The Blog of P.U.R.E. and Sue Scheff

The day has arrived when many are getting ready to bring in the new year and have plans to do it in their own way.  Many include alcohol a way to celebrate, and as although underage drinking is illegal, it is a fact many teens will be drinking. As a parent, what can you do?  Communication is always key, reminding them of the dangers of drinking and driving and the fact that buzzed driving is drunk driving.  Parents may want to be in denial that their teen would consume alcohol or other substances that impair them, but remember, never say never.  Always be proactive, never stop talking about it. AAA Auto Club South and Anheuser-Busch, Inc . are joining hands to provide “ Tow to Go ” to provide a confidential ride home and tow, free of charge , to anyone who may have had too much to drink by calling 1-800-AAA-HELP (4357) in Florida (including Jacksonville) and Georgia.  Print this out and give it to a loved one that is going out tonight...

New Year's Eve is upon us and whether you are planning on going out or staying home it is important to know and  understand that buzzed driving is drunk driving .  They kill equally and destroy families in the same way. Last year, an average of 62 people died in alcohol-impaired driving crashes each day over the New Year’s holiday.  Don't become a statistic and don't cause one. Show your support to end buzzed driving by pledging to make good decisions by not driving under the influence of alcohol. Take the time to share the pledge with others and with your help, we can end buzzed driving. I'm going to be smart; I won't drive while buzzed.   Even just one too many drinks can impair my driving and lead to devastating consequences. It's just not worth it. Buzzed driving is drunk driving so I'm going to make sure I make responsible choices that don't endanger myself and others. - Sue Scheff   Isn't it time you took the pledge? ...

Jealousy isn't only an emotion that teens will experience, many adults have jealous or envious moments in their life. However when jealousy starts to prevent your own happiness and causes you emotional distress, it may be the time to look deeper into what is causing this. Teens will usually experience jealousy with their peers - whether it is a friend that has a family of means, or a popular teen that was blessed with the looks of a supermodel, jealousy and envy can become a point of contention and sadness. Many people feel jealous from time to time. Jealousy is easy to deal with, once you understand what it's teaching you.  This can be complicated, however it can also be a learning experience that will end up benefiting you or your teen. A recent study in the journal Developmental Psycholog y found that adolescents who experience low self-esteem and extreme loneliness tend to worry that friendships are threatened by others, causing jealousy that can lead ...

Parenting is probably one of the hardest jobs there is. During the holidays the added stress can cause contention as well as family disputes . However if you are dealing with an at-risk teenager, a teen that was already struggling down a negative path - maybe experimenting with drugs or hanging with a less than desirable peer group or has failed their first semester of school, holiday times can be more strenuous. Dealing with troubled teens at any time of the year is not easy, it is a challenge.  Dealing with troubled teens during the holidays can be double the trouble.  With time off from school, many families have both parents working with limited supervision at home which leaves many teens on their own.  Have you checked your medicine cabinets lately? Parents' Universal Resource Experts , founded in Broward County, has been helping families with teens in trouble for almost a decade.  One of the common threads is during the holiday...

Facts about drug and alcohol use amongst teenagers: The average age of first use is 13 years old Every day 4,000 teens try an illicit drug for the first time Every day 2,500 teens abuse a prescription drug for the first time The good news is that parents – and other caring adults – do matter, and can make a difference. Parents360 increases parents’ understanding and confidence in preventing and addressing drug and alcohol issues. So many times we hear parents claim their teen would not do drugs, it is their friends.  At the same time, don't we preach to our kids we are who we hang out with?   Parenting is challenging - however it is a challenge we never can give up on. DrugFree.org continues their campaign to educate parents, teachers, communities and kids about the dangers of substance abuse.  In addition to their Above the Influence campaign, they also added PACT360 which offers community education and research based assistance to schools, parents and c...

During this festive season of holiday parties, luncheons and dinners, some adult may over-indulge.  Whether it is food or drinking, going over your usually limit with treats is common when celebrating. However, when it comes to your teens, you need to be an example to them .  Holiday cheer can be fun without the high intake of alcohol. Alcohol Facts: (Booze) What is It? Alcohol is created when grains, fruits, or vegetables are fermented, a process that uses yeast or bacteria to change the sugars in the food into alcohol. Alcohol has different forms and can be used as a cleaner or antiseptic; however the kind of alcohol that people drink is ethanol, which is a sedative. When alcohol is consumed, it's absorbed into a person's bloodstream. From there, it affects the central nervous system (the brain and spinal cord), which controls virtually all body functions. Alcohol actually blocks some of the messages trying to get to the brain. This alters a person's per...

Most everyone knows that right behind find that perfect gift for the person that has everything, a teenager can be just as difficult to buy for. Different from the the person that has everything (they usually have money too), a teen will love the cold cash !  Forget the gift cards, rip-up the checks, and good old fashion cash is gold to them. There is a thought process many parents have that our teens will not be responsible with the cash.  That may be true, however do you realize how many gift cards are not used or not used to their full value?  A lot! Although gift cards are definitely an easier gift to give, especially now that you can purchase them in most grocery stores and department stores such as Walmart, be sure the recipient will use the entire card - a little reminder doesn't hurt. One of the more frequent issues teens have with gift cards is remembering to use them.  How many have you found when cleaning your teens bedroom - or better ye...

