The Blog of P.U.R.E. and Sue Scheff

Bullying continues to be a concern with parents and what their children can endure from other kids and now that school is here, it can start again. It is important to help your child understand that Bullying is not accepted and can potentially end up harming others not only emotionally - sometimes psychically. Here are some great tips for parents by Connect with Kids . “I kept trying to figure out ways to become better friends with them, like ways to fix myself so I could be better … like I wasn’t good enough… but then any time I changed anything … I changed my clothes, I learned that it wasn’t about my clothes because no matter what I did it was not good enough.” – Sarah Nadler, bullying victim Three out of four children say they’re bullied. One in ten say it happens everyday. Fourteen-year-old Alex Freed, who is tall and skinny with red hair and glasses, says it happened to him, “all day, from morning till the end; from 8 o’clock until 3 o’clock.” Alex’s bullying was not physical. In...

Source: Connect with Kids “My mom is very level-headed, and she knows (I drink). She is very realistic.” – Erik, college sophomore College parties involving alcohol are common nationwide, and about one-quarter of all college students are binge drinkers. Twenty-year-old Erik says he is not a binge drinker, and one big reason is a conversation his mother had with him in the summer before his freshman year. “She told me, ‘I’m not naïve. I know you are going to drink. Just drink in moderation, don’t be stupid,’” Erik says. That kind of warning, and particularly its timeliness, can be very effective, according to a study from Boise State University in Idaho. If mothers talk to their teens about alcohol during the period between high school and college, kids listen, the study found. After one or more conversations with mom, the odds that a college student will binge drink fell from an estimated one-in-four, to as low as one-in-ten, according to the Idaho study. A lot of what moms tell us as ...

What a great experience to share my book, Wit's End ! and story with Lisa Hayward at ABC News in West Palm Beach!

Tips for Parents on Surfing the Internet for Teen Help Schools and Programs - Do you Need an Educational Consultant? Internet Search – Many parents will use Search Engines to type in key words and search terms to describe their child. Unfortunately, in many cases, the parent will see the same group of programs/schools with different titles and descriptions, however leading back to the same organization. Parents that are not familiar with this industry can easily be misinformed. An example is a key word such as Military Schools. Are you aware that reputable Military Schools are not for at risk children? Please review http://www.helpyourteens.com/military_schools_and_academies.html . The term Spamdexing has been used when organizations will purchase many websites and URL’s all leading back to the same group. The vast number of key words and search terms, no matter what the issues, may all be filtered back to the same group. This can be very deceiving and detrimental when searching for th...

As a parent advocate , I am constantly seeking informational websites for parenting and helping us to better understand today's generation of youths. Alliance for Consumer Education has a vast amount of valuable resources to help you as a parent become educated on a variety of topics in regards to our children. Visit http://consumered.org/ for more information on Inhalants , Disease Prevention, Poison Prevention and Product Management .

Everything You Need to Know to Find Success in College and Beyond While college is a challenge for any student, the increased workload, complexity, freedom and competing demands make it particularly daunting for those students with Attention Deficit Disorder. But you need not be overwhelmed and you can succeed! College Confidence with ADD will help you turn obstacles into opportunities and overcome social, academic, financial, and personal challenges both in and out of the classroom. Whether your goal is to get into the school of your choice, improve your grades, survive the experience, gain guidance and direction, or springboard into the future of your dreams, this comprehensive and essential guide will help you succeed. Perfect for ADD students and parents alike. Ideal for busy lives and whirring minds. Also available in audiobook format as an immediate download . Learn more at http://www.thecreativelearninginstitute.com/paperback.htm

As school is opening throughout the country, it is time for parents to be prepared - not only helping their kids academically, but dealing with today's peer pressure which can include bullying and cyberbullying. Learn more. Dealing With Bullying Every day thousands of teens wake up afraid to go to school. Bullying is a problem that affects millions of students of all races and classes. Bullying has everyone worried, not just the kids on its receiving end. Yet because parents, teachers, and other adults don't always see it, they may not understand how extreme bullying can get. Bullying Is a Big Problem Bullying is when a person is picked on over and over again by an individual or group with more power, either in terms of physical strength or social standing. Two of the main reasons people are bullied are because of appearance and social status. Bullies pick on the people they think don't fit in, maybe because of how they look, how they act (for example, kids who are shy a...

Source: LA Times A survey on substance abuse among teens was released this morning that really lowers the boom on parents. The annual survey from the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University calls out parents for contributing to drug and alcohol use among kids ages 12 to 17. Some parents fail to monitor their children's activities, do not safeguard medications at home that can be used for abuse, and do not set good examples for their kids, the report said. Almost half of the teens surveyed -- a nationally representative sample of 1,002 teens and 312 of their parents -- said they leave the house to hang out with friends on school nights. Among those teens, half who come home after 10 p.m. said they had been drinking alcohol, smoking marijuana or doing other drugs. Just under 30% of those who come home between 8 and 10 p.m. said they had been drinking or using drugs. In contrast, only 14% of the parents said their teens leave the house to hang out with...

