The Blog of P.U.R.E. and Sue Scheff

Teens and preteens are very susceptible to the desire to feel as though they belong and are accepted among their peers. However, peer pressure can often have a very negative influence on how they behave, and, even more importantly, how they feel about themselves. As your child enters middle school, peer pressure can escalate as classmates begin pushing the boundaries set by both parents and schools. As parents, you are still the largest influence in your kids’ lives, giving you an opportunity to help them cope with this peer pressure. Here are ten ways you can help. Be Proactive – Don’t wait for problems or topics to arise to discuss them with your middle school child. Instead, be proactive and have the hard conversations about drugs, alcohol, tobacco and sex with her. Let her know your point of view and the hard truths about these subjects that they will face one way or another. Speak Up – When you notice a certain friend or group of friends seems to be a poor in...

Let's face it, our teens want to fit in.  Even as adults we want to be part of a group but we also realize that there are limits and boundaries that we know we have.  Teenagers don't have the years of wisdom that we have to rely on.  Some adults still make mistakes with judgment of others. How can we help our teens to avoid these pressures when faced with them at school or otherwise? Here are three very good tips from one of the Five Moms at Stop Medicine Abuse : Start the conversatio n by telling teens that you understand it could be difficult for them to say no to their friends in peer pressure situations. Talk through ways they can handle different scenarios in which their friends are peer pressuring them to engage in risky behaviors such as drug or medicine abuse. Help them devise an “exit” plan in case they find themselves in an uncomfortable situation with their peers. Come up with a code word that they can text ...

What plans do you have for your teen this summer? Will they have a job? Will they be hanging out in the neighborhood?  Maybe catching up on some community service hours and volunteering. Whatever you decide it is a fact to keep your teens busy so that they don't find themselves busy in a way that may not be what you want.  Like a trip to the local sheriff's office! Do you know your teen's friends? Do you know where your teen surfs online? Do you know where your teen hangs out? Do you know what your teen does in their spare time? If you answered no to any of these questions, now it the time to find out.  Summer has a lot of down time.  There is nothing wrong with vegging a little and taking some time to relax from their studies, but be sure they are playing it safe and keeping within boundaries you approve of. Do you suspect your teen is using drugs? Drinking? Are you skeptical of the kids they are hanging out with? Is your teen being secretive about ...

I hear many times that parents say that their teen is hanging with a negative peer group, however you have to remember, it is your teenager that is choosing to be with them. There is no denying how awkward the teenage years are. Surging hormones, increasing responsibility, and feeling a lack of control over their lives have long caused stress among teens. Parents might struggle to find sympathy when their teenager moans how hard their life is but it is true more than ever for today's teens. A parent's job is to help guide their child through this time, hopefully having them emerge from the chrysalis as a competent adult. One problem teens struggle to deal with is pressure. Non-stop access to social media has made it difficult for them to learn to switch off. As their parent, you can help them develop the skills they need to manage pressure in a positive way, without turning to damaging alternatives like alcohol or drugs. 1. Switching Off Put your teen in an...

Yes, this is a trend I am hearing more and more of - and it is quite disturbing. Parents fear their teens using drugs - well, some parents even make excuses - "it's just pot, I did it when I was a teen," please understand - this is not the marijuana you did when you were a teen - in most cases marijuana can be laces with other substances that can be addictive or even deadly. Now phone calls are coming more frequently of teens that are dealing drugs not only to support their habit - but to make money. A cry for help?  Yes!  Well, no - not according to the teenager, but the parents should wake up and realize they have to intervene before this escalates to major drug trafficking and your child is no just arrested for possession but now is dealing with drug trafficking, selling to minors - and maybe more serious charges. I recently wrote an article for School Family  - 10 Tips to Help Prevent Teen Drug Addiction .  This combined with getting your teen outside...

As a parent, YOU can make the right choices. Do you really need to pay someone up to $5000.00 to tell you that you need to send your child to the woods for a glorified camping trip aka Wilderness program then to a residential program or are you capable of doing this yourself?  Let's look at this..... Maybe you can save yourself some money...... Educational Consultants were originally designed to help parents with their teens to find the right colleges and with the application process. As the shift in teen help increased, they seemed to branch out into the residential treatment field. Most have not experienced what you are going through.  Most do not know what you are dealing with at home.  Only an experienced parent that has been there really knows that feeling of helplessness. What is the EC Shuffle ? Find out more and try not to get into the mix.  Parent Consultants do not employ this type of assistance for your needs.  " The EC I spoke with only...

