The Blog of P.U.R.E. and Sue Scheff

Internet safety, cyberbullying and bullying is a major concern for people of  all  ages. Whether you’re tween is being harassed online or in school, or maybe a teenager that is being mocked on Facebook or any social media platform, as a parent it’s your job to try to be involved as much as possible. This isn’t always easy, which is probably why it’s topping the highest health concern among parents according to a new national poll. Each year, the  C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll  on Children’s Health asks a national sample of adults to identify health topics that are a “ big problem ” for children and teens. The number one concern parents stated was  cyberbullying/bullying  at  61 percent  with  internet safety  at  55 percent. Communication is key We understand that talking with our children is crucial when it comes to online safety. Are you someone that believes your child is more tech-savvy...

There are many forms of online cruelty. The irony of it is I read so much about youth bullying, and I don't want to diminish that it is an important issue -- but the fact is adults are not only victims  of harassment, they can be the perpetrators too.   As I continue to write about bullying and cyberbullying, it never ceases to amaze me how many different ways people have discovered to hate others -- whether it is on the playground or virtually, peer cruelty doesn't seem to have any limits or boundaries.  Yes, the very people that should be our children's role models (sports figures, celebrities, politicians, teachers, elders, etc... people we should respect ) can be the direct people that are acting like children online or otherwise. We have heard the stories of fat shaming , face shaming, parent shaming (moms judging moms), baby shaming , cyber-shaming and this year I read more about the ugliness of slut shaming  (from adults)....

Is your teen a victim of cyberbullying? Warning signs your teen might be struggling with online harassment: Appears to be sad, angry or even frustrated after texting or online. Avoids wanting to talk about their digital activity. (At which point you should encourage them to get online with you, have them teach you something about social media - a new app, anything to get them talking. Open the lines of communication as much as possible). Suddenly stops using their digital devices. Becomes abnormally withdrawn from activities they typically like. Finds excuses to not be at school or with friends. Drop in grades, underachieving. Have you exhausted your local resources? Local therapy is not working or your teen is refusing to attend or engage? Keep in mind, cyberbullying is a serious emotional concern. Teen's will go back and re-visit the mean post/comment over and over again and obsess on it. They will eventually become extremely distraught and depressed. Some teens have...

It's no longer about a simple mean tweet or harsh comment, we are now dealing with verbal violence and cyber-harassment.    Shame Nation: The Global Epidemic of Online Hate (Sourcebooks) is finally here, make no mistake about it, we're all a click away from digital disaster. With 92% of Americans armed with smartphones -- ready to record your most embarrassing moments. The rise of social media and "always-on connectivity" has broadened the scope of online harassment.  Harassers can be anonymous and reach you 24/7, posting messages and photos that are difficult to erase. Whether in the form of cyberbullying among teens and children, or cyber harassment among adults, online harassment comes in many different forms and can lead to detrimental effects, both emotionally and physically. Fortunately, there are ways that we can protect ourselves, our children, and others from cyberbullying and cyber harassment. There are best practices for online safety, common...

With back to school around the corner, the concern of bullying and cyberbullying is on many parents minds. Whenever you are being harassed or bullied online, especially if virtual violence or otherwise is involved, being able to tell someone is imperative. With younger people we encourage them to tell their parents, however we know at times this can be difficult. They fear their will lose their online privileges or not be taken seriously. In a report by Unicef the majority of adolescents polled said the would turn to a friend, and that’s okay. As long as you tell someone. 54% said they would tell a friend. 48% said they would tell a parent. 19% said they would tell a teacher.

Can you guess what crisis is affecting 25 percent of our children today? It’s not ebola or drug addiction. We can rule out measles and depression, because the answer is not a disease at all. The answer might come as a surprise to many, but  cyberb ullying is hurting one quarter  of our children. Unfortunately, cyberbullying might actually be more prevalent than previous studies have shown. In fact, recent data shows that the  rates of cyberbullying have actually tripled  within the last year!  The newer study estimates that 87 percent of our youth have experienced or been affected by cyberbullying. This is devastating for parents to realize, because all the education and awareness about this issue is not making a huge difference for our tween and teen populations. Tragic Consequences: Cyberbullying Matters October is National Cyberbullying Prevention Month and provides the perfect opportunity to make sure we are helping our families to delete this tre...

Bullying and cyberbullying is an issue that everyone is concerned about.  From verbal abuse to online harassment, words can be used as lethal weapons. On the same measure, words can be used to build people up too! Your words matter, keystrokes count — how will you use them? One of the most important ways your child can be proactive in helping others that are victims of cruel behavior such as bullying, is to become an  upstander . 10 ways to become an upstander by  School Climate : Learn more about mean, cruel, and bullying behavior.  Educate yourself and your community with the resources on  BullyBust.org . For example: Why do kids bully? Where does bullying take place most often in your school? What are the effects of bullying? How can we prevent it? Understanding this information will help you if you are bullied, and will help you to stand up to bullies if a friend or classmate is being bullied. Help others who are being bullied.  Be a frien...

On March 9, 2016 a new series started, The Internet Ruined My Life on the Syfy Network. Though the series is new, we know that keystrokes and cyber-wars have been destroying lives for a long time. “I wish I had never hit send.” “I never knew one Tweet would ruin my life.”  “Everyone wants to be Internet famous.”   Do they? Well, not in the way these stories happened. Have you ever considered what would happen if you become a #hashtag? And I don’t mean a positive one. We have seen many people become victims of viral vomit that have innocently posted something benign that was completely taken out of context. We have seen others that have posted things on what they believed were private forums or groups, or to their limited number of friends or followers — only to have them republished by that one friend that maybe wasn’t really a friend at all.  As a viewer, you watch these cyber-disasters and simply can’t believe they can actually ever happen to you. H...