With today's struggling economy - compounded with the need to get our teens outside help, the costs can be staggering. Many lenders are no longer providing Educational Loans. One Lender that is offering help to parents is Clark Custom Educational Loans - Visit http://www.customedloans.com/ for more information.

Vanessa is an amazing young adult and author that created a website of vast information to help parents with today's teens - visit - http://www.onteenstoday.com/ for more! By Vanessa Van Petten As some of you know, I have started a private social network for some of my favorite mom and dad bloggers and website owners from around the web called Parents Who Click. This is a truly awesome group of individuals who are working tirelessly to promote positive family values, put out helpful advice and make good connections for families and youth. Once or twice a month I will be featuring and highlighting some of their websites along with some of their helpful articles for you to see (so you do not have to go RSS to a bajillion different websites). They also are constantly pointing out great sites and tips to me, which I will bring to you. Visit http://www.onteenstoday.com/2008/08/10/cool-parenting-articles-and-blogs-to-check-out/ for cool parenting articles and Blogs!

It can be hard to separate normal teen problems from those stemming from deep seeded adoption issues. The best way to understand your adopted teen is to simply talk to them. As Sue Scheff™ knows, keeping the lines of teen and parent communications open is the best step to fixing teen troubles. Unfortunately, most teens feel uncomfortable sharing troubled emotions with their parents, especially when the parents aren’t biologically related. The best thing adopted parents can do is stay informed of some of the issues that could affect their adopted teens. One major teenage adoption issue is the Primal Wound™ phenomenon. The term Primal Wound™ was coined in 1993 by Nancy Verrier in her revolutionary adoption book, Primal Wound™. Primal Wound™ refers to the feeling of duality that adopted children must overcome as they transition through their teenage years. An adopted child experiences separation from their natural caregiver, severing a link that will never truly be forgotten. Experts and...

By Sue Scheff One of the most important parts of any community is the local school system, and it’s easy for concerned parents and good citizens to become intimately involved in some important aspects of school decisions. Becoming involved with local schools helps decide the direction of the youth in your community, which is of the upmost importance for the success of any community system. A simple way to begin your citizen school involvement is by attending school board meetings. School board meetings help decide most of the important aspects of a school’s future, including school curriculum, dress code policy, disciplinary measures, budgeting, hiring teachers, new school buildings, and a variety of other things. This is one the best ways to be a part of local school decision making, and if your school board is elected it allows you to vote on school board members while understanding the types of administrative issues that my affecting your kid. At the very least, attending school boa...

Source: digtriad.com, Triad, NC New York — A new study reveals a troubling new insight into the reasons why teens use drugs.The study conducted by the Partnership for a Drug-free America shows that of 6,511 teens, 73% report that school stress and pressure is the main reason for drug use. Ironically, only 7% of parents believe that teens use drugs to cope with stress. Second on the list was to “feel cool” (73%), which was previously ranked in the first position. Another popular reason teens said they use drugs was to “feel better about themselves”(65%).Over the past decade, studies have indicated a steady changing trend in what teens perceive as the motivations for using drugs. The “to have fun” rationales are declining, while motivations to use drugs to solve problems are increasing. On the positive side, the study confirms that overall abuse remains in a steady decline among teens. Marijuana, ecstasy, inhalants, methamphetamine alcohol and cigarette usage continue to decrease. Addit...

Source: Connect with Kids “Studies show that children that are involved in activities and have less time on their hands tend to stay away from drugs easier than kids than kids that have nothing to do after school.” – David Karol Gore, Phd., Psychologist 17-year old Mururi began using drugs at an early age. “I mean it started off only on weekends when I was twelve but by thirteen, I was like, ‘I need to get high man. This is boring.’” Boredom. Researchers at Davidson College studied the affects of cocaine and exercise on rats. They found that when rats get more exercise, they want less cocaine than those who don’t exercise at all. Experts say, in humans, exercise has the same effect on the reward systems of the brain as do drugs. Still, as family psychologist, David Karol Gore explains, the way exercise prevents some kids from using drugs may be as simple as this: “Studies show that children that are involved in activities and have less time on their hands tend to stay away from drugs e...

“My 18 year old is out of control and I am at my wits end! What can I do?” – Anonymous Parent. 18 – 19 year old teens can be the most difficult to address simply because they are considered adults and cannot be forced to get help. As parents, we have limited to no control. Practicing “Tough Love” is easier said than done, many parents cannot let their child reach rock bottom – as parent’s, we see our child suffering – whether it is needing groceries or a roof over their head and it is hard to shut the door on them. I think this is one of the most important reasons that if you are a parent of a 16-17 year old that is out of control, struggling, defiant, using drugs and alcohol, or other negative behavior – I believe it is time to look for intervention NOW. I am not saying it needs to be a residential treatment center or a program out of the home, but at least start with local resources such as therapists that specialize with adolescents and preferable offer support groups. It is unfortu...

