horizon Academy. Another alleged WWASPS facility. Why say alleged? Maybe they will deny they are affiliated - yet look at their staff, again, you will see they were once employed at other WWASPS programs. Jade Robinson was at the program in Mexico (named in that lawsuit with alleged abuse and neglect) Casa By the Sea, then went on to Bell Academy, which didn't last long, and I assume is trying to continue at Horizon Academy.

So when the "sales rep" tells you that "Sue Scheff" is a disgruntled parent - I say - YES, I was - you put my daughter in a box for 17 hours, she was mentally and emotionally abused - food and sleep deprived - I was complete defrauded - and she also missed out on 6 months of education. None of which I had signed up for. Grant it, this was 10 years ago - a lot has changed - but those original owners haven't - so in my humble opinion - I wouldn't trust any of their programs with my pets..... BTW: I am the only parent to have defeated WWASPS in a jury trial.

Most of the other (many) lawsuits have settled out of court with silence agreements. I don't have one, which is why I can still share my story - which is why I get slimed online - which is why their sales reps have all sorts of stories about me - including "the jury made a mistake" - neglecting to tell you I won the appellate court too. No one condones child abuse - period.

I have been called a crusader (and not in a flattering way) though I take it that way. I have made it my mission to find the better programs and schools, since I do know what it is like to be at your wit's end. I know what parents need help. I am not against residential therapy, which brings us to many of my stalkers that were formally abused in programs that believe all programs should be closed down. That is being extreme - they are not a parent trying to save their child's life and future.

I will share with you that there are more safe and quality programs than there are bad ones - it is just about doing your homework and research. Today you are more fortunate than I was - you have more access to information and you can learn from my mistakes and my knowledge.

Please - take 10 minutes to read my story and see the list of programs that are and were once affiliated with Carolina Springs Academy - and from there, you make your own choices for your child.

I had one parent that almost went to Red River Academy that actually said the sales rep said they could have their teen "extracted" within a few hours? Extracted? Really - is your child a tooth? Please don't get rushed into a quick decision - this is a major emotional and financial decision.

My organization is Parents' Universal Resource Experts - and no matter what those "sales reps" or the Internet fiction - I don't own, operate or manage any schools or programs! We are about educating parents when they are looking for help for their at risk teen.... Don't get scammed when you are at your wit's end.

Oh - and when these "sales reps" send out these defamatory links about me - another FACT they neglect to tell you is I won the landmark case for Internet Defamation that awarded me $11.3M in damages for what was said about me online! Lies and twisted facts! Here is my recent appearance on Anderson Cooper.

This is strictly my opinion on my own experiences - you are free to make your choices...

Sue Scheff on Anderson Cooper talk about Cyberstalking

2012-01-06T10:25:00.000-08:00

Anderson Cooper speaks with Sue Scheff

Yes, I was more than thrilled to meet Anderson Cooper and must say I was humbled by his sincere concern for those that are victimized by others that are being destroyed online by vicious keystrokes.

For those that don't know my story, it starts in 2000 and ended in 2006 with a landmark victory for Internet Defamation and invasion of privacy. My stories were written and published by Health Communications Inc (HCI - home of Chicken Soup for the Soup book series) and over the past decade, my mistakes and my knowledge has helped thousands of people and families to make better decisions for their teens and their virtual lives.

Whether you are considering residential therapy or thinking about creating a Facebook page, you will learn from the mistake I made. After spending years in litigation - with two major victories - and almost being silenced to tell my story, I am here to not only share my story, but to be sure what happened to my daughter and myself doesn't happen to others, but to let you know that what you post online today - can and will haunt you tomorrow!

Check out part of my segment on Anderson Cooper - click here.

My books: Wit's End and Google Bomb are both available on Amazon!

Red River Academy - Buyer Beware - IMO

2011-12-30T07:29:00.000-08:00

Making the right choice takes time. Don't get scammed.

As a victim of the WWASPS organization - I am often called or receive many emails about our (my daughter and I) experiences with them. Obviously not pleasant. Though I am happy to say the program she was at, Carolina Springs Academy, which attempted to go through a name change to Magnolia Christian Academy (or School) depending on the day you Googled it, is finally closed - it has been rumored some of the staff is now at their affiliate program - Red River Academy.

Let me be clear for legal purposes - these are rumors - but if I were placing my child in program, I personally wouldn't take any chances - and furthermore, Red River Academy is clearly named in the current lawsuit which is extremely disturbing with allegations of fraud, abuse, neglect and much more - (click here) that is current.

