Sue Scheff: Teen Dating - Is your teen ready?

Many parents will cringe when they even think about their precious "children" reaching the age of dating. Whether you believe it is 16 years-old or 26-years-old, there are worries and stress at all ages. As a parent, worrying is a built in feature that comes with parenting - especially teens.

Teen dating can be an exciting and fun time where self confidence is built up, and dating techniques are learned. Teens also learn how to be both assertive and compromising, how to be giving to another and how to expect the same in return. All of this is a sort of practice session in order to find that "right" person.

Unfortunately, too often teens start dating with no preparatory talks from their parents and then they can lead to trouble. According to Planned Parenthood, about 10 percent of teenage girls in the U.S. become pregnant before age 20. And the U.S. Attorney General reports that 38 percent of date rape victims are girls between the age of 14 and 17.

Talk to your children. Teach them how to date, how to have respect for one another and how to protect themselves from emotional and physical hurt.

Here are some more tips:

  1. BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL.Your relationship with your partner is a model for how your teen will behave with others. Your relationship for your child speaks far louder than anyone's words. Show them how you compromise, stick up for yourself, give and expect respect and argue but love your spouse.
  2. TELL THEM TO LISTEN TO THEIR INNER VOICE. Help them pay attention to the voice inside that says, "I'm uncomfortable in this situation and don't want to do this." Teach them to trust their judgment. Tell them how to avoid unwanted sexual advances. Tell your sons that having sex does not make them a man and tell your daughters that having sex does not make them cool.
  3. WARN THEM ABOUT THE DANGER SIGNS. Being manipulated, verbally put down, pushed or slapped and kept isolated from other relationships are all signs of an abusive relationship. Make sure both your son and daughter understand that, and that they should come to you or another parent/teacher/counselor if they feel at all threatened or oppressed by their boyfriend or girlfriend.
  4. NO, MEANS NO. Tell them they need to be honest and clear in communications. "I'm not sure…" from a girl can mean "I just need to be pushed or pressured some more before I say yes" to her date. Tell girls to say "No" clearly and firmly. Tell boys if they hear "No" then proceeding anyway is rape.
  5. HAVE THE SEX TALK. Make them think seriously about what sexual intimacy really means to them. Tell boys they are not expected to try a million different ways to get sex. Tell girls that they do not need to have sex to keep a guy.

Tell them that oral sex and anal sex are sex. Many kids are having these forms of sex because they tell themselves it's not really sex.

First tell them they shouldn't be having sex yet. Then tell them about contraception and sexually transmitted diseases. You hope they will wait to have sex, but if they don't, it's best that they protect themselves.

Let them talk privately with their doctor so they can get what they need to take care of themselves. Encourage them to come to you with any question or conflict. Try to be open to discussing it, rather than lecturing them. You want them to listen to your opinion, yet at the same time feel they are making up their own mind.

Source: Dr. Gail Saltz

February is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention month as well as Teen Sexual Assault Awareness Week. It is a perfect time to sit down with your teens and talk to them about dating. This is one of the first big steps into adulthood, and a parent should be the one discussing these issues and concerns with their teenager.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.

Popular posts from this blog

Teens Starting College: Transition Blues

Image
Mental illness continues to mystify the mainstream, and students already stressed and anxious about classes, relationships, jobs and activities end up suffering from the stigmas just as much as the conditions themselves. But they don’t have to nurture their pain in quiet. More and more individuals (students or not), their loved ones and organizations are speaking up in favor of psychological help in all its forms. The following list represents some of the most common conditions occurring on campuses globally, though by no means should it be considered a comprehensive glimpse at an issue far more broad and complex. Clinical Depression : At least 44% of college students have reported suffering from some degree of clinical depression — and the number only escalates from there as years tick past. Thanks to prevailing social stigmas regarding psychiatric help, only 23% of victims reported that they’d be comfortable discussing their treatment. Considering the amount of s...
Read more

How to Find NATSAP Schools for My Troubled Teen

Image
  Searching for  schools for troubled teens online  can be tedious and confusing. If this is your first time searching for therapeutic boarding schools for your troubled teenager, learning the terminology will be one of your first lessons. 5 Tips to Untangle the Troubled Teen Industry Terminology “ My teen needs a Military school to teach them a lesson!”  WRONG. Military schools  are a privilege and honor to attend, they are not for defiant, drug-using, depressed, or other behavioral issues students. They do   not   provide mental health services – and if your teen is using drugs, drinking, or vaping now – by attending an open campus, it is likely s/he will consider the use again. However, this time when he is caught (typically three strike you are out) and the parents will forfeit their tuition. This is the same for any of the behavioral issues they are asked to leave or expelled for – you will be risking your tuition as well as  setting your ch...
Read more

Teenage Mental Health Options

Image
Teenage mental health is a growing concern, since 2020 studies have revealed that adolescent depression and anxiety has doubled. This is also causing the rise of suicide ideation and   self-harm   as well as youth self-medicating.  Since 2001 we have helped  educate  parents regarding  mental health options   for troubled teens in addition to  therapeutic boarding schools . This is not a decision that is made lightly. Has your teenager’s behavior been  escalating  for  more than a year ? Are they becoming more withdrawn? Depressed or isolated? More common is the following: -Defiance (ADHD, ODD) -Anger, rage -Cell-phone addiction (self-destructs when the phone is removed) -School refusal (skipping classes) -Lacks motivation -Changing peer groups -Substance use (self-medicating) -Self-harm (relieves anxiety) -Change in eating habits -Poor hygiene   Your teenager may be suffering with mental health issues that need to be addressed...
Read more