The Blog of P.U.R.E. and Sue Scheff

Source: About.com When your preteen first starts middle school they may be facing real peer pressure for the first time. Experimenting with smoking, drugs and skipping school does start at this age. This is because these recently elementary school graduates want to fit in with the older crowd. Here are some things you can do to help your preteen be prepare for when they are asked to do something that they normally wouldn't do. Be the first to say something. If you haven't talked to your preteen about drugs, smoking or anything else they could be facing because they haven't had to face that problem yet, talk to them now! Don't avoid it until it becomes a problem or you start to see "signs". Be proactive with your preteen. Role play . Let your preteen be the one who offers you a cigarette. This will be an eye opening experience. Say no and keep saying no. When you preteen says, "I couldn't say that", ask them what they could say or do. Then role ...

As a parent that has an ADHD child, I know firsthand the pros and cons of RX meds for children. It was a major decision for us to choose medication, however it was the best choice for my son. Each child and family are different. I believe it is best to have a second opinion, like I said, making this decision is major. Since I speak with parents I know that many have concerns with their teens abusing this medication - selling it at school or even purchasing it to get a high. Be an educated parent - learn more about the medications used for ADD/ADHD. Source: Connect with Kids “In a way that athletes have used steroids and other medications in the past to enhance their athletic performance, Adderall is actually being used to kind of pseudo-enhance their academic performance.” – Heather Hayes, M.Ed., Counselor. Nineteen-year-old Marisa McCorkle has been using Adderall for two years. “I use it for various reasons,” she says, “like tests, it helps me on tests. [A...

I just read the most lovely and educational book called Grumble Bluff by Karen Bessey Pease . This tale tells of two young girls in that difficult and awkward stage of tweens - one is overweight and one has a horrific and painful situation she is living with. Both are bullied and teased relentlessly. Even reading how some kids are so mean made me feel so sad and angry on the inside. If you are a parent of a teen or tween - buy this book today - read it and have your child read it. You will feel warm inside at the end and then anxious for the second book. Kathy and Greta (characters) will become part of your family too - and what a great way to open lines of communication between you and your kids.

The January Safe Teen Driving Newsletter January 2009 is here! Here's Where You'll Find Answers: How to Keep Your Teen DriverSafe, Secure & Protected There's an epidemic in the US that's taking the lives of our youngsters. Driving fatalities are the number one cause of death among youngsters age 15 to 20. Driving crashes surpass suicide, homicide and all other causes. Over 300,000 teens are admitted to hospital ER's each year -- many with life-changing injuries. Among licensed drivers, young people have the highest fatal crash rate of any age group. What's more distressing, teens at age 16 are twice as likely to die in fatal car crashes as 18 to 19 year old teens. This is largely due to their youth and lack of experience behind the wheel. We know your life is busy. We're here to give you the support, help, information and services you need to keep your youngster safe...in a quick, easy-to-use format. Parents tell us they're concerned about issues lik...

Vanessa Van Petten continues to bring valuable information for parents with today’s teens. This week she has dedicated to helping prevent cyberbullying. Partners for CyberBully Awareness Campaign : Thank you to everyone who is already offered to join and spread the word about our anti-cyberbullying campaign here at On Teens Today : Angeline of MomStyleNews Vivien Bruss of Cool Moms Rule Brenda Preston of Safewave Sue Scheff of Help Your Teens Myrna of TangerineTimes.com Tara Paterson of the Mom’s Choice Awards and Just for Mom Karen Pease

D.A.R.E. - Drug Abuse Resistance Education has been known for many years and has helped been part of many schools in helping children learn the dangers of drug abuse . As a parent, take some time to review their newly updated information and website. It is important that parents and educators work together to help prevent drug use. Source: D.A.R.E. Official Website This year millions of school children around the world will benefit from D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education), the highly acclaimed program that gives kids the skills they need to avoid involvement in drugs, gangs , and violence . D.A.R.E. was founded in 1983 in Los Angeles and has proven so successful that it is now being implemented in 75 percent of our nation’s school districts and in more than 43 countries around the world. D.A.R.E . is a police officer-led series of classroom lessons that teaches children from kindergarten through 12th grade how to resist peer pressure and live productive drug and violence-free l...