So when the "sales rep" tells you that "Sue Scheff" is a disgruntled parent - I say - YES, I was - you put my daughter in a box for 17 hours, she was mentally and emotionally abused - food and sleep deprived - I was complete defrauded - and she also missed out on 6 months of education. None of which I had signed up for. Grant it, this was 10 years ago - a lot has changed - but those original owners haven't - so in my humble opinion - I wouldn't trust any of their programs with my pets..... BTW: I am the only parent to have defeated WWASPS in a jury trial. Most of the other (many) lawsuits have settled out of court with silence agreements. I don't have one, which is why I can still share my story - which is why I get slimed online - which is why their sales reps have all sorts of stories about me - including "the jury made a mistake" - neglecting to tell you I won the appellate court too. No one condones child abuse - period.

I have been called a crusader (and not in a flattering way) though I take it that way. I have made it my mission to find the better programs and schools, since I do know what it is like to be at your wit's end. I know what parents need help. I am not against residential therapy, which brings us to many of my stalkers that were formally abused in programs that believe all programs should be closed down. That is being extreme - they are not a parent trying to save their child's life and future.

I will share with you that there are more safe and quality programs than there are bad ones - it is just about doing your homework and research. Today you are more fortunate than I was - you have more access to information and you can learn from my mistakes and my knowledge.

Please - take 10 minutes to read my story and see the list of programs that are and were once affiliated with Carolina Springs Academy - and from there, you make your own choices for your child.

I had one parent that almost went to Red River Academy that actually said the sales rep said they could have their teen "extracted" within a few hours? Extracted? Really - is your child a tooth? Please don't get rushed into a quick decision - this is a major emotional and financial decision.

My organization is Parents' Universal Resource Experts - and no matter what those "sales reps" or the Internet fiction - I don't own, operate or manage any schools or programs! We are about educating parents when they are looking for help for their at risk teen.... Don't get scammed when you are at your wit's end.

Oh - and when these "sales reps" send out these defamatory links about me - another FACT they neglect to tell you is I won the landmark case for Internet Defamation that awarded me $11.3M in damages for what was said about me online! Lies and twisted facts! Here is my recent appearance on Anderson Cooper.

This is strictly my opinion from my own experiences - you are free to make your own choices.

New Youth Smoking Data

2011-12-21T08:53:00.000-08:00

New data, from the Florida Department of Health, shows a decline in the prevalence of cigarette smoking among Florida’s middle school and high school students.The National Institutes of Health sent out a release about the National Institute on Drug Abuse’s (NIDA) 2011 Monitoring the Future Survey (MTF), which shows that cigarette and alcohol use by eighth, 10th and 12th-graders are at their lowest point since the MTF survey began polling teens in 1975. Release: http://www.nih.gov/news/health/dec2011/nida-14.htm

Below is a complete press release on the Florida youth data. The national 2011 results released last week showed that 18.7 percent of 12th-graders reported current (past-month) cigarette use. In Florida, that prevalence rate is below the national average at just 15.4 percent.

Three weeks ago, the Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids ranked Florida Ranks 13th in "Protecting Kids from Tobacco.” (http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/national-report-florida-ranks-13th-in-protecting-kids-from-tobacco-134745003.html)

New Tobacco Free Florida Website

I also encourage you to visit www.tobaccofreeflorida.com. Earlier this month, Tobacco Free Florida re-launched its website in time for the New Year, when many Floridians resolve to quit tobacco. The new, user-friendly website provides substantiated information to encourage tobacco users to quit and offers the tips and tools needed to quit successfully. In early 2012, Tobacco Free Florida will expand the website to include sections on helping others quit, a variety of tobacco-related issues in the state, information for teens, and much more.

Survey Data Shows Decrease in Smoking Among Florida Youth

Data Reveals Decrease in Cigarette Smoking Though Smokeless Tobacco Use Continues to Grow

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. – The Florida Department of Health (DOH) released results from the 2011 Florida Youth Tobacco Survey (FYTS) showing a decrease in cigarette smoking rates among Florida middle school and high school students.

In 2011, 11.9 percent of high school students and 3.5 percent of middle school students reported current cigarette use, meaning they had smoked a cigarette at least once during the past 30 days. Compared to last year, this data shows a decrease of 9.2 percent among high school students and a decrease of 28.6 percent among middle school students. More significantly, since the Tobacco Free Florida campaign launched in 2007, 17.9 percent fewer high school students and 42.6 percent fewer middle school students in Florida were current cigarettes smokers.