Teen peer pressure is a serious concern. If your teen has a choice of their childhood friend or a less desirable group of friends (in an effort to fit into a group that they believe are cool) - who would they choose?  Their BFF or EX? What path will your teen choose? National Drug Facts Week is Monday, October 31st through Sunday, November 6th, 2011. Sponsored by the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), National Drug Facts Week is an annual official health observance designed to shatter the myths and spread the facts about drug abuse and addiction. National Drug Facts Week (NDFW) is a health observance week for teens that aims to shatter the myths about drugs and drug abuse. Through community-‐based events and activities on the Web, on TV, and through contests, NIDA is working to encourage teens to get factual answers from scientific experts about drugs and drug abuse. Download the NDFW Info Sheet ! PeerX : RX abuse is drug abuse. Over and over again pare...

Do you know your teen's "friends?" Teen Gang and Gang Violence has taken on a new light in today’s age.    Gangs prey on the weak child that yearns to fit in with a false illusion they are accepted into the “ cool crowd ”. With most Gangs as with Teen Cults, they can convince your child that joining “their Gang or Cult” will make them a “well-liked and popular” teen as well as one that others may fear.  This gives the teen a false sense of superiority.  Remember, many of today’s teens that are acting out negatively are suffering with extremely low self confidence.  This feeling of power that they believe a gang or cult has can boost their esteem; however they are blinded to the fact that is dangerous.  This is how desperate some teens are to fit in. In reality, it is a downward spiral that can result in damage both emotionally and psychically. We have found Teen Gangs and Teen Cults are s...

Jealousy isn't only an emotion that teens will experience, many adults have jealous or envious moments in their life. However when jealousy starts to prevent your own happiness and causes you emotional distress, it may be the time to look deeper into what is causing this. Teens will usually experience jealousy with their peers - whether it is a friend that has a family of means, or a popular teen that was blessed with the looks of a supermodel, jealousy and envy can become a point of contention and sadness. Many people feel jealous from time to time. Jealousy is easy to deal with, once you understand what it's teaching you.  This can be complicated, however it can also be a learning experience that will end up benefiting you or your teen. A recent study in the journal Developmental Psycholog y found that adolescents who experience low self-esteem and extreme loneliness tend to worry that friendships are threatened by others, causing jealousy that can lead ...

Teen Truth: More teens are using alcohol to get drunk . More teens are smoking pot regularly. Even more teens are having sex , and many without protection. Don't always where they tell their parents where they are. Many teens are driving and texting . Some teens engage in dangerous behavior such as trunking to be cool. Most teens know more about technology than you do. Parent's beliefs: My teen is not doing drugs , but their friends are. My teen tried alcohol, but it was only once. My teen would not have sex, they know the consequences. It is not my teen, it is the teens they are hanging with . They only smoked pot once, that really doesn't count. My teen is so smart, good looking, very athletic, they know better. My teen knows the dangers of Internet, they would never chat with strangers . The Florida Department of Health (FLDOH) in partnership with WAHI Media has created TeenTruth.org , an interactive, web-based initiative promoting po...

G.A.S.P. - Games Adolescents Shouldn't Play is a very serious concern for parents everywhere. The Choking Game is a misunderstood activity causing death and suffering for thousands of families worldwide. It often begins with high-achieving teens choking each other as a way to get high without the risk of getting caught with drugs or alcohol. It ends with thousands of kids dying or suffering permanent brain damage each year. Part of being an educated parent is learning about prevention of dangerous activities, such as the Choking Game. Prevention within your own family begins with an honest discussion about the consequences of participating in The Choking Game. Remember - 75% of Middle School aged children already know about it - chances are, you are not telling them something they have not already been exposed to by their peers. The problem lies in what their peers have failed to mention- the dangers. Please also be aware that children as young as Kindergarten have been rep...

Last fall Dr. Michele Borba , TODAY Show Contributor, released her largest book ever! The BIG Book of Parenting Solutions - 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries. In a 10 part series on Examiner, I explored only a tiny fraction of what BBPS (BIG Book of Parenting Solutions). Parenting Resolutions with Solutions is a 4 part series that shared 101 topics that are covered in BBPS. Today the topic is bad friends (social scene section). Turn to page 315 and learn about how your kids are choosing friends and why. Find out the problem, the red flags, and why sometimes change is necessary. You will also find solutions! Here are some signs and symptoms that your child may be choosing less than a desirable peer group. Secretiveness. Your child becomes very secretive, locks his room, and covers up what he is doing. Changes in appearance. Your child starts wearing "provocative" attire, wants only pricey or name-brand items, has a complete change in hairs...