Teens suffering from depression and related illnesses like anxiety and bipolar disorder find it very difficult to even make New Year’s resolutions, let alone keep them. Depression and its relatives very quickly tend to overwhelm teens. When faced with the idea of change depressed teens often see a mountain so huge that it seemingly can never be climbed or chiseled slowly into a molehill. They quickly feel overwhelmed and often respond with some thought or statement like, “It’s too big. I’ll never be able to do it… so why bother to even try.” The teen then falls deeper into their pit of despair. One of the first things that the depression “steals” from the depressed teen is their ability to take large, seemingly impossible tasks and break them into smaller, manageable pieces. Most of us take this ability for granted and practice this making of mountains into manageable molehills everyday. Depressed teens want to change. They want healing. They just don’t see a way over the mountain. Th...

Recently I am noticing more and more parents are stepping up and talking about their issues, concerns, frustrations as well as sharing ideas and tips they have used in raising their children. All in all, it is about parents helping parents. Years ago when I struggled with my daughter, I felt so alone - and it was such a hush hush mentality. We were all so determined to prove our kids were nearly perfect! Oh, so smart and athletic or gifted and talented in some way. In today's generation of raising children it is become more challenging. Here are a few Blogs on Parenting that could help you help your child: Van's Mom - Exploring and dealing with an ADHD and ODD daughter. Tangerine Times - Myrna's parenting tips on the sweet and sour times of teens. Phil's Blog - Why physical education is so critical to children today in highly techy times. Inhalant Abuse Blog - Parents educate other parents on the dangers of many home products. Love Our Children Blog - Helping ke...

O-kay, I am in Florida and have a soft spot for oranges and tangerines, but when I discovered a new Parenting Website that promotes today’s teen issues and parents concerns, I had to share it with you. Tangerine Times , created by Myrna Lantzsch , offers a variety of Parenting Tips, Articles, Blogs and more. Her motto: The Sweet and Sour Life with Teens. Recently Myrna wrote about Teens and Texting while Driving - and this is huge concern for many of us. We are hearing more and more how car accidents due to cell phone use are increasing, and we need to educate our teens of the dangers of using their phones while driving. Here is her follow up article: In an effort to provide additional information and updates on the subject of “Texting While Driving” post - I discovered this story on Salon.com. In the article, they discuss other technologies to aide with the “disabling” of a cell phone for texting purposes. Both of the companies discussed, (WQN, Inc. and Aegis Mobility) both utilize th...

A time for Unity. A time for Hope. A time for Family . A time for CHANGE .

What an exciting week we have ahead of us! It is amazing how today’s youths are getting involved in politics and taking the initiative to learn all they can. This is not only a historical time for our country, there is a feeling of unity among all people of all ages. This can also a great time to spend with your kids and explain the importance of this upcoming week. How do you feel? Do your kids truly understand the history of this moment? This is a perfect opportunity to have family time and excitement as well as creating lasting memories. Below is an article Connect with Kids posted back in June outlining how teens really took part in this past election. Again, an exciting time in history! Source: Connect with Kids “When parents talk about politics with their kids, when they participate themselves — this leads to a higher level of interest in politics among their children,” – Dr. Alan Abramowitz, Political Science Professor, Emory University Nineteen-year-old Will Kelly is pounding t...