"The continued decrease in the smoking prevalence rate among our state’s youth is a clear indication of the effectiveness of our tobacco prevention programs,” said Dr. Frank Farmer, Florida’s State Surgeon General. “However, tobacco prevention remains a critical issue in Florida where tobacco use remains the number one cause of disease and preventable death."

Despite the promising decline of cigarette smoking among youth, the prevalence of smokeless tobacco use has trended upward among Florida youth over the past several years. This is consistent with an increase in smokeless tobacco use nationwide.

Smokeless tobacco products are perceived to be less harmful. But in reality, these products contain more nicotine than cigarettes ^[i] and 28 cancer-causing agents (carcinogens).^[ii] In addition, people who experiment with smokeless tobacco often develop a pattern of regular daily use.^[iii]

“The most prominent influence on youth’s decision to partake in tobacco products is whether the parent engages in tobacco use,” said Kim Berfield, Deputy Secretary for the Florida Department of Health. “Parents with nicotine habits are advised to quit as soon as possible and discuss their quit struggle with their children, as many children tend to underestimate the addictiveness of nicotine. Parents should also be aware and talk to their children about the dangers and misconceptions of smokeless tobacco and flavored tobacco products, which are growing in popularity in younger populations.”

Preventing youth tobacco initiation is a critical step in combating the pervasive problem of tobacco in our state. In fact, nine out of 10 adult smokers begin while in their teens, or earlier, and two-thirds become regular, daily smokers before they reach the age of 19.^[iv] In Florida, more than 22,800 kids (under 18) become new smokers each year.^[v]

Tobacco prevention is as imperative as ever. Today, the design and contents of tobacco products make them more attractive and addictive than ever before.^[vi] In addition, adolescents’ bodies are more sensitive to nicotine, and adolescents are more easily addicted than adults.^[vii]

Tobacco Free Florida offers a number of free, convenient and confidential resources to help young tobacco users quit.

· Online: Floridians age 13 or older can enroll in the Web Coach® at www.quitnow.net/florida, which will help them create personalized web-based quit plans.

· Phone: Floridians age 11 or older can call the Florida Quitline at 1-877-U-CAN-NOW to speak with a Quit Coach who will help them assess their addiction and help them create personalized quit plans.

ABOUT TOBACCO FREE FLORIDA

Tobacco Free Florida (TFF) is a statewide cessation and prevention campaign funded by Florida’s tobacco settlement fund. The program is managed by the Florida Department of Health, specifically the Bureau of Tobacco Prevention Program.

Smokers and smokeless tobacco users interested in quitting are encouraged to call the Florida Quitline at 1-877-U-CAN-NOW to speak with a quit coach. To learn about TFF and the state’s free quit smoking resources, visit www.tobaccofreeflorida.com or follow the campaign on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/TobaccoFreeFlorida or Twitter at twitter.com/tobaccofreefla.

Educational Consultants verses a Parent Consultant

2011-12-17T09:43:00.000-08:00

As a parent, YOU can make the right choices.

Do you really need to pay someone up to $5000.00 to tell you that you need to send your child to the woods for a glorified camping trip aka Wilderness program then to a residential program or are you capable of doing this yourself? Let's look at this..... Maybe you can save yourself some money......

Educational Consultants were originally designed to help parents with their teens to find the right colleges and with the application process.

As the shift in teen help increased, they seemed to branch out into the residential treatment field.

Most have not experienced what you are going through. Most do not know what you are dealing with at home. Only an experienced parent that has been there really knows that feeling of helplessness.

What is the EC Shuffle? Find out more and try not to get into the mix. Parent Consultants do not employ this type of assistance for your needs. "The EC I spoke with only wants $500.00, that seems fair." Remember the cliché you get what you pay for, yes, you will find some Educational Consultants that will only charge $500.00 but you also get limited services usually including the EC Shuffle with a list of programs. Nothing more than you could have found on your own in a few Internet searches.

Parent power - believe it or not - you can do it!

You have the ability and the power to find the right program that is best for your individual teen's needs. Parent Consultants are not only parents that have been there, they are parents that have personally visited many schools and programs. They have obtained even more information and feedback from other parents and students of a large variety of programs in the United States.

