Sunday, August 14, 2016

Teens and Dating

What teens need to know before they start dating.

One day, your little one is skipping down the sidewalk with her hair in pigtails and a firm grip on a teddy bear. The next, it seems like, she’s bouncing down the stairs on her way to greet her first date. Watching kids grow and mature, especially during the teenage years, can be a bittersweet experience. It can also be the harbinger of the most difficult period of your parenting career. Preparing your child for the world of adult interactions, romantic entanglements and independence isn’t always easy, especially when you’d much rather they stayed small forever. Just as you can’t keep a child from growing into an adult, neither can you stem the tide of romantic attraction and the desire to date. All you can do is hope that you’ve instilled the values that you set out to, and that you’ve adequately prepared your teenager for the complicated and sometimes painful world of dating.
The Friendship Code
There are certain rules that come along with both dating and mature friendships, and they largely go unspoken until one of them is broken. One of the most pervasive and important rules for your teen to know before he starts dating is that the “friendship code” shouldn’t be broken. This code entails everything from dating a friend’s ex to trying to date a friend’s current girlfriend, and everything in between. While you’re trying to instill an inherent respect for the opposite gender, be sure that you also discuss the ways that dating and friendship can become messy, and how certain decisions can have far-reaching implications when it comes to both friendships and romantic relationships.
The Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship
No parent wants to think about their child being the victim of dating violence, but the sobering statistics show that this is one conversation that parents simply must have with their teens before dating becomes an issue. A study published by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundations shows that as many as one in three seventh grade students have experienced “psychological dating violence,” and that up to one in six have been the victim of physical dating violence. A different study, headed up by the Liz Claiborne corporation, also shows that less than 25% of teenagers have discussed the subject with their parents. Both teen boys and teen girls need to know that dating violence or emotional abuse is never acceptable and should be aware of the warning signs of an abusive relationship. Once a pattern of accepting abuse is established, it can be a difficult and painful cycle to break. Make sure that your teen starts off on the right foot by ensuring that he’s educated and aware of the issues surrounding teen dating violence and abuse.
The Importance of Boundaries and Respect
Parenting comes with its fair share of awkward conversations and embarrassing situations, but it’s far better to weather that momentary discomfort to educate your teen about boundaries and the importance of respecting them than to send them off into the world of dating with no clear understanding of them. Teens need to know that “no” means no, and that pressuring their significant other into anything they’d rather not do is completely unacceptable behavior. They need to know that anyone who subjects them to such pressure is not a good friend or someone that truly cares about their feelings, and that there’s nothing wrong with breaking off a relationship if their boundaries aren’t being respected.
Popularity is Not a Sound Reason for Dating
At no other time in life is the prospect of popularity or gaining entrance into the “cool crowd” more valued or desperately sought than during the teenage years. Teens may date someone that they have little in common with or little regard for simply to maintain or achieve a position of power in their social circle. Conversely, teens often choose not to date people that they are compatible with and attracted to due to a perceived social stigma attached to dating outside of their circle. Before dating even becomes an issue in your child’s life, be sure that she knows just how irrelevant popularity will be to her in five years, and how much she could potentially miss out on if she’s dating someone solely because they’re popular and capable of affecting her social standing.
Your Expectations and Their Responsibilities
While you may think that your expectations and your teen’s dating responsibilities go without saying, it’s important to realize that your teen only knows what you tell him. Don’t assume that your teenager knows what you expect of him as he starts dating, or what his responsibilities are to both you and his significant other. Communicate the rules and what you expect clearly and concisely, so that there’s no confusion or pleas of ignorance later.