As second semester is open, the phones are ringing and the parents have a common thread, their teens are not going to school! Skipping classes and already talking about dropping out. Truancy is a term used to describe any intentional unauthorized absence from compulsory schooling. Children in America today lose over five million days of their education each year through truancy. Often times they do this without the knowledge of their parents or school officials. In common usage the term typically refers to absences caused by students of their own free will, and usually does not refer to legitimate “excused” absences, such as ones related to a medical condition. It may also refer to students who attend school but do not go to classes. Because of this confusion many schools have their own definitions, and as such the exact meaning of the term itself will differ from school to school and district to district. In order to avoid or diminish confusion, many schools explicitly define the term...

With today’s economic situation, it is becoming more difficult for parents to secure finances to assist with the high fees of residential therapy. Here is a list of some possible avenues. Many banks have raised their standards for qualifications (requiring a higher FICO score) among other requests. Some banks have literally stopped participating in Educational Loans. Financial Options Have you recently discovered the high costs of Boarding Schools, Military Schools , Therapeutic Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, Wilderness Programs and other avenues of academic and emotional growth assistance? For the average middle class family the fees can be staggering. Even people of means can have sticker price shock at the tuition of these programs. Due to the extensive costs of operating these specialty schools with the appropriate licenses, credentialed staff as well as certified educational accreditations, it is extremely expensive. The average cost of private Therapeutic Boardi...

TEENSHEALTH answers and advice for parents of teens. Learn more about teen drug use , substance abuse , bullying , cyberbullying , peer pressure, sex education and more! Learn more at this comprehensive parenting website.

Years ago, most of us would never consider dropping out of high school. Today more and more teens are anxious to reach 16 years old (age of majority in most states to withdraw from high school). Parents should be concerned about this, many more teens are getting GED’s and diploma’s are not their priority. Years ago, GED’s were frowned upon - and only those with extreme exceptions would get a GED. Now it seems more and more are falling back on this option. Take a moment to read this article with parenting tips to help your teen graduate from High School with a diploma. Source: Connect with Kids Expectations are a very important tool in trying to improve performance. If you don’t set goals, you won’t feel bad, but neither will you achieve high goals.” – Randall Flanery, Ph.D., psychologist Nationally, 70 percent of students graduate on time with a high school diploma. That leaves 30 percent struggling to finish and often dropping out of school. Many school districts have found innovative...

As many parents are concerned about their kids smoking cigarettes, and in reality, most will at least try it. We can lecture them endlessly, and we should in a constructive manner, but being proactive in getting them educated on the harm it can cause their body, not to mention it can lead to addiction of nicotine should be our goal. Connect with Kids recently released an article on Anti-Smoking Advocacy with great parenting tips to help deal with your child if they have decided to start smoking. Even if your child is not smoking or experimenting, take the time to learn more. Today’s peer pressure can be very difficult for kids trying to fit into certain crowds. Anti-Smoking Advocacy “It’s bad for your health and if you smoke, you’re going to get lung cancer. I doubt that there’s 5 percent of kids out there who haven’t already heard that message. That in and of itself is not enough to influence or change their behavior.” – Andy Lord, American Cancer Society Two years ago, when Ashley w...

It stems back to "children need to have their self-esteem built up to make good decisions." Today most families are either single parent or both parents are working full time. This is not the fault of the teen, nor is it the fault of the parents. It is today's world and we must try to find the middle. Troubled teens, rebellious teens, angry teens, problem teens, difficult teens, depressed teens; unfortunately are part of the society of adolescents today. Communication is always the first to go when people get busy. We have seen this over and over again. We have also experienced it and feel that our children shut us out; this can lead to difficult teens and teens with problems. Although we are tired and exhausted, along with the stress of today's life, we need to stop and take a moment for our kids. Talk and LISTEN to them. Ask lots of questions, get to know their friends and their friend’s parents, take part in their interests, be supportive if they are having a hard...

