The Blog of P.U.R.E. and Sue Scheff

As I share with parents, residential therapy is a major decision not to be taken lightly.  It's not about teaching your child a lesson, it's not about punishing your teen or scaring them straight -- residential therapy is a huge financial and emotional decision that is made after you have exhausted all your local resources. Residential therapy is a choice made out of love to give your child a second chance at a bright future. Usually a parent has reached their wit's end ; they have been to local therapy, some have even tried having their teen stay with a relative.  Some have been through extensive out-patient programs but it isn't until you remove (residential therapy) the teen from their environment that they will be able to heal and gain an objective view on what is the root of the issues. In the majority of families that contact us, these are not bad kids, these are kids that come from good families - raised with morals and taught right from wrong, however...

I hear this question a lot.  Of course the answer is only opinion based - and may depend on your child and your needs. Not sure whether to hire an EC?  Here is some food for thought: Educational Consultants (EC) were originally designed to help parents with their teens to find the right colleges and with the application process.  With the growth and expansion of technology, the need for their assistance has become nearly extinct.  Parents and students have found they can find quick results on CollegeBoard.org for about every school and every question they have. As the shift in teen help increased, they seemed to branch out into the residential treatment field. Most have not experienced what you are going through.  Most do not know what you are dealing with at home.  Only an experienced parent that has been there really knows that feeling of helplessness.   In the teen help industry a term that has been coined is the EC Shuffl...

At your wit's end? Who can help? When a parent first hits that brick wall of having a teen that is out-of-control they literally are clueless at who to call or what to look up on the Internet. Being in the dark can lead to making rash decisions and this is something you don't want to do when it comes to your child. Some parents assume that Educational Consultants are the experts to turn to for placement of troubled teens and in some cases, that may be true.  However, like with many other purchases in life, you need to know what you are buying into. Educational Consultants were originally designed to help parents with their teens to find the right colleges and with the application process. As many know, this has been replaced with CollegeBoard and many other websites online. As the shift in teen help increased, they seemed to branch out into the residential treatment field.  Most have not experienced what you are going through.  Most do not know what you are d...

Especially during the holiday season, this can be one of the hardest decisions a parent can make. Sending a child to a residential program/school is a major decision. It is not one to be taken lightly or to be decided on overnight.  Usually a teen's behavior has been slowly escalating and a parent knows that deep down things are not getting better.  As much as you hope and pray that things will change, this is only typical teen behavior, sometimes it just isn't. With drug use and substance abuse rising - more dangerous and deadly ingredients being used, such as spice and inhalants, parents have reason to be concerned.  It isn't your marijuana of generations prior - it is so much worse and in many cases - addictive and deadly. If you have reached your wit's end and now surfing the Internet for help, remember, anyone can build a website.  Anyone can put up nice pictures and create great content.  You need to do your due diligence. Years ago I struggled w...

Do you suspect your teen is using drugs?  Are you saying - it is only pot?  All kids experiment?  Really?  Sure, maybe in the sixty's - but do you know what is on the streets today?  Your denial could literally lead to the death of your child.  Don't have your head in the sand - be in the know. Daily Marijuana use increased among 8th, 10th, and 12th graders from 2009 to 2010. Among 12th graders it was at its highest point since the early 1980s at 6.1%. This year, perceived risk of regular marijuana use also declined among 10th and 12th graders suggesting future trends in use may continue upward. In addition, most measures of marijuana use increased among 8th graders between 2009 and 2010 (past year, past month, and daily), paralleling softening attitudes for the last 2 years about the risk of using marijuana.  Marijuana use is now ahead of cigarette smoking on some measures (due to decreases in smoking and recent increases in marijuana use)....

Wilderness Programs (Brat Camps) What is a " Wilderness Program ?"  If you are a parent that is struggling with a teenager that is out-of-control , you will surf the Internet and attempt to find help.  Many parents first think of boot camps as a resolution - a way to teach our teen a lesson.  Then you realize that maybe that is not the best avenue and you are somehow directed to wilderness programs.  Not always, but especially if you have hired an Educational Consultant , their first recommendation is commonly Wilderness programs. There are many very good Wilderness Programs in our country, however the question remains, are they necessary or should you go directly to where most teens eventually end up:  Residential Therapy program. Wilderness programs are mainly designed to break a teen down.  Although they are not punitive, in comparison to a boot camp, they are primitive, forcing your teen to appreciate the luxuries he had at home. ...

Get sound, objective help for your teen. Recently launched yet has helped over 30,000 families, www.TeenHelpAdvice.com offers over 25+ years of combined experience in the big business of teen help schools and programs. Offering sound and objective advice, the Teen Help Advisors are experts in the "business" of the teen help industry.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  Many parents are duped on a daily basis when they have reached their wit's end.  They are feeling desperate - alone - and hopeless. No more!  We have been there - I have been duped, my teen was abused and I am determined that this doesn't happen to other parents as they believe they are getting help. The questionable decision to hire an Educational Consultant (EC) c an be answered very quickly. Just yesterday (and many times prior) I hear from parents that have spent at least $2500 to as much as $5000.00 for the services of an Educational Consultant .  Yesterday this desperate mother...