Source: Babysitting.net

Sunday, July 24, 2016

ADHD Teens: 4 Tips to Help Them With Their Grades

Every parent wants their child to do well in school and succeed in life. It’s challenging to watch your teen’s grades slip, despite the time, attention and effort you put into helping them improve. This can be even more difficult for parents of children with ADHD. If your teen has ADHD and you’re looking for ways to help them improve their grades, we’ve gathered some tips below.
Unique tools
Kids with ADHD simply do not learn successfully under conventional methods. So it’s wise to try unconventional study methods.
Create a word puzzle to help your child with a specific subject which they are struggling in. Rather than simply reading a book and quizzing them on the information, this is a fun way to study that doesn’t feel like school work.
Have your teen review the information they studied for a few minutes just before they go to bed can also help them remember the information and process it while they sleep.
Break it up
According to PsychCentral.com, cramming for an exam simply doesn’t work. It can put added pressure and anxiety on your teen, which hinders them from understanding and remembering information. Experts suggest breaking up study time into increments for better success. For example, if your child has an exam in a week, ask them to study for 25 minutes each day leading up to it, rather than for hours the night before.
Don’t put the phone away
This one sounds counterproductive, but it actually isn’t. If your child is one of the millions of kids today with a smartphone, don’t ask him or her to put it down just yet. The apps and resources in smartphones can actually be helpful to your child.
For kids with ADHD, planning ahead is crucial. At the start of the school year or even a particular week, have your child note key due dates in the calendar of their phone. Also, have them set up reminders with the alert feature so they never miss something important. This article offers more insight — though geared toward college students, middle and high school students alike can benefit from the tips.
When studying, however, ask your child to put their phone in airplane mode or simply take the phone until they are finished to avoid distractions.
Physical activity
Physical activity is helpful in reducing stress, clearing the mind and getting blood flowing. But for kids with ADHD — and kids in general who may be dealing with the pressures that come with being a pre-teen or teenager — physical activity is even more important. Some experts even say that movement is medicine when it comes to ADHD, helping to increase attention and improve mood.
Even if your child is not interested in sports, make it a point to incorporate a brisk walk, bike ride or even a game of catch into family time. This can help with bonding and also bring forth the aforementioned benefits.
Above all, keep the lines of communication open with your child, assess what’s working on a regular basis and adjust your strategy as needed. It can be tough to help children with special needs help themselves. But with preparation and creativity, it will be easier for the two of you to achieve success together.
Contributor:  Joyce Wilson taught for decades. Now happily retired, she spends her days sharing her teaching knowledge with today’s teachers and hanging out with her grandchildren. She and a fellow retired teacher created TeacherSpark.org to share creative ideas and practical resources for the classroom.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Summer Months Bring Higher Death Rate for Teen Drivers

If you had to choose for your teen to drive through an icy winter storm or an 80-degree “not-a-cloud-in-the-sky” day, which would you prefer? If you’re like most, you’ll probably put your trust in the warm summer day as opposed to the blistery winter one.
Now, ask yourself the same question after reading the following statistic:
According to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS), the summer months of June, July, and August consistently have higher teenage crash deaths than any other month.
It would take a rare parent to send their teenager off for a drive during a winter storm without a few words of warning (if you were to even let them behind the wheel at all!) But do you allow yourself the same pause for reflection before your son hops in the car after summer practice to go to the beach with friends? Or when your daughter pulls out of the driveway on a warm July night to catch a movie?
Here’s to making summer 2015 the safest one yet. Some tips to help ensure your teen always comes back to you in one piece:
1. Buckle Up. Did you know? Compared to other age groups, teens have thelowest rate of seat belt use and the majority of teens involved in fatal crashes are unbelted. Set an example by always buckling up yourself — whether they’re in the car or not!
2. Limit passengers. I know, I know. Carpooling is all the rage and I’m all for protecting the environment, but make sure your teen knows there is a LIMIT to how many friends he or she may have in the car at any one time. Distracted driving is a real and all too serious thing, and the more friends in the car the more likely a distraction.
3. Speaking of distracted driving . . .think of investing in a nifty little product I happened upon recently called the Drop Stop. Drop Stop has made it their mission not only to catch all your small belongings that INEVITABLY fall in the gap between your seats, but to eliminate distracted driving in doing so. Your teen drops their phone, their jewelry, their credit card etc., while they’re driving. It falls between the gap. They look down, and down, and down, and... crash. With Drop Stop, they won’t have to look down, ever. If anything ever falls, they’ll know right where to find it, and it’ll be there safe and sound once they park.
4. Help your teen maintain their vehicle! Do they tires have enough tread? When was the last time they had an oil change? Does every light work and at what percentage are the breaks? Keep your teen safe by seeing to it these maintenance issues are up-to-date all while teaching your teen very adult responsibilities.
Summer inevitably means more teen drivers on the roads, many who have had minimal experience behind the road. Their lack of experience can lead to dubious decision making which can lead to every parent’s worst nightmare: A car collision.
What are some of your best tips for teen drivers, and parents of teen drivers? Share with me in the comments below, and remember: Drive safe this summer!
Takeaway tips:
• Discuss safe driving with your teen before they get a license.
• Be a role model. Don’t text and drive, even with your years of experience.
• Educate your teen. Sign them up for drivers-ed or online classes.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Teen Help Programs for Young Adults

