The Blog of P.U.R.E. and Sue Scheff

The stress parenting combined with Internet confusion. As a parent advocate I am always receiving emails and phone calls on a variety of schools and programs from parents and students that have first hand experiences. My personal experiences are with Carolina Springs Academy that is now closed -- I have heard it is reopened as Seneca Ranch . WWASPS (Worldwide Association of Specialty Programs and Schools) is the umbrella  organization that runs these programs.They also have others in the United States - at last glance there was Red River Academy, LA, Cross Creek, UT, River View, UT, Midwest Academy, IA, and you never know when more will pop-up in different names. Diamond Ranch Academy , sadly, though I don't have first hand experiences, I am receiving more negative feedback about them.  I wrote about them in June 2012 - and since then it is not getting much better. After speaking with several parents, that are looking for placement for their struggling teenag...

Holiday blues isn't only about adults, teens can struggling with depression too. Teen suicide is a very real concern. Sometimes parents will believe that their behavior is typical teen "stuff", but in reality it their child is deeply hurting. I fully understand that many parents hesitate wanting to consider residential therapy over the holidays , however you have to think about your child's future.  Once Christmas, one New Year's Eve, one  Easter compared to the rest of their life is worth getting your teen's emotional health back. Some warning signs: Withdrawn, secretive Change of appetitie Change of friends, or no friends  Sadness Poor performance in school: grades are dropping Rage, defiance, disrespectfulness Frequent headaches, stomach aches Check their arms, legs, stomach for scarring (cutting) Check their social media sites for writing about death and other dark comments Learn more from http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ ...

Would you know if your teen or child was being groomed by an online predator? Did you know: More than 500,000 predators are online everyday Kids 12 to 15 are susceptible to being groomed and manipulated by offenders online FBI stats show that more than 50% of victims of online sexual exploitation are 12-15 years old 89 % of all sexual advances towards our children take place in internet chat rooms and through instant messaging In (27%) of exploitation incidents, predators asked kids for sexual photographs of themselves. 4% of kids get “aggressive” sexual solicitations that included attempts to contact the kids offline How can you help protect your kids from online threats?  Communication is key.  Talk to your kids about sexual predators and potential online dangers. Use family safety settings that are built into Windows 8 , Windows 7 , and Windows Vista . Follow age limits on social networking websites. Most social networking sites require that users b...

Be careful where you click into! I was made aware that the program that used to be Carolina Springs Academy, where my daughter was harmed, was just re-opened as Seneca Ranch in Due West, SC. As a parent advocate , I encourage parents to do their due diligence when researching programs for their teenager. The Internet is full of wonderful websites and toll-free numbers that will sell you many things. When it comes to your child, learn to separate the Internet fact from the Internet fiction.  There will always be those forums of slander - former institutionalized kids that believed they were wronged by the system - and many still don't have relationships with their family. Though I feel for them, I also understand that there are many good programs in our country - as well as a handful of not so good ones.  You will never please everyone, however when you have the same repetitive stories over and over - from different kids at different times from different parts of the...

There was a day you gave birth to a child that you believed was your heart and soul and you would protect that child from all the bad things in this world.   From infancy to toddler to elementary school and hanging that beautiful finger painting artwork up on your refrigerator door, the joy and pride of parenthood kept growing. Then we start the tweenage era.   That middle-school itch.   The peer pressure, the "where do I belong" and "who will be my friend" in the lunchroom.   Today life growing up from a child to a tween to a teen is escalated by technology of the digital access that kids have today.   It is like they are growing up in the Jetson generation only hundred times faster.   It is advised that parents should have the "tech talk" with their kids even before the "sex talk."   That is a strong indicator of the importance of how cyber-life has taken over our lives--both young and old. Drug dealers have figured this ou...

"Out of Reach" is a special documentary created by a teen filmmaker who captures the issue of teen prescription drug abuse as it exists in his world. The issues contained in the film are a reflection of this issue across the country. It was created in collaboration with director Tucker Capps (of A&E's "Intervention") and The Partnership at Drugfree.org 's Medicine Abuse Project. With the holiday's around the corner, it is imperative that parents not only know what is in their medicine cabinets, but also be aware of what their parents (grandparents) have in their homes.  As you visit relatives and friends this holiday season, it can also be an opportunity for your teen/tween to scout out a variety of bathrooms and medicine cabinets. Be an educated parent - you will have safer and healthier kids. Learn more from The Medicine Abuse Project .