The Choking Game is a very serious concern for parents and teens. If you are not familiar with this ‘game’ take a few minutes to learn more. G.A.S.P. – Games Adolescents Shouldn’t Play website has some valuable information you can’t afford to ignore. What is the Choking Game? It’s not a game at all-just an act of suffocating on purpose. Adolescents cut off the flow of blood to the brain, in exchange for a few seconds of feeling lightheaded. Some strangle themselves with a belt, a rope or their bare hands; others push on their chest or hyperventilate. When they release the pressure, blood that was blocked up floods the brain all at once. This sets off a warm and fuzzy feeling, which is just the brain dying, thousands of cells at a time. Why are kids doing this? Some do it for the high, which can become addictive. Others do it because it’s “cool” and risky. Most kids who have died from this were active, intelligent, stable children who thought this was a safe alternative t...

The Choking Game is a very serious concern for parents and teens. If you are not familiar with this 'game' take a few minutes to learn more. G.A.S.P. - Games Adolescents Shouldn't Play website has some valuable information you can't afford to ignore. What is the Choking Game? It's not a game at all-just an act of suffocating on purpose. Adolescents cut off the flow of blood to the brain, in exchange for a few seconds of feeling lightheaded. Some strangle themselves with a belt, a rope or their bare hands; others push on their chest or hyperventilate. When they release the pressure, blood that was blocked up floods the brain all at once. This sets off a warm and fuzzy feeling, which is just the brain dying, thousands of cells at a time. Why are kids doing this? Some do it for the high, which can become addictive. Others do it because it's "cool" and risky. Most kids who have died from this were active, intelligent, stable children who th...

The Choking Game is a very serious concern for parents and teens. If you are not familiar with this 'game' take a few minutes to learn more. G.A.S.P. - Games Adolescents Shouldn't Play website has some valuable information you can't afford to ignore. What is the Choking Game? It's not a game at all-just an act of suffocating on purpose. Adolescents cut off the flow of blood to the brain, in exchange for a few seconds of feeling lightheaded. Some strangle themselves with a belt, a rope or their bare hands; others push on their chest or hyperventilate. When they release the pressure, blood that was blocked up floods the brain all at once. This sets off a warm and fuzzy feeling, which is just the brain dying, thousands of cells at a time. Why are kids doing this? Some do it for the high, which can become addictive. Others do it because it's "cool" and risky. Most kids who have died from this were active, intelligent, stable children who tho...

Teen gangs are a serious concern for parents. Whether you have a son or a daughter, if they belong to a gang or want to join one, it is time for you act immediately. Do you know who your teens friends are? Have you meet their parents? Do they have similar interests as your teen has? What do they do in their spare time? Take the time to be an educated parent! Most important, be proactive! Source: Connect with Kids Girls in Gangs “He wanted me to sell drugs. I’m like, ‘no I can’t do it, you know, I want to be a doctor when I grow up, and I don’t want to get in any trouble.’” – ChanTrell, Age 16 The Office of Juvenile Justice has some good news for us and some bad: according to the latest numbers, from 2005 to 2007, the arrest rate for boys went down four percent, but for girls it’s up 10 percent. Experts say one reason is more girls are joining gangs. In the small park, there are swing sets, a small stream, and dozens of families with small children playing. It is the park where Roger R...

Youth Gangs Gang activity in the United States is not always the way that the media portrays it. Gang violence is not restricted to inner city settings, nor is it simply the activity of minority groups. There are gangs in cities, suburbs, and even small town America and the violence that many of these gangs encourage and participate in is costing far too many lives. Most gangs are a loosely organized group of individuals who control a territory. A significant portion of gang violence stems from fighting over territory, which may be used to distribute drugs. Additionally, gangs tend to denote members through a sign or color. Two of the most well known gangs in the United States are the Bloods and the Crips which use the colors red and blue respectively. Gangs often prey on the teenagers who wish to fit in. Being part of a gang can provide teenagers sought after friends and popularity. By joining a gang, teens have a social network already established for them with friends who are litera...