Just because your teen has turned 18 doesn’t necessarily mean they are an adult.
As a matter of fact, I have spoken with many parents and explained that if they are having issues at 14, 15 and 16 — when 18 rolls around, it can seem like an earthquake. The problem is, teens believe they are an adult, yet their actions are still screaming child!
There are excellent young adult programs that can inspire, encourage and educate your son or daughter.
These programs offer structured support, typically education in accordance to what their needs are (whether they need to get their high school diploma or start college courses), life skills, enrichment and wellness programs to help them lead a healthy and balanced lifestyle. Some offer the therapeutic component as well as ongoing medical care if your child needs this.
The biggest hurdle can be convincing your son or daughter to attend.
Most parents are surprised that it can be easier than they thought. Whether they are facing jail time (usually for a minor offense, but since they are now being charged as an adult, they may have up to 30-days in jail) and would prefer to enter a young adult program in lieu of incarceration. Most judges are very agreeable to this, as we well know, the jails are full.
If you are at your wit’s end, your son or daughter may be left with no other options. They are done sofa-surfing with their friends and family. You can offer them this program as an alternative to you assisting them in the next phrase of their life. You are only asking for 90 days. Most kids can digest 90 days. What happens in these 90 days can be transforming as they start feeling good about themselves again.
These young adult programs range in tuition. If you have PPO insurance, it sometimes will cover a portion of it according to your policy. Most programs will help you with this.
We have helped many families from around the country area since 2001 with their struggling young adults.
Please contact us  for more information on young adult programs. The age for these programs are 17-22 years old.