Who is helping and who is profiting? Over and over again I will hear from parents that are either considering hiring an Educational Consultant , or have hired one. What is an Educational Consultant? (EC)  They are an individual that may or may not have qualifications to help you place your troubled teen into a treatment center.  Years ago, EC's were mainly used for parents that needed help in finding the right colleges for their teens, help with their applications etc. As our world turned, the need for help in the troubled teen industry grew.  It became a new outlet for EC's to make money.  As the Internet was growing, more and more parents and teens were able to do all their college searches online - and get information at their finger tips.  Well, the Internet has expanded again - with the help of Facebook, Blogs, forums etc more parents are able to do their searches for residential therapy without the help and extra fees of an EC.  However, it i...

What is the real purpose of Wilderness? For the many people that know me, they know I don't believe in Wilderness programs , nor do I advocate for short term programs .  This doesn't mean there aren't reputable Wilderness programs in our country.  There are, however chances are very good, after your teen attends one - within the first 30 days, the program will tell you it is likely you will need to go on to a residential therapy program.  Which means.... More money Another trip Another therapist Another schedule Etc.... Back to the first one - the costs are exuberant for Wilderness , and to combine it with another at least $50K for a boarding school is simply out of the equation for many families. I am writing this information today for two reasons.  One, I have received several calls this week alone by parents that fell for the Wilderness road.  Now they are out of money and need  a program, but the funding is no where to be found....

Going to therapy seems to be the first step parents take when they realize their tween or teen is starting to go down a negative path. It is important to find a therapist that specialize with adolescents - one that understands the "teen talk". But what happens when therapy isn't working?  What happens when your teens starts to manipulate the therapist?  What happens when the therapist believes it is time for the next step? It is time to look for a boarding school, one that offers the support your teen needs both emotionally and academically.  It is important to understand, although education is absolutely a necessity, you have to realize that the teens needs to be emotionally balanced in order to do well at anything.  This doesn't mean you look at programs that don't offer academics, such as many Wilderness programs, parents need to keep 3 major issues in their mind. Academic's/Education Clinical/Therapy Enrichment Programs/Extra-Curriculum Activiti...

It's not "just pot anymore The first semester of school is over, now we are on to the final few months - and your teen is debating whether they "want" to finish school?  Excuse me - you mean teens have options? Believe it or not, yes they do!  In Florida, at the age of 16 your teen can sign themselves out of school - of course they need your consent, however if you don't, truancy charges will linger. Now what?  Virtual school? Homeschooling? GED?  Who would have thought - generations prior graduating high school was  never an option.  Today is a new world. Who is in control? Let's compound this and you suspect or know your teen is using drugs, drinking and seriously mom, it's no big deal?!  Really? Now they develop an attitude of defiance, start sneaking out, completely disrespectful to your home and your boundaries..... You find this is getting out-of-control and you realize that you have a limited time to get them help since at the ag...

Parent Awareness – Valuable Article when Searching for Schools and Programs THIS IS MY CHILD This is my child, where did I go wrong? Most likely you didn’t, sometimes life gives us stumbling blocks that are put there for a reason. None of us is perfect, parenting is not easy, children don’t come with manuals, and we can’t be blamed for all the bad in this world. Parenting is probably one of the most difficult jobs to do. That, combined with working a full-time job and juggling household chores, as well as many other activities in life, can lead to turmoil in many lives. As a parent, we need to consciously make time to get to know our kids, and our kid’s friends. This can be very difficult with our schedules; however, a necessary step to be able to get to know your child and build trust. This is my child. Good or bad, they don’t deserve abuse. If your child needs help from outside sources (Therapeutic Boarding School, Residential Treatment, etc), you need to feel confident there are saf...

Tips for Parents on Surfing the Internet for Teen Help Schools and Programs - Do you Need an Educational Consultant? Internet Search – Many parents will use Search Engines to type in key words and search terms to describe their child. Unfortunately, in many cases, the parent will see the same group of programs/schools with different titles and descriptions, however leading back to the same organization. Parents that are not familiar with this industry can easily be misinformed. An example is a key word such as Military Schools. Are you aware that reputable Military Schools are not for at risk children? Please review http://www.helpyourteens.com/military_schools_and_academies.html . The term Spamdexing has been used when organizations will purchase many websites and URL’s all leading back to the same group. The vast number of key words and search terms, no matter what the issues, may all be filtered back to the same group. This can be very deceiving and detrimental when searching for th...