The big business or industry of teen help programs and schools is not about your educational background, such as being a PhD or an LCSW, it is about being in it and part of it - which goes back to first hand experiences.
Take advantage of our free consultation to determine if we will be able to assist you and your family.

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Facebook Status Red Flags for Parents of Teens

2011-12-05T09:31:00.000-08:00

Especially at the holidays, teenagers can feel blue just like some adults. Know how your kids are feeling.

What are their Facebook status saying?

"Forgive me."
"When will this end?"
"I hate my life"

RED FLAGS and parenting. Know them!

Facebook is the social hangout of the internet for all ages, but it is particularly true of teenagers.
Teenagers often are much more open about what they are thinking and feeling in this cyber environment than most older adults. Since teens experience many emotional ups and downs, it can be easy to dismiss most of their dramatic postings as nothing more than normal teenage drama. However, there have been too many instances in recent years when parents had wished they’d paid more attention to what their teenager had posted as their ‘current status’.
Here a few status updates parents should watch for and investigate further.

I can’t take it anymore. Although, this could mean anything from homework overload to sibling irritation, it could also be a cry for help from a teen who is truly overwhelmed with life in someway. It is not a status update that you want to ignore. Parents should take the initiative and find out what prompted this entry.
Text me. This may seem innocent enough, but, for some parents, it may be a signal that their teen may be trying to keep something hidden that needs to be in the open. Privacy and protection are always a fine line to walk with teenagers. Parents, however, should never hesitate to ask about the reason behind such a post.
Really loaded right now. If your teen is high enough to make this post on Facebook without thinking about the fact that their parents might see it, there is drug or alcohol abuse going on. Ignoring these types of problems does not make them go away.
Depressing song lyrics. Song lyrics are popular posts from teens. It may be what they’re listening to at the moment or a song that is running through their head. If the lyrics of the songs are continually negative and depressing, this could be an indication of the teen’s emotional state, as well.
No one understands. This is a common feeling during teenage years, but it is also one that can develop into a true depressive state. Seeing this posted as your teen’s Facebook status should raise enough concern for their parents to pursue the reasons behind the posting.
I hate my life. Again, this is not an unusual statement to come from a teen at different points in their adolescence, however, posting it as your Facebook status is similar to shouting it from the rooftops. It is always better to treat these statements seriously, than to ignore them as a simple impulse statement.
Forgive me, Mom & Dad. This kind of post would be one that should require immediate connection with your child. If it doesn’t mention what they are asking forgiveness for, it may be a subtle plea for you to stop them from doing something terrible. Take this very seriously!
You’re all going to die. In light of the terrible things we have seen happen in our schools, a teen who posts something like this should not be ignored. “I was just joking” is not an acceptable explanation for this type of post. A teen who posts such a statement publicly should expect inquiry from, not only his parents, but school and law enforcement as well.
I wish I were dead. Never assume these statements are words only. Any type of suicidal expression like this should be taken very seriously. Many parents have had the misfortune of finding out that even a verbal statement can be an indication of suicidal thoughts. A public posting of that thought should be taken just as seriously.
I hate my school. The key word in this status update is ‘my’. It doesn’t say ‘I hate school’, it is more specific than that. It would behoove the parents to find out what it is, about the child’s school, that made them post this statement, and what can be done to improve the situation.

Facebook status updates reach a lot of people, a parent of a teenager should definitely be one of those people who pays attention to what their child is broadcasting into cyberspace. It may be their way of trying to find out if anyone is really paying attention, and if anyone really cares.

Source: My ISP Finder

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Continue reading on Examiner.com Facebook statuses parents should be concerned about for their teens - Fort Lauderdale Parenting Teens | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/parenting-teens-in-fort-lauderdale/facebook-statuses-parents-should-be-concerned-about-for-their-teens#ixzz1fgNHuAVT

Does my teen need residential therapy?

2011-11-30T12:05:00.000-08:00

Especially during the holiday season, this can be one of the hardest decisions a parent can make.

Sending a child to a residential program/school is a major decision. It is not one to be taken lightly or to be decided on overnight.

Usually a teen's behavior has been slowly escalating and a parent knows that deep down things are not getting better. As much as you hope and pray that things will change, this is only typical teen behavior, sometimes it just isn't.

With drug use and substance abuse rising - more dangerous and deadly ingredients being used, such as spice and inhalants, parents have reason to be concerned. It isn't your marijuana of generations prior - it is so much worse and in many cases - addictive and deadly.