Saturday, May 7, 2016

New Poll: Teens and Cyberbullying

Most Teens Spend at Least 3 Hours a Day Socializing Online

AT&T and Tyler Clementi Foundation Survey 1,000 Area Teens and Parents: Find Pervasive Cyberbullying and Significant Awareness Gap Between Parents and Teens
As middle and high school students spend more time online than ever before, a survey of New York City-area teenagers and parents finds cyberbullying is a prevalent issue that touches a vast majority of area children. The poll of 1,000 parents and teens in New York City, Long Island, Westchester and northern New Jersey was conducted by AT&T and the Tyler Clementi Foundation.
  • 48% of teens have experienced cyberbullying.
  • 8 in 10 know someone who has been the victim of cyberbullying. Unlike in-person bullying at school or outside the home, cyberbullying is happening right under parents’ noses.
  • A majority of teens (53%) spend at least 3 hours a day online, with most of this socializing (86%) taking place at home.
“This first-hand account of what teens are experiencing online is a powerful wake up call to the pervasiveness of cyberbullying and its potential damaging effects,” said Marissa Shorenstein, New York State President of AT&T.  “The results show that awareness of cyberbullying is high, and more education is needed to help teens make better online choices. By better understanding the extent of the issue, AT&T and the Tyler Clementi Foundation hope to help teens and parents more safely navigate a connected world.”
To help that navigation, AT&T created Digital You last year. It’s a comprehensive program offering tools, tips, apps, guidance and community education events for people of all ages and levels of online experience. It provides education about using the Internet for a positive and safe outcome.
“These stats speak to the staggering problem of cyberbullying,” said Jane Clementi, founder and board member of the Tyler Clementi Foundation. “It’s outrageous and simply unacceptable to allow this to continue.  Aggressive behaviors in the electronic world can cause great pain and destruction to one’s spirit.  We must instill in our youth the knowledge that technology is only as good as the people who use it.  It can be a wonderful and useful tool or a weapon of great harm and destruction, as in the case of many young people today, including my son Tyler.”
In addition to using the poll to raise awareness, AT&T and the Tyler Clementi Foundation will work with the All American High School Film Festival to challenge student filmmakers with creating short films to address the impact of cyberbullying on teens’ lives.  Students from around the country will have the opportunity to shoot, edit and produce a final cut in New York City in time for Cyberbullying Awareness Month in October. The winning film(s) will be shared with middle and high schools throughout New York later this year.
This negative behavior persists even as a vast majority of parents (78%) say they have spoken with their children about online dangers and appropriate behaviors. In fact, the poll finds there is a significant gap between what parents think they know about their children’s experiences online and their actual experiences. 57% of parents say they believe their children would tell them if they’ve been bullied but, in fact, just 33% of teens say they have done so. 43% of teens say they would be “terrified” if their parents looked at their smart phones, while nearly half of parents (47%) admit they never scan their children’s devices.
The poll also found parents can do a better job of talking with their children about online dangers. 1 in 5 parents (21%) say they have spoken to their children about them only in passing and not as part of a sit down conversation.
1 in 3 teens say they prefer to socialize online rather than in-person, even though it may not always occur within a positive community. Of teens surveyed, 41% describe the comments their peers post online as mostly mean. Experiences can differ based on gender, race and where they live.
  • Teens are targeted for a variety of reasons on text and social media, most particularly for being socially awkward (52%), their clothing choices (43%) and their sexual orientation (31%).
  • Girls are more likely than boys to be subject to degrading or insulting comments, 58% to 51%.
  • Nearly 1 in 3 teens have peers who have been cyberbullied for their sexual orientation.
  • Of those teens who said they were cyberbullied for their sexual orientation, Hispanic teens were the most likely to be bullied (42%), followed by African American teens (35%) and white teens (26%).
  • African American teens are twice as likely to confront a bully (61%), compared to white teens (31%) and Hispanic teens (33%).
  • Hispanic parents are the least likely to talk to their children about appropriate online behavior (66%), compared to white parents (80%) and African American parents (89%).
  • Parents in the northern suburbs (87%) reported having more substantive conversations than City parents (74%).
To view the complete poll results, click here.

Monday, April 18, 2016

Sue Scheff Co-Host of The Internet Ruined My Life Aftershow

As I wrote in my previous Blog post, Syfy's latest new series, The Internet Ruined My Life representatives contacted me.

I enlisted the help of Cyberwise to create The Aftershow to help educate viewers after watching the cyber-disasters that ruined lives. Sometimes people weren't even online!

The series is an eye-opener for everyone!

Twitterverse had this to say:

























Watch our final show with the Founder of STOMPOutBullying, Ross Ellis and from McAfee/Intel Security, Toni Birdsong.
 My latest Huffington Post, Digital Shaming, You're Only A Click Away.

Monday, April 4, 2016

The Internet Ruined My Life Aftershow

On March 9, 2016 a new series started, The Internet Ruined My Life on the Syfy Network. Though the series is new, we know that keystrokes and cyber-wars have been destroying lives for a long time.

“I wish I had never hit send.”

“I never knew one Tweet would ruin my life.” 

“Everyone wants to be Internet famous.” 

 Do they? Well, not in the way these stories happened. Have you ever considered what would happen if you become a #hashtag? And I don’t mean a positive one. We have seen many people become victims of viral vomit that have innocently posted something benign that was completely taken out of context.

We have seen others that have posted things on what they believed were private forums or groups, or to their limited number of friends or followers — only to have them republished by that one friend that maybe wasn’t really a friend at all.

 As a viewer, you watch these cyber-disasters and simply can’t believe they can actually ever happen to you. However as someone that has been through digital warfare, I know firsthand, no one is immune to online attacks.

 No one is immune to suddenly becoming a victim of cyberbullying or stalking. You never know when a friend can turn on you — or if you have a disgruntled client or even an angry business partner. Maybe you have a competitor that is jealous of you. We are watching more and more people using their finger-tips for e-venge now.

 The keyboard has now become a legal lethal weapon that is not only destroying and ruining lives, it’s also taking lives.