Being bullied into silence. Not me. Are you at your wit's end and desperately searching the Internet for help for your out of control teen? Is your child a good teen making some very bad choices ? Failing in school? Underachieving? Defiant? Runaway ? Teen drug use ? Teen drinking? Are you considering a Residential Treatment Center ( RTC ), Therapeutic Boarding School (TBS), Emotional Growth Program, Behavioral Modification Program , Wilderness Program , etc? As a Parent Advocate , I founded my organization after struggling with my own teenage daughter. My story has been widely read and published by Health Communications, Inc - original home of Chicken Soup for the Soul book series. My daughter was harmed at Carolina Springs Academy. I won a court battle in 2004 proving my allegations against World Wide Association of Specialty Programs ( WWASPS - the umbrella that Carolina Springs Academy fell under) and what they did to my daughter and the deception I endured. It...

As many schools will be off for the holiday break, and many more college students will be driving home, have they taken the time to be sure their car is ready for the road? We get busy with our shopping, packing, cooking, party planning - but do you take the same diligence with your automobile? FACT: A growing body of research indicates that close parental management of teen drivers can lead to less risky driving behavior, fewer traffic tickets, and fewer crashes. FACT: In 2008, about 3,500 teens in the United States aged 15-19 were killed in motor-vehicle crashes. FACT: Just like reviewing a school report card for good grades, using the CarCheckup system will allow your teen to prove that they are a safe and responsible driver. FACT :  Teens are more likely than older drivers to underestimate dangerous situations or not be able to recognize hazardous situations. FACT:   In 2008, half of teen deaths from motor vehicle crashes occurred between 3 p...

Whether you are a teen or an adult, the effects of a cyber stalker or cyberbully can be emotionally devastating. For adults, especially professionals and business owners, it can be financially destructive. As a victim and survivor of a cyber stalker, as well as the target of cyberbullies, I know firsthand how difficult and stressful it can be. Initially you are shocked – wondering who these people are? Why are they doing this? In many situations, you don’t even know the perpetrator, but they certainly believe they know you! In 2006 in Broward County Florida, a landmark case for Internet Defamation and Invasion of Privacy . It was a jury verdict of over $11M for damages done to my organization, Parents’ Universal Resource Experts and myself. ( www.helpyourteens.com ) I was literally bombarded with what are called “Google bombs” – and worse than that, they would attack my friends. My friends would try to fight back and the more you debate these people (stalkers...

It is true – most parents are aware of ADD/ADHD from the time their child is a toddler and someone is making statements about your child being possibly ADD/ADHD.  It is a label that is used quite frequently, and as a parent of an ADHD son, I am familiar with it.  However, I do believe it is over-used too.  A new study is linking ADHD with adolescent depression.  This is a very interesting article that Connect with Kids just posted. Source: Connect with Kids “I try to do something, but I can’t because of the ADD, and it frustrates me. Then that makes me very nervous and anxious and that goes to the anxiety. And then when I get like that, I’ll go ‘Oh my god! I can’t do anything! I can’t do anything!’ And that leads to the depression.” – Ariel, 20 New research published in the Archives of General Psychiatry shows that children with ADHD are at an increased risk for depression and suicidal thoughts — and very well may need treatment for both....

Parent denial is probably one of the most common threads many teens have while they are smoking a joint or popping a pill - even downing the cough syrup.  Many parents think their teen is not the bad child - it is the ones they are hanging with - or simply doesn't exist. Being a parent in denial doesn't help anyone, not even the parent.  Since eventually it does catch up with you and you find yourself dealing with a teen that is escalating out of control. With the holidays here, there will be more free time for our teens.  Will they be home alone?  Are you familiar with over the counter (OTC) drug abuse?  Get informed, stay informed and talk to your teens. Teens who learn a lot about the dangers of drugs from their parents are half as likely to abuse drugs. For three years Five Moms has taken on the fight of spreading awareness and educating parents, schools and communities .  One of the moms asked to have her message passed on: My name i...

When it comes to parenting your teenagers it is never too late or too often to talk about the dangers of drug use . Many parents will ignore the warning signs or make excuses for them , but when reality hits home that your teen is using drugs, it is critical you get involved.  Communication is always key to prevention, however there are times when your teen is no longer listening.  It doesn’t mean you stop talking. Intervention starts at home. If you suspect drug use , talk to your teen.  If they admit to using drugs, and are determined not to quit or even tell you they can quit if they want, take it to the next level.  Seek out local adolescent therapy or counseling.  In some cases this will be a brickwall but in other situations it can be the beginning of understanding why your teen is turning to substance abuse . If your teen escalates to a level that is uncontrollable, or simply defiant to all your rules and boundaries – and most ...