No matter what time of the year it is, dealing with a teenager that is pushing the limits and creating friction in your home can be a stressful time. Compound that with the holidays approaching and knowing there will be time off from school, can be a bit overwhelming.  Will they get into more trouble or will they be busy with constructive projects?  Maybe get a part-time job? In most cases, my colleague and I hear from parents that are at their wit's end and realize that if they don't intervene the consequences could be serious. Holiday time is not always the most opportune time of year, however troubled teenagers don't know when to take vacations. When parents call us for help in searching for residential therapy , many want to try to keep them as close to home as possible. There are some concerns we express when we speak with the parent about selecting a program as it pertains to the location: Convenience is nice, however the priority is what is best for yo...

Making the right choice is not always easy. A question my colleague and I are frequently asked during this time of the year is, "The holidays are here, should we send our teen into a residential program now or wait until after the holidays are over?" Parents' Universal Resources Experts has been helping families for over a decade, actually over 12 years now, and the answer hasn't changed. If you wait for the holidays to be over, you may be risking your teen getting  into further trouble as well as causing more stress and friction during your family holiday season. As school is out teenagers, if they don't have constructive plans, will sometimes get involved with hanging out in places they shouldn't be with people they shouldn't be with.  Today we are facing a time when many parents are working full-time and it is difficult to monitor our kids 24/7 and nearly impossible to tell them who to pick as their peer group. We explain to parents, as dif...

I remember those dreadful years raising a defiant teen - and the threat of running away.  When they finally do it, it can be a parent's nightmare.   If you are currently dealing with a runaway, act immediately. Do not waste any time in utilizing every resource you can to find your child. The list below details a plan of action and tips for finding help. Tips For Finding a Runaway Keep an updated phone list with the home and cell numbers of your teen’s friends. Using the phone list, call every one of your teen’s friends. Talk immediately with their parents, not their friends, as teenagers will often stick together and lie for each other. The parent will tell you anything they know, including the last time contact was made between their child and yours. They will also know to keep closer tabs on their own child. Keep an updated photo of your child on hands at all times. With this photo, create one-page flyers includin...

Help your teen arrive safely to get the help they need. It is a common question, "how will I get my teen to the program, he is refusing to do anything?" We help parents with struggling teens that are looking to give them a second opportunity at a bright future -- many times this includes a residential treatment center or therapeutic boarding school. Rarely does their teen want to attend these programs.  By the time the parent calls us, their teenager is usually at the point of defiance, maybe experimenting with drugs, alcohol, sneaking out, failing in school, and possibly worse. Getting help in not in the teenager's immediate plan - they would prefer to "hang" with their new less than desirable peer group. With this many parents have had to hire transport services. Don't panic, like with everything on the Internet - you can find the good and the bad online. I encourage parents to do their due diligence when it comes to selecting your transpor...

Many parents call us all the time with two scenarios. 1)  My teen refuses to go to a therapist or counselor or 2)  My teen has been in therapy for years and it hasn't made a difference.  Even has changed therapist several times and nothing changes. So why will residential treatment make a difference? Fact is, we don't have a crystal ball but there is definitely a difference.  The one-on-one therapy once a week at home (in a doctor's office) is completely different than being in a therapeutic setting where all your child's activity is geared towards building him up to make better choices and also helping him to reflect on why he was making the negative ones that brought him to where he is now. Removing your teen from their comfort zone of home and mostly of their peer group can substantially change the way they think and react to situations.  You can finally peel back the layer they have to protect their egos (attitudes) and determine where all this...

Parenting teenager's is not easy. When you’re raising a teenager, your house can feel like a war-zone that’s scattered with potential land mines masquerading as casual questions. Every interaction can feel like it has the potential to blow up in your respective faces, leaving parents wondering what the safest course of action is in terms of avoiding an argument. During the tumultuous teenage years, these are 10 of the most reliable ways to avoid fighting with your child. Establish Rational Boundaries – During adolescence, your teen is revisiting the same mindset of early toddlerhood that leaves her looking for ways to test boundaries as a means of asserting her independence from you. Making sure that she knows some boundaries cannot be challenged lays a foundation for calm, rational interaction. Just be sure before you make those rules that you understand your teen’s need for a reasonable amount of independence, and avoid overly harsh authoritarian rules that le...