We have read the devastating headlines of youth that have committed suicide over cyberbullying. We have also read where teens and tweens can become so involved in the video games it’s hard to define reality from fantasy.

Most babies learn to crawl before they walk. With today’s tech world, we need to teach our children digital etiquette before we hand them a keypad of any sorts.   It seems children today are more cyber-savvy than most parents, yet aren’t mature enough (or have common sense) to understand the consequences of adult situations – such as sexting.

Sexting is considered today’s new flirting for youth.

However what most are not comprehending is the seriousness of it.   Today revenge porn is rampant. Laws are slow to catch up and lives are being destroyed. Kids aren’t mature enough to understand that relationships are here today and gone within a click. However that image is there forever.

These are only a few of the topics that the great team of Cyberwise with special experts each week, will be discussing and offering takeaways.   Everyone is invited! Each week we will have new experts joining us.

Diana Graber will host and I will be joining her most of the weeks.
 Check out the first Aftershow LIVE (recorded) here. – March 17th, 2016 Show.  



Starting March 17th the experts are:

Bradley Shear is a lawyer who focuses on Internet, Technology, and Privacy Law. His advocacy efforts have led to at least 23 states banning employers and/or schools from being able to ask for access to your personal social media accounts.  He blogs at www.shearsocialmedia.com.




Dr. Pamela Rutledge  is a Media Psychologist who tries to answer those questions by combining an understanding of human behavior, cognition, and emotions with an equal understanding of media technologies. http://www.pamelarutledge.com/

  Coming on March 24th:
  Richard Guerry - is the founder of the non-profit organization the Institute for Responsible Online and Cell-Phone Communication (IROC2). Public and Permanent is how you can prevent any digital issue beyond sexting and cyber bullying.

  Emily Lindin - is the founder of The UnSlut Project, author of the newly released memoir, UnSlut and UnSlut Documentary.

Coming on March 31th:
 Andrea Weckerle - is the Founder of CiviliNation and the author of Civility in the Digital Age: How Companies and People Can Triumph over Haters, Trolls, Bullies and Other Jerks (2013).

Coming on April 7th:
Dr. Michelle Drouin is a developmental psychologist. Dr. Drouin’s  research on sexting, social media, and mobile phone addiction has attracted international attention, and she regularly does interviews for television, radio, newspapers, and magazines.

Coming on April 14th:
Toni Birdsong is a Family Safety Evangelist for Intel Security. She is an author, speaker, and cyber safety expert.
Ross Ellis is the founder and CEO of STOMP Out Bullying.

RSVP TODAY: https://blab.im/cyberwise-gleek-disaster-glee-extra-tells-all
IRML407 IRML331     IRMY324   CyberwiseBlab317                

Can the Internet ruin your life? 5 tips to help you avoid online trouble. My latest post for Connect Safely.

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Teen Internet Addiction Detox Programs

The world of technology is consuming many of us. Parents and teens alike are rarely without some gadget in their hand or very close to them.

When do you know that it's become harmful to your health?

Teen Internet Addiction Warning Signs:
  • You suffer from anxiety. You may use the internet to distract yourself from your worries and fears. An anxiety disorder like obsessive-compulsive disorder may also contribute to excessive email checking and compulsive internet use.
  • You are depressed. The Internet can be an escape from feelings of depression, but too much time online can make things worse. Internet addiction further contributes to stress, isolation, and loneliness.
  • You have any other addictions. Many internet addicts suffer from other addictions, such as drugs, alcohol, gambling, and sex.
  • You lack social support. Internet addicts often use social networking sites, instant messaging, or online gaming as a safe way of establishing new relationships and more confidently relating to others.
  • You’re an unhappy teenager. You might be wondering where you fit in and the internet could feel more comfortable than real life.
  • You are less mobile or socially active than you once were. For example, you may be coping with a new disability that limits your ability to drive. Or you may be parenting very young children, which can make it hard to leave the house or connect with old friends.
  • You are stressed. While some people use the internet to relieve stress, it can have a counterproductive effect. The longer you spend online, the higher your stress levels will be.
If you have exhausted your local resources and considering outside help, contact www.helpyourteens.com for information. There are programs designed to help your teen find a healthy balance in life.