Jason O'Neill A very popular article on Examiner is about Teens that Inspire . Especially at holiday time it is always nice to hear "good news." Here is an open letter from one of the many teens that inspire, Jason O'Neill : Time is running out. December 4th is the deadline to donate to give teddy bears to kids at Rady Children’s Hospital in San Diego, CA this Christmas. Last year, with the help of people around the world, I raised $5,130 which enabled me to buy 1800 teddy bears for the kids. I was hoping to top that amount this year but we have a long way to go in a short amount of time. If you are able to donate, every dollar counts. 100% of the money raised goes toward buying the bears. I use my own money for shipping, PayPal transaction fees, and any other miscellaneous expenses. With any amount donated, your name will be added to my website fundraiser page. Thank you to those who helped last year and who have already donated this year. Everything i...

With the expanding Internet we hear more about identity theft and fraud.  Teaching our teens about the dangers of identity theft as well as how to protect their private information is part of parenting. Fraud Facts: Your bank will never email or call you for your account number.  Talk to your teen about not giving out their account numbers, PIN's or their social security number. Don't wire money to people you don't know.  With the growing social networks and online shopping, teens have to beware of all scams that can involve wire transfers. Check out the company with the Better Business Bureau.  Although there may be many businesses that are not members, you can do a simply Internet Search to detect if there are any valid issues against a business.  There are no legitimate jobs that involve reshipping items or financial instruments from you home. Foreign lotteries are illegal in teh U.S. You can't win money no matter what they say to you. Check...

Believe it or not, some teens do in fact want to remain virgins until marriage. If you are part of this group and have managed to survive high school with your virginity still intact, then you have completed a huge accomplishment. But you will learn early on that during college you will be faced with a variety of different challenges that might make your vow of celibacy hard to keep. But there are some easy and practical ways that you can remain a virgin in college. The first thing you need to do is know your limits. If you wish to remain a virgin, this doesn't mean that you have to cast off the opposite sex indefinitely, but you do need to be open about your desire to remain a virgin and set your limits. As cliché as it may sound, many lose their virginities because they were "caught up in the heat of the moment." So it's best not to put yourself into a situation that could jeopardize your virginity. For example, if you have no intentions of surpassing passionate ki...

Recent events have revealed just how rampant and cruel the bullying problem has become. The days of letting kids work things out by themselves or encouraging them to hash things out by the playground are long gone, as these strategies are proving to be much more dangerous than they once were. One thing is certain — parents play a huge role in the school bullying solution. Whether your kid is the aggressor or the victim, your words and support may be the most important tools in solving the problem. Here are 10 ways parents can prevent bullying: Talk to Your Kids : You may talk to your kids about homework, grades and school activities every day, but there are bigger issues happening in school that deserve to be discussed, as well. Bullying is a serious topic that parents and kids seem to skirt over far too often. An effective way to prevent bullying is to talk to your children about bullying. Depending on your relationship with your child and their willingness to share, y...

Teen depression is a serious concern that can lead to tragic results if not treated.  According to a new study from Duke/John Hopkins University , nearly half of teens who suffer a severe episode are back in depression within a few years of their initial recovery.  Also noted in this new study finds that depression affects an estimated 6 percent of U.S. teen girls and nearly as many teen boys. Nearly all (96 percent) of the 196 teenagers in the study either improved or fully recovered after an initial depressive episode, but 47 percent had one or more subsequent depressive episodes in an average of two years. As the holidays approach, it is a time that suicides among adults and teens will increase. It is critical to be aware of your teenagers feelings and activities.  For reasons that are not clearly understood, girls were more likely to have repeated bouts of depression, with nearly 60 percent of them suffering subsequent depressive episodes after reco...

When it comes to parenting your teenagers it is never too late or too often to talk about the dangers of drug use . Many parents will ignore the warning signs or make excuses for them , but when reality hits home that your teen is using drugs, it is critical you get involved.  Communication is always key to prevention, however there are times when your teen is no longer listening.  It doesn't mean you stop talking. Intervention starts at home.   If you suspect drug use , talk to your teen.  If they admit to using drugs, and are determined not to quit or even tell you they can quit if they want, take it to the next level.  Seek out local adolescent therapy or counseling.  In some cases this will be a brickwall but in other situations it can be the beginning of understanding why your teen is turning to substance abuse . If your teen escalates to a level that is uncontrollable, or simply defiant to all your rules and boundaries - and most imp...

Experts all over agree that starting a day with a healthy meal, whether it is cereal, oatmeal, eggs, toast or other foods - with a splash of juice , can give you a jumpstart to a good day! Mornings are one of the busiest times for families, but a happy, healthy start can set the tone for the day ahead.  Parenting expert and author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions , Dr. Michele Borba offers simple solutions to help families step back from the morning chaos and make their mornings more meaningful. Rise and Shine:   Wake your kids with a mantra that is unique to them and their activities. If your child has a big baseball game, wake them up with their mitt on your hand or by singing “take me out to the ballgame.”  Even including a fun routine for younger children, such as sock puppets, can make waking up more enjoyable and special.   Race to Get Ready: Challenge your kids to a “race to get ready.” Set a time goal for each child, if they get dressed a...