We have constantly said that although October is Bullying Prevention Month , we also consider it Cyberbullying Prevention Month , we have to continuously discuss awareness and educate our communities on curbing this type of cruelty - both offline and online 365 days a year. The fact is bullying is no longer limited to our playgrounds, school hallways, bathrooms or even the cafeterias - these bullies follow your kids home electronically through their devices. This is why it is imperative to continue to learn as much as you can about online abuse as well as offline. This past October we had some great experts, advocates and educators that contributed to helping parents, students and others learn more. I want to share some of my favorites here, as well as some that I have written for this month... there are many others, be sure to continue to share them on Twitter with me at @SueScheff or on Facebook. How Empathy, Kindness and Compassion Can Build Belongingness and Reduce Bully...

Bullying has changed from the days of taking someone’s lunch money or giving them a swirly in the bathroom. Now, children are much more likely to engage in cyberbullying, or the use of electronic communication to bully a person. In fact, 20-30% of today’s children will be cyberbullied, and 10-20% of students will be cyberbullies. However, it can be tricky for a parent to figure out if their child is experiencing cyberbullying; more than half of the children who experience cyberbullying do not tell their parents about it. And while around 55% of teens report having observed bullying behavior online, 95% report ignoring the behavior when it was observed. There are a few tell-tale signs that can give clues that your child might be engaged in cyberbullying. For example long periods and odd hours of internet use, or changes in a child’s patterns of internet use, can signify cyberbullying. A child engaging in cyberbullying behavior might also become upset if their internet usage is co...

The Bully. No one is immune to online harassment.  No matter what your age, race or religion – you can quickly fall victim to vicious keystrokes within seconds. According to a Cox Communications Survey, 81 percent of young people think bullying online is easier to get away with than bullying in person.  This makes sense since cowards use the easy way of not facing their victims through a screen – whether it is a cellphone or computer. About   58 percent   of kids admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than 4 out 10 say it has happened more than once. 90 percent   of teens who have seen social media bullying say they have ignored it. 84 percent have seen others tell cyberbullies to stop. Only   1 in 10 victims   will inform a parent or trusted adult of their abuse, this needs to turn around.  When a child holds this emotional pain inside of them, it can come out in many different negative ways such as sadne...

The power of a word is underestimated. This is why we, as a society, have to take online harassment seriously. Bullying doesn't discriminate. No one is immune to cyberbullying . From schools to workplaces to playing fields to cyberspace -- at any age, you can become a victim of vicious keystrokes and harsh words. Crumpled is the name of a video created by a group of students that are on a mission to Delete Negativity on Social Media with the #iCANHELP Campaign . The video speaks for itself, the message is powerful and one you need to pass on to others. These students call themselves The Positive Warriors ! It started when someone created a fake Facebook page to make fun of a teacher at their school. Instead of retaliating with cruelty, they decided to come back with kindness by spreading positive messages throughout social media and their school. This crusade has spread through 100 schools in their state of California. Their goal is to go national. Will...

By Randy Nathan Experts agree that bullying is a national epidemic and impacts hundreds of thousands of lives across the country. This book uncovers the prevalence of bullying in sports by identifying the behavior. It calls out those who are involved in enabling the culture and the matter in which it is being used, and what can be done to stand up against this conduct. Bullying in Sports offers a comprehensive approach that openly acknowledges the bullying in sports and identifies the breeding ground that inculcates athletes into a certain mindset that spills over into the classroom, hallways, and bathrooms. Chapters offer strategies and tactics on how to put policies into action. Furthermore, this book offers an important paradigm shift that has the ability and potential to completely transform our bullying programs and strategies. Order today on Amazon.

Do you know your school's bullying policy? As school will be opening, unfortunately we may start hearing about the ugliness of bullying and teasing of kids.  Many, if not most, schools have employed an anti-bullying policies and programs.  But what happens if they don’t work? A special guest post from Blair Wagner of A Way Through helps sort through this dilemma. Why Anti-bullying Programs Miss the Mark As I direct my focus to a new school year about to begin, I reflect back on the past school year and the approaches I’ve seen schools take to address school bullying among their students and their staff.  The one that really misses the mark is starting an anti-bullying program. It is common for us to see something we don’t like and to join an anti-[fill in the blank] campaign.  We talk about, write about, and complain about how bad it is.  Our focus is on resisting the thing we don’t like, in this case bullying.  We push agains...

Recent events have revealed just how rampant and cruel the bullying problem has become. The days of letting kids work things out by themselves or encouraging them to hash things out by the playground are long gone, as these strategies are proving to be much more dangerous than they once were. One thing is certain — parents play a huge role in the school bullying solution. Whether your kid is the aggressor or the victim, your words and support may be the most important tools in solving the problem. Here are 10 ways parents can prevent bullying: Talk to Your Kids : You may talk to your kids about homework, grades and school activities every day, but there are bigger issues happening in school that deserve to be discussed, as well. Bullying is a serious topic that parents and kids seem to skirt over far too often. An effective way to prevent bullying is to talk to your children about bullying. Depending on your relationship with your child and their willingness to share, y...