The Blog of P.U.R.E. and Sue Scheff

Teens and preteens are very susceptible to the desire to feel as though they belong and are accepted among their peers. However, peer pressure can often have a very negative influence on how they behave, and, even more importantly, how they feel about themselves. As your child enters middle school, peer pressure can escalate as classmates begin pushing the boundaries set by both parents and schools. As parents, you are still the largest influence in your kids’ lives, giving you an opportunity to help them cope with this peer pressure. Here are ten ways you can help. Be Proactive – Don’t wait for problems or topics to arise to discuss them with your middle school child. Instead, be proactive and have the hard conversations about drugs, alcohol, tobacco and sex with her. Let her know your point of view and the hard truths about these subjects that they will face one way or another. Speak Up – When you notice a certain friend or group of friends seems to be a poor in...

By Amity Chandler , former DFCC Executive Director At a recent community presentation of primarily retired individuals, I mentioned that we like to remind parents that have students at home during the summer to throw out the leftover liquor bottles from holiday celebrations. The retired individuals promptly noted that they would take those "donations," as their children were already raised and out of the home. Whether you "donate" your lingering supply to a teen-free neighbor, or simply dump it, here are some tips to navigate summer with your teen:  First, let's debunk summer. There is nothing magical about it, except that teens tend to have more free time and there is a strong correlation between free time and risk-taking among teens. This could mean riding their bike into the pool, walking through the drive-thru, or an all-nighter of the Jersey Shore.  It could also mean the temptation to experiment with alcohol, marijuana or sexual act...

Summer is coming and teens will have more free time on their hands.  Parents need to learn as much as they can about over the counter (OTC) medicine abuse, it is just as risky and dangerous as street drugs. What can you do? We can all play a role in ending medicine abuse.  By working together, parents and grandparents, health care providers,  community leaders and educators can truly make a difference. Here are 7 things you can do to help: 1. Take The Pledge. Visit http://www.medicineabuseproject.org 2. Safeguard Your Medicine. Keep prescription medicine in a secure place , count and monitor the number of pills you have and lock up your medicine. 3. Dispose Properly of Your Unused Medicine.   Learn how to safely dispose of medicine at home — and find a medicine take-back site near you. 4. Educate Yourself. Find helpful resources for Parents & Grandparents , Health Care Providers , Communities & Law Enforcement ...

It is that time of the year and teens are excited about their proms and graduation. With this usually comes celebration, but remember, drinking age is usually 21 years-old.  Parents need to encourage their teens to make smart choices.  There is the POWER of PARENTS! Steps you can take at home: Help your son or daughter steer clear of the dangers of underage drinking with these five steps: Step 1: Think of yourself as a coach Your role in preventing underage drinking is similar to coaching. You can help your teen by Sharing information Discussing choices and monitoring behavior Helping your teen anticipate and handle challenging situations Cheering your teen on to make smart, safe choices Step 2: Get busy communicating Begin a series of conversations with your son or daughter—proactively, before he or she gets caught drinking—about how: Alcohol is a drug with serious sedative effects Drinking has health dangers and other risks for young people...

Respect.  A word that needs to come back into this generation of teenagers. As a child approaches adolescence, the natural exploration of boundaries and the need to assert his own independence often leaves his parents feeling as if all respect between them has dissipated. Arguing, defiance and even foul language are normal, though admittedly incredibly frustrating, aspects of parenting a teenager. While regaining a teen’s respect may seem like an impossible proposition, there are ways that you can restore some semblance of balance and civility to your relationship as he gets older. While patience and a refusal to reward bad behavior are the keys to maintaining a measure of order in your home as the parent of teenagers, there are some methods that can supplement your efforts along the way. Show Respect In order to maintain your teenager’s respect, you’ll need to make sure that you show the same measure of respect in return. If you resort to shouting, threat...

Teen depression , sadly, is common today. Feeling good has a lot to do with the choices your teen makes regarding their health. The life of a teen is filled with choices, and most teens do not base decisions on their health, future, or long-term risks. Keeping up teens' health ultimately falls on the parents' shoulders, even though most teens are already making many of their own choices. If you struggle finding a balance when it comes to your teen's health or want to be sure that you're doing as much as you can with the time you do have, here are a few simple ways to make a big impact on the health of your teen: 1. Require consistent exercise. There is no need to be a drill sergeant or make exercise feel like a chore, but there is something to be said for requiring exercise from your children. Whether they take up a sport, enroll in a dance program, or just join the gym with you, teens need to start now with a consistent exercise program for op...

It’s no secret that students cheat.  On exams, on papers, on projects: no matter the assignment, someone out there has figured out a way to cheat on it. And the statistics are alarming : two out of three college students admit they have cheated on homework, and 19% have cheated on exams, according to a recent study. View slideshow: Back to School: Common cheating habits Whether it’s because of shifting morals or access to technology, it’s clear that cheating is as prevalent as ever. If you’re a teacher who wants to crack down on cheaters or a student who wants to take the easy way through school (shame on you!), these are the most common ways students around you are cheating. 1. Looking at someone else’s answers during an exam happens , but it’s much more common for students to copy a peer’s homework routinely. Many students don’t even see it as cheating. Not only is it unfair to the student who is actually doing the assignments and being taken advantage of, it...