If you have reached your wit's end and now surfing the Internet for help, remember, anyone can build a website. Anyone can put up nice pictures and create great content. You need to do your due diligence.

Years ago I struggled with my own teenager. I was at my wit's end. I didn't realize what a big business this "teen help industry" was. Yes, my child needed help, but what we received was anything but that. My story is a cautionary tale - not one to scare you into not using a program, however on the contrary, you have to get your child help, but you have to do your research in getting them the right help.

Here are some quick tips:

Your child is not for sale, try to avoid those marketing arms selling you a list of programs that are not in the best interest of your child's individual needs.
Always speak with an owner or director - Someone that has a vested in your teen's recovery. Their reputation is on the line.
Wilderness and other short term programs are usually nothing more than a band-aid that will fall off as quickly as the program lasted. They are expensive camping trips and in most cases the Wilderness program will tell you at about 4 weeks that your teen will need to continue on to a longer term program. What? Yes, now you go back to the research board and worse than that, your teen will be deflated when he finds out he/she isn't coming home in 6-9 weeks as they were lead to believe - and they will be starting all over again with a new therapist - new schedule - and new setting. Don't get caught up in this "shuffle." Start and finish with the same school/program.
The average stay should be about 6-9-12 months, depending on your teen. Anything less is probably non-effective. Anything more, you may be creating abandonment issues in my opinion.
Do you really need an Educational Consultant? Absolutely not. You are the parent and no one knows your teen better than you do - with a few tips, you will be able to make some sound choices.

For more helpful hint and tips, please contact www.HelpYourTeens.com for a free consultation. After the ordeal I went through, I created this advocacy organization to help educate parents on finding safe and quality programs.

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Teen Drinking Turning Deadly: Drunkorexia

2011-11-26T06:18:00.000-08:00

At first, "drunkorexia" may sound like kind of a funny word, jokingly made up to describe a situation in which college students and others forgo food in order to be able to afford more alcohol and feel higher effects of alcohol on an empty stomach. But what some may brush off as crazy college-kid behavior is actually a serious problem that can have highly damaging consequences both in long- and short-term health.

Of course, that hasn't stopped college students from engaging in this unhealthy trend, and a study at the University of Missouri-Columbia indicated that one in six students had practiced drunkorexia within the last year. Typically, drunkorexia is done by women; the study showed that three out of four drunkorexia respondents were female.

Students may not realize that drunkorexia is incredibly damaging to their health, but the fact remains that the practice puts them at risk for problems like sexually transmitted diseases, malnutrition, and even seizures and comas. Specifically, the University of Missouri study indicates that drunkorexia may lead to:

Sexually transmitted diseases
HIV
Drunk driving
Injury risk
Perpetrating or being a victim of sexual assault
Passing out
Malnutrition
Cognitive disabilities
Heart problems
Seizures
Comas
Organ failures

All of the possible effects are disturbing, but perhaps the most worrisome are heart problems and cognitive disabilities that can stem from drunkorexia-induced malnutrition. STDs, injury, or sexual assault are without a doubt difficult to bounce back from, but malnutrition-induced heart problems and cognitive disabilities are something you just can't take back. Cognitive problems are especially disturbing for college students, as they can result in "difficulty concentrating, studying, and making decisions."

These are long-term health issues brought on by drunkorexia that can follow a college student for the rest of her life. That is, assuming that the student survives past the possibility of seizures, comas, and organ failure.

So it seems that a practice that may be approached lightheartedly is in fact a very serious problem that doesn't just stop with fun (and possible weight loss) one night. Used as a regular practice, drunkorexia can scar you for life and even end in death. And although the long-term effects are certainly frightening, the short-term possibilities of drunkorexia aren't incredibly easy hurdles to get over, either. Just one night of drunkorexia can have serious consequences, with higher levels of intoxication and starvation putting students at risk for dangerous behavior.
At high levels of intoxication, students lose the ability to make good decisions, which can lead to dangerous situations like having unprotected sex, or even being involved in a rape, driving drunk, and becoming injured as a result of stunts, fights, or simply an inability to function properly. In addition to these risks, just one night of intense drinking on an empty stomach can lead to blackouts, hospitalization, and death from alcohol poisoning.

Clearly, drunkorexia has serious and lasting consequences, even for students who aren't repeat offenders.

Source: Online College

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