The Blog of P.U.R.E. and Sue Scheff

Parenting teens is challenging. Communicating with teens can be even more difficult. During your children’s teenage years you’ll likely encounter a period of time when it seems like you have nothing in common with each other and carrying on conversations is akin to climbing Mt. Everest. This is heavily influenced by the fact that teenagers and the adults who care for them are very different creatures and are at very different points in their lives. Understanding those differences will help open the lines of communication between you and the teen in your life. Check out these ideas for ways to get teens talking: Create a topic jar. A topic jar is a jar that you fill with different pieces of paper containing conversation topics. Each night at dinner a different person gets to choose a slip of paper from the jar and read it aloud. The reader gets to start the conversation. For example, the slip of paper could say, “Tell about something that surprised you today”. Ask op...

I hear many times that parents say that their teen is hanging with a negative peer group, however you have to remember, it is your teenager that is choosing to be with them. There is no denying how awkward the teenage years are. Surging hormones, increasing responsibility, and feeling a lack of control over their lives have long caused stress among teens. Parents might struggle to find sympathy when their teenager moans how hard their life is but it is true more than ever for today's teens. A parent's job is to help guide their child through this time, hopefully having them emerge from the chrysalis as a competent adult. One problem teens struggle to deal with is pressure. Non-stop access to social media has made it difficult for them to learn to switch off. As their parent, you can help them develop the skills they need to manage pressure in a positive way, without turning to damaging alternatives like alcohol or drugs. 1. Switching Off Put your teen in an...

What happened to my teen that as making straight A's always so concerned about getting their homework done on time, participated in school activities and looked forward to family gatherings? Adolescence? Peer pressure?  Today's society? A school incident such as bullying/cyberbullying? Sometimes it could be something a parent can't detect however they do see their once flourishing child now sinking into a deep dark hole.  They are either gravitating to a negative peer group or withdrawing all together, becoming secretive and actually failing school.  Sometimes skipping classes or not attending school at all.  Do you suspect they are using drugs or drinking? What is the next step? Seeking local help and all local resources should always be the first step.  Once you have exhausted all these options and you still see your child is sinking deeper, it may be time to consider residential therapy.  This is a major emotional and financial decision. This w...

As a parent, YOU can make the right choices. Do you really need to pay someone up to $5000.00 to tell you that you need to send your child to the woods for a glorified camping trip aka Wilderness program then to a residential program or are you capable of doing this yourself?  Let's look at this..... Maybe you can save yourself some money...... Educational Consultants were originally designed to help parents with their teens to find the right colleges and with the application process. As the shift in teen help increased, they seemed to branch out into the residential treatment field. Most have not experienced what you are going through.  Most do not know what you are dealing with at home.  Only an experienced parent that has been there really knows that feeling of helplessness. What is the EC Shuffle ? Find out more and try not to get into the mix.  Parent Consultants do not employ this type of assistance for your needs.  " The EC I spoke with only...

Parents of at-risk teens have many common thoughts, here are some of them: My daughter is so smart, she is highly intelligent. My son is extremely handsome, very athletic and always had lots of friends. My daughter is beautiful, was the captain of her cheerleading team etc.... My son has an IQ of 170, yet is failing. My daughter wants to drop out of high school. My son wants to get his GED and is not attending school. My daughter made the varsity team and yet dropped out. My son was swim captain and now was asked to leave the team. (He was caught with pot, but said it was his friends. My daughter smokes pot, but it is only recreational. My son likes to drink beer, but it isn't all the time. Excuses for parents: It is the friends he/she is hanging with. The teacher doesn't like my son/daughter. The school has zero tolerance. His father isn't around enough. The coach expects too much. If it wasn't for this one neighbor, we wouldn't have these issue...

Talk to your teens about the dangers of drinking A modest meeting amongst friends on campus can be enhanced immeasurably with the introduction of a fun, buzz-inducing drinking game. Of course, drinking in general is associated with the college experience, in which young adults assert their independence by going buck wild. Such behavior usually comes with the lack of a true understanding of the consequences of alcohol, and thus reckless behavior — albeit fun behavior — ensues. Consequently, some drinking games can turn a lively shindig into a deadly or at least vomit-inducing debacle. Here are a few to avoid if you value the function of your liver (or eyeball). Vodka Eyeballing : Originating in the UK, the Vodka Eyeballing craze has spread across the Atlantic Ocean thanks to YouTube , and now it's catching on with numbskull American teens and college students. Unlike other drinking games, the feared repercussion isn't alcohol poisoning; it's the potential o...

As second semester is progressing, and faster than we realize, our High School teenagers are not recognizing how important these years are to getting into a good college or university . It is a fact, not all kids are designed to go to college, some are very good at vocational trades, and that is a great direction too - as long as they have a direction. However if you see that your once A-B student is barely getting C's and D's it is time to find out what is going on. Talk to your teen Talk to his/her guidance counselor Talk to his/her teachers Who are your teen's friends now? Are they also failing? What has changed? Why are they spiraling to a destructive level ? This list could go on forever, but at the end of the day, it is about getting your teen back on track.  Especially if you have a 16-17 year old, you have limited time to get them back on the positive road. Have you tried therapy, which in many cases can lead to a dead end since your teen doesn't s...

Parenting is probably one of the hardest jobs there is. During the holidays the added stress can cause contention as well as family disputes . However if you are dealing with an at-risk teenager, a teen that was already struggling down a negative path - maybe experimenting with drugs or hanging with a less than desirable peer group or has failed their first semester of school, holiday times can be more strenuous. Dealing with troubled teens at any time of the year is not easy, it is a challenge.  Dealing with troubled teens during the holidays can be double the trouble.  With time off from school, many families have both parents working with limited supervision at home which leaves many teens on their own.  Have you checked your medicine cabinets lately? Parents' Universal Resource Experts , founded in Broward County, has been helping families with teens in trouble for almost a decade.  One of the common threads is during the holiday...

During this festive season of holiday parties, luncheons and dinners, some adult may over-indulge.  Whether it is food or drinking, going over your usually limit with treats is common when celebrating. However, when it comes to your teens, you need to be an example to them .  Holiday cheer can be fun without the high intake of alcohol. Alcohol Facts: (Booze) What is It? Alcohol is created when grains, fruits, or vegetables are fermented, a process that uses yeast or bacteria to change the sugars in the food into alcohol. Alcohol has different forms and can be used as a cleaner or antiseptic; however the kind of alcohol that people drink is ethanol, which is a sedative. When alcohol is consumed, it's absorbed into a person's bloodstream. From there, it affects the central nervous system (the brain and spinal cord), which controls virtually all body functions. Alcohol actually blocks some of the messages trying to get to the brain. This alters a person's per...