Parenting teens is challenging. Communicating with teens can be even more difficult. During your children’s teenage years you’ll likely encounter a period of time when it seems like you have nothing in common with each other and carrying on conversations is akin to climbing Mt. Everest. This is heavily influenced by the fact that teenagers and the adults who care for them are very different creatures and are at very different points in their lives. Understanding those differences will help open the lines of communication between you and the teen in your life. Check out these ideas for ways to get teens talking: Create a topic jar. A topic jar is a jar that you fill with different pieces of paper containing conversation topics. Each night at dinner a different person gets to choose a slip of paper from the jar and read it aloud. The reader gets to start the conversation. For example, the slip of paper could say, “Tell about something that surprised you today”. Ask op...

Teens smoking cigarettes is not want parents like, however unfortunately with peer pressure, sometimes our kids feel the need to fit in. Most know that smoking is bad for you, yet as with kids, they don't worry about the consequences. Kids can get pretty creative when it comes to hiding their bad habits from parents and most parents assume that their child would never do anything like take drugs, drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes. In all cases there are certain signs to watch for that let you know if your child is indulging in any of these risky behaviors, no matter how crafty they may be at trying to hide them. Here are some signs to watch for if you think your child may be smoking. More use of breath mints or chewing gum – Has your child suddenly felt it necessary to always chew gum or have breath mints? If so, there is a chance that they might be trying to cover up the bad breath that smoking causes. The dirty ashtray smell – Chances are if you confront...

It was only a short time ago parents were scrambling to get school supplies and their kids ready for a new school year. Now the time is nearing for parents. Parent teacher conferences are usually set for October.   Are you ready? Here are some tips to help you get the most from your time with your child's teachers. Before the conference: Check grades and teacher expectations. Many schools post student’s grades on their Student Information System. So review your child’s past work. There’s no reason to get caught off guard. Jot questions and prioritize concerns. Take a few minutes to jot down questions for the teacher. Take those with you so you won’t forget to ask. Also, don’t forget to ask your kid if there is anything the teacher might tell you that you don’t know. (It’s always best to not be surprised.)   Meet your needs. If you need extra set of “ears” to be with you, you feel intimidated, or worry the teacher may use jargon you don’t und...

Times sure have changed when it comes to sports.  It used to be that kids would play sports in school or the occasional little league team.  Kids were allowed to be kids.  Today it seems like parents are enticed to join the rec league to teach the kids to play soccer or volleyball.  That’s great, but then along comes a different coach that tells the parents their kids have a lot of talent and they are wasting it in a rec league.  The parents have a decision to make. Check out 10 reasons parents find sports clubs for their kids. Better coaching: There’s nothing wrong with a mom or a dad coaching their kids’ sports team, but there comes a time when the kids have learned everything that mom or dad can teach them and they need a professional.  This is a coach’s only job.  He’s not constantly out of town on business and canceling practice.  The skills that the coach teaches the kids are the skills that will take them to the next level. ...

Make it a good school year. Many parents have prepared for the past several weeks by purchasing school supplies, uniforms, clothes, books, and other necessary items to start their new academic year. They also are staring a new schedule at home.  Summer is over and it is back to getting on a schedule. Here are some tips for the first week of school transition for parents: Clear your own schedule . To the extent possible, postpone business trips, volunteer meetings, and extra projects. You want to be free to help your child acclimate to the school routine and overcome the confusion or anxiety that many children experience at the start of a new school year. Make lunches the night before school . Older children should help or make their own. Give them the option to buy lunch in school if they prefer and finances permit. Set alarm clocks . Have school-age children set their own alarm clocks to get up in the morning. Praise them for prompt response to morning ...

Is your teenager sharing too much of their information online? In a recent survey on TeenVogue.com, 94 percent of readers polled said that teenagers should be more concerned about privacy on the Internet. Social networking sites, such as Facebook, has become a go-to site for college recruiters as well as employers .  Does your teen know the consequences of posting their party pictures, or language they should only be using privately (if using at all)? Do you recall a recent Examiner article, Employers now asking for your Facebook link when applying for a job ? Although it can be nearly impossible to control or monitor everything our teens do, it is imperative you stress the importance of the lasting effects that an innocent photo or a questionable action that is posted on your Facebook page can result in - years from now. Many kids are not able to grasp that two to five years from now is really not a long time.  Like many kids, it seems like forev...

Guest Blogger, Phillip Lopez , as written an article that many parents will find extremely helpful.  Raising kids and teens today is challenging.  Figuring out how to answer those tough and sensitive questions can be scary and stressful to parents. Phillip Lopez writes for Christian Colleges and Universities . 10 Toughest Questions Kids Ask By: Phillip Lopez If you’re a parent, you’ve undoubtedly discovered that raising children is the most difficult task you’ve ever undertaken. It’s your responsibility to shape their impressionable minds – whether or not they grow up to become productive members of society and successful individuals supposedly hinges on your every move. So go figure they ask the most difficult questions early in the parenting process, when they’re most curious and you’re most clueless. Below are a handful of those questions that make parents cringe. How are babies made? Every parent has inevitably been asked this question in some v...