As a victim and survivor of the wicked web (at times), I was vindicated at a jury trial for damages when I was awarded over $11M for the defamatory comments posted about me. I credit my attorney, David Pollack , for successfully proving to the jury how I was damaged (defamed) online. Remember, free speech does not condone defamation. What happens after the jury goes home and I have my $ 11.3M judgment ? Well, you get a lot of media attention, new stalkers arrive, you become a Limited Public Figure (something I was not prior this major victory), and before you know it - you are the face of Internet Defamation Survivor. However what it doesn’t do is erase the ugliness the perpetrator did to you online. For that, I sought out the services of Reputation Defender . O-kay, so you can’t literally erase all the unflattering online statements - but you can start filling the web with who you really are - and what you believe in. I used ReputationDefender MyEdge - which is a priceless service f...

As a mother of an ADHD son, I know the struggles and difficulties adolescents can bring. ADDitude Magazine has some great parenting tips, ideas and information to help you today. Source: ADDitude Magazine ADHD behavior issues often partner with oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) -- making discipline a challenge. Try these strategies for parents of ADD kids. Every parent of a child with attention deficit disorder knows what it's like to deal with ADHD behavior problems -- sometimes a child lashes out or refuses to comply with even the most benign request. But about half of all parents who have children with live with severe behavior problems and discipline challenges on an almost daily basis. Read Entire Article Here.

Self abuse (or self mutilation) can come in many forms; most commonly it is associated with cutting, hair pulling or bone breaking, but it can also manifest itself as eating disorders like bulimia, and/or anorexia. This site will focus mainly on cutting, which is the most common form of self abuse, with 72% of all self injurers choosing to do so by cutting themselves, and hair pulling. Cutting is exactly as it sounds; when your teen cuts him or herself as a physical expression to feel emotional pain. There are many reasons why teens injure themselves, but many people assume it’s just ‘for attention’. Often this can be an element of why your teen may be abusing him or her self, but just as often it can be something your teen does privately to express the emotional pain they feel inside. And while self injury is a taboo subject, it is estimated that 3 to 6 million Americans self injure themselves in some way, and that number is on the increase- in fact, its already doubled in the past t...

As the new year has started, parents need to become more educated and informed about today's teens and the issues they face. Many parents know about substance abuse , and teach our kids to say no to drugs - but do you know about Inhalants ? Ordinary household items that can be lethal to teens looking for a quick and inexpensive high? More importantly, sometimes deadly high. Parent learn more about Inhalant Abuse . Here is a great " talking tips " page from The Alliance for Consumer Education (ACE) - take the time to learn more today. You could save a child's life.

Are you a parent struggling with a teen today? Are you at your wit's end? Troubled by the defiance and negative behavior your teen is displaying? Lack respect for authority - for YOU -the parent? Know you are not alone ! Almost a decade ago I went the very same feelings of isolation, hostage to my own home and watching my good teen turn into a person I hardly recognized! Read the online story of A Parent's True Story . I created P.U.R.E. ( Parents' Universal Resource Experts, Inc .) in hopes of helping other parents learn from my mistakes and gain from my knowledge . I was almost silenced when the massive organization ( WWASPS/Carolina Springs Academy ) sued me - but I fought back and the truth prevailed. I won all legal actions! When they lost on all counts including in the Supreme Court (I had a jury trial victory) my next hurdle was defeating the negative Internet Slander and Defamation. You see, when you can't defeat someone legally - the Internet has become the nex...

Sue Scheff – Founder of Parents’ Universal Resource Experts and Author of Wit’s End! Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-Of-Control Teen Offers 10 Parenting Quick Tips for 2009 1. Communication: Keeping the lines of communication of your child should be a priority with all parents. It is important to let your kids know you are always there for them no matter what the subject is. If there is a subject you are not comfortable with, please be sure your child has someone they can open up to. I believe that when kids keep things bottled up, it can be when negative behaviors can start to grow. 2. Knowing your Children’s Friends: This is critical, in my opinion. Who are your kids hanging out with? Doing their homework with? If they are spending a lot of time at a friends house, go out of your way to call the parent introduce yourself. Especially if they are spending the night at a friends house, it important to take time to call the parents or...