As a mother of an ADHD son, I am constantly reminding others that being ADD/ADHD is not a handicap - these kids are highly intelligent! Being a parent we will do what is best for our children, whether it is medication (which to some is controversial) or using specific diets such as the Feingold Program . Either way, we as parents have to find what works best for our families and child. Source: ADDitude Magazine Meet the mothers of three ADHD super-achievers — an Olympic record-breaker, a TV heavyweight, and a world-class adventurer — and learn how they helped their kids beat the odds. What does it take to succeed despite attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD)? It takes hard work, for starters — a willingness to meet challenges head-on. It takes support from family members, teachers, therapists, and coaches. And, of course, it’s hard to overstate the benefits of ADHD medication . But, of all the ingredients needed to make a happy, successful life, nothing is more important than good pare...

Self Injury and Cutting Self abuse (or self mutilation) can come in many forms; most commonly it is associated with cutting, hair pulling or bone breaking, but it can also manifest itself as eating disorders like bulimia, and/or anorexia. This site will focus mainly on cutting, which is the most common form of self abuse, with 72% of all self injurers choosing to do so by cutting themselves, and hair pulling. Cutting is exactly as it sounds; when your teen cuts him or herself as a physical expression to feel emotional pain. There are many reasons why teens injure themselves, but many people assume it’s just ‘for attention’. Often this can be an element of why your teen may be abusing him or her self, but just as often it can be something your teen does privately to express the emotional pain they feel inside. And while self injury is a taboo subject, it is estimated that 3 to 6 million Americans self injure themselves in some way, and that number is on the increase- in fact, its alrea...

Are you a parent of a teenager or pre-teen that is starting to make some poor choices? They are great kids, but suddenly the decisions they are making are worrying you. Is there a new circle of friends that you are not familiar with? Are you at your wit’s end? As the founder of Parent's Universal Resource Experts we speak with parents on a daily basis that are struggling with today's youths. Are you experiencing any of the following situations or feeling at a complete loss or a failure as a parent? You are not alone and by being a proactive parent you are taking the first step towards healing and bringing your family back together. Is your teen escalating out of control ? Is your teen becoming more and more defiant and disrespectful ? Is your teen manipulative ? Running your household? Are you hostage in your own home by your teen’s negative behavior? Is your teen angry, violent or rage outbursts ? Is your teen stealing ? Is your teen verbally abusive ? Is your teen rebellious...

Visit ADDitude's ADHD College Survival Guide John Muscarello had no trouble making the transition to college life , despite his severe attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD). That's because the 20-year-old cultivated good habits while attending high school in Glen Head, New York. "I had an assignment pad where I wrote everything down," he explains. "I also had a big calendar on my bedroom wall. I wrote down upcoming papers and dates, so I always knew what I had going on. I would get home from sports, take a shower, eat dinner, take a pill, and then do all my work." In high school, John handed in papers before they were due. "Teachers would help me revise them," he says, "and I'd hand them in again, when everyone else did." And he cultivated close relationships with faculty members - a strategy he continues at Pennsylvania's York College by e-mailing his professors at the beginning of each semester to introduce himself and explain ...

Discussing sex with your tweens and teens can help them make better choices. Here's how. Temma Ehrenfeld Newsweek Web Exclusive Updated: 10:28 AM ET Jul 31, 2008 What kids think about sex might surprise you, but what they're doing sexually—and when they're doing it—might surprise you even more. In a study this year of more than a 1,000 tweens (kids between the ages 11 and 14), commissioned by Liz Claiborne Inc. and loveisrespect.org, nearly half said they'd had a boy- or girlfriend, and one in four said that oral sex or going "all the way" is part of a tween romance. The parents' view? Only 7 percent of parents surveyed in this study think their own child has gone any further than "making out." The whole subject of sex is so delicate that some parents put off talking to kids about it, believing their child is still too young, or because they're not sure what to say. They "finally sit down to have the Big Talk," says Dr. Mark Schuste...

Source: OnTeensToday.com by Vanessa Van Petten Author of “You’re Grounded!” This is a tricky subject and different for every family, but I truly believe that every kid who wants to get pot, can. Therefore, I always tell parents, it is extremely difficult to try to shield a kid today from being exposed to pot because it is so prominent. I believe parents, and what I do with many of my clients, need to spend their efforts trying to equip kids to make the right choices, so when they are exposed to it, they will choose not to smoke. To be very honest, no matter how strict a curfew you have, how often you drug test your kids, or whether they are an athlete, a scholar or a jock (see Teens Dealing Urine Post), your kid will always find a way to smoke marijuana if they want to. They key is making sure they do not want to. 1) Ask Questions Before you dive into trying to equip them with the power to ‘say no,’ try to gauge their level of involvement. Ask the tough questions. I am not saying to g...