What is high quality child care? "It is all about interaction" says Parenting Expert, Michele Borba. "Warm supporting caregivers that give good quality cognitive stimulation is part of quality child care providers," she continues. Dr. Michele Borba , Parenting Expert and Author, was featured on Today Show with Ann Curry on the new study just released and breaks down new findings that credit teens' high test scores to the high quality of day care during their younger years. (Watch video below). The federally funded study, which has been tracking more than 1,300 children since 1991, found that obedience and academic problems among those who received low-quality care in their first 4 1/2 years of life persisted through their 15th birthdays, suggesting the potential for lifelong difficulties. These results underscore the importance of interaction between children and their daytime caregivers according to experts. Michele Borba has listed the Top 10 Questions to A...

Parents, have you had your cup of coffee this morning? Many of us remember our parents telling us that coffee will stunt our growth. As we know today it was one of those myths. However there are pros and cons to caffeine, especially when used in excess. Read a very timely article by Connect with Kids and how teens are using and/or abusing the use of caffeine through the energy drinks, coffee and more. Source: Connect with Kids Teen Caffeine Abuse “When I drink too much caffeine my heart flutters and it goes really fast, and I get really dizzy and light-headed - and I feel like I'm going to pass out or throw up.” – Alicia, 17 years old 17-year-old Byron has a stack of 430 empty cups. He slams down around two large, caffeine-loaded energy drinks every day. "It hits my brain in about 11 seconds," he says. "I've timed it." 19-year-old Pam has ten caffeinated drinks a day. "I probably have three cups of coffee," she explains, "and the rest, soda....

April is Alcohol Awareness Month . No matter what time of the year it is, talking to your kids about the dangers of alcoholism and drinking is critical. Just say no to drugs, but also say no to drinking. Parents are the anti-drug. The Cool Spot is a place for teens and tweens to learn more about alcohol and resisting peer pressure. The Cool Spot was created for kids 11-13 years old by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). The NIAAA is the lead U.S. agency supporting research into the causes, prevention, and treatment of alcohol problems. It is a component of the National Institutes of Health, within the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Peer pressure is a common thread when kids are trying to fit in. Most one to be part of a cool group, but at what cost? Pressure is the feeling that you are being pushed toward making a certain choice-good or bad. A peer is someone in your own age group. Peer pressure is-you guessed it-the feeling that so...

Underage drinking and/or teenage drinking is a serious concern for parents. Alcohol is usually more accessible than most drugs. We often hear about college students that binge drink. Could this be the beginning of a dark future called alcoholism? During the month of April it is time to learn more about teen drinking and underage drinking. The younger you are when you start drinking, the greater your chance of becoming addicted to alcohol at some point in your life. More than 4 in 10 people who begin drinking before age 15 eventually become alcoholics. Children of addicts and alcoholics are four times more likely to become addicts and alcoholics themselves than children of non-addicts. Why do teens drink? Experimentation with alcohol during the teen years is common. Some reasons that teens use alcohol and other drugs are: curiosity to feel good, reduce stress, and relax to fit in to feel older From a very young age, kids see advertising messages showing beautiful people en...

Is your teen starting his/her freshman year at college this fall? It can be stressful and cause some teens to be anxious about how they will fit in. What is more of a concern for parents is your teen not reaching out and experimenting in areas they know are not healthy or good for them. Recent studies show that every year more than 1,400 college students die because of alcohol poisoning, drunk driving, dangerous pranks and other risky behaviors- all involving alcohol. And, almost half of those killed are freshman. Source: Connect with Kids Freshman Dangers “There are things that are acceptable in college that aren’t acceptable anywhere else. If we had a 35-year-old man at a Christmas party funneling beers, we’d be appalled. But you go to a fraternity house and you’ve got kids funneling beer, and that’s sort of the norm.” – Heather Hayes, LPC, Licensed Professional Counselor Recent studies show that every year more than 1,400 college students die because of alcohol poisoning...

Although years ago having at least one parent at home when kids came home from school was common, today it is far from common.  With both parents usually working to make financial ends meet, or many more single parents, it has become almost impossible for some families to have a parent at home when their teen comes home from school.  As a teen, it is assumed that parental supervision isn't necessary, but this is not about babysitting, as much as it is about being a parent.  Recently Connect with Kids posted a very timely and informational article on "Split Shift Parenting."  Take the time to learn more. Source: Connect with Kids Split Shift Parenting “Maybe shoplift or go get high with their friends – there [are] a lot of different things [teens] could be doing after school.” – Dwan, 18 years old The after school hours are prime-time for kids of all ages to get into trouble if there is no parent around. But some families are experimenting with "split-shif...