The Blog of P.U.R.E. and Sue Scheff

Do you know your school's bullying policy? As school will be opening, unfortunately we may start hearing about the ugliness of bullying and teasing of kids.  Many, if not most, schools have employed an anti-bullying policies and programs.  But what happens if they don’t work? A special guest post from Blair Wagner of A Way Through helps sort through this dilemma. Why Anti-bullying Programs Miss the Mark As I direct my focus to a new school year about to begin, I reflect back on the past school year and the approaches I’ve seen schools take to address school bullying among their students and their staff.  The one that really misses the mark is starting an anti-bullying program. It is common for us to see something we don’t like and to join an anti-[fill in the blank] campaign.  We talk about, write about, and complain about how bad it is.  Our focus is on resisting the thing we don’t like, in this case bullying.  We push agains...

Hunter Perkins - Accused of Bullying Commits Suicide Is there another side of bullying ?  Has our country overacted in some instances? On October 11th, life ended for 16 year-old prep-school student Hunter Perkins of Virginia.  He shot himself in his basement.  Teen suicide . We hear of it, probably too often, however it is sometimes connected to a teen being a victim of bullying.  Just last month we heard of the tragic suicide of Tyler Clementi after his classmate sent a viral video of Tyler's private life on the Internet. Hunter Perkins attended The Groten School, which is considered an elite school.  He was accused of creating sexually demeaning comics about another student with two other boys.  Walter Perkins, his father, in no way condoned this behavior but feels the school overeacted when they asked him to withdraw his son from the school. According to the Boston Herald , Mr. Perkins said: ' I was going to see that he...

Are you as shocked and horrified at the events that happened to 15 year-old Josie Ratley as many of us are? Isn't it time this violence and bullying stopped ? Facebook has become one of the strongest social networking sites to help spread news, assist causes and bring people together with common interests. Recently " Pray for Josie Lou Ratley " group was created. This group has been established to foster coordination, donations and positive actions on behalf of Josie and her Family. Please join them as they band together to right this terrible wrong! Take the time to leave your good wishes, prayers and support. Get Well Cards can be sent to: Broward General Medical Center Patient Josie Lou Ratley 1600 S. Andrews Avenue Fort Lauderdale, FL 33316 954-355-4400 The Ratley family does not have health insurance to pay for Josie's medical care. You can donate at any Wachovia Bank branch or mail your donations to: Wachovia Bank 2989 PGA Boulevard Palm Be...

After one of the most horrific acts of violence by teens in South Florida, which left 15-year old Michael Brewer with burns over two thirds of his body, 3 of the 5 teenagers accused of this despicable crime will be tried as adults. This is a strong and solid message by Broward Circuit Judge Lee Seidman . What type of child or teen does this unconscionable act to another person? It is very disturbing to believe this type of violence exists and that bullying can reach a level of nearly killing another person. Should minors be charged as adults? In some instances, such as this one, many believe that to be true. This crime was so heinous that adults have a hard time comprehending how anyone could do this to another person. As a parent we need to take the time to talk with our children about this incident. Open up your lines of communication, talk about bullying , discuss consequences and answer their questions and concerns honestly. Neighbors 4 Neighbors has created the Michael Brewer Fu...

Its seems that bullying is a growing and stinging problem. Years ago we remember being teased or made fun of, but today it seems bullying has become more vicious and malicious. We now know that sticks and stones can break your bones - but words CAN hurt you! The emotional damage can sting a lot longer than a physical injury. Take the time to be an educated parent. Here is a timely article from Connect with Kids with some great tips and resources. Source: Connect With Kids Bullying in Schools “It's a big world out there... there's not just one group of kids, there's not just one girl who you need to be friends with. Your life doesn't end if you move away from the group you're having trouble with and make friends somewhere else.” – Stacey DeWitt, President, Connect with Kids, Inc. Online bullying has gotten a lot of attention lately, but a new study by the U.S. Justice Department and the C-D-C shows that the old fashioned kind of bullying hasn't gone away. Accordi...

Last week the horrific story of the fifteen year old, Michael Brewer , who was doused in alcohol and set on fire by other teens! The story literally stunned our community. According to the Miami Herald , the doctors say he is making significant progress. The five teens are charged with aggravated battery in the attack earlier this month at a Broward County apartment complex. Authorities say they were retaliating in a quickly escalating dispute over a video game. Recently Michael Brewer's parents have sent a letter of thanks (via CBS News ) to everyone for their prayers, donations and support. Read here . Ross Ellis founded one of the leading organizations to help STOMPOUTBULLYING in combination with Love Our Children USA has offered some excellent advice and tips for parents, educators and everyone working with children today. 1. Bullying hurts and being a victim of any kind of bullying feels really bad. And it’s important for you to know two things: You’re NOT alone and It’s NOT ...

During this STOMPOUTBULYING Awareness week, we need to recognize that some kids and teens are afraid to attend school. Bullying can be harsh and cause emotional harm to your kids. As a parent, we need to take steps to learn more about bullying and how it affects our children. Is your child the bully? Be proactive and get involved. Don't allow kids to hurt others with malicious words. Stick and stones will hurt you, and so will words. Source: Connect with Kids Scared to go to School “We know that there’s a sense that kids have, that frequently when somebody does engage in bullying nothing happens. That’s sometimes because it’s viewed as, ‘this is just what kids do’ or it’s just not recognized as bullying or something out of the ordinary that should not be accepted.” – Joel Meyers, Ph.D, psychologist A new national poll on children’s health finds that only a quarter of American parents would give their child’s school an “A” in preventing bullying and school violence. In fact, eve...

Celebrities STOMP Out Bullying With Love Our Children USA NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg proclaims October 5th BLUE SHIRT DAY NEW YORK September 28 2009: Love Our Children USA announced that NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg is proclaiming October 5th BLUE SHIRT DAY to signify the importance of National Bullying Prevention Awareness Week, October 4th – 10th. Love Our Children USA created National Blue Shirt Day on Monday, October 5th , where thousands of kids and adults will wear blue shirts as they make their way to school or to the office as a grassroots national movement to STOMP Out Bullying . The organization launched the STOMP Out Bullying Campaign in October, 2008 and its new dedicated Web Site this past Monday. STOMP Out Bullying focuses its efforts to reduce Bullying and Cyberbullying, decrease school absenteeism and truancy, educate against homophobia and racism and deter violence in schools, playgrounds and communities across the country. To date over 53,000 have committed to STOMP...

Get ready for Dr. Michele Borba's BIG Book of Parenting Solutions , releasing just in time for school. Here is another sneak peak about a very important topic, bullying. REALITY CHECK: Research finds that 49 percent of kids say they’ve been bullied at least once or twice during the school term, but only 32 percent of their parents believed them. By Michele Borba Those school doors will be opening soon and excitement is in the air. But many kids may not be sharing that excitement and in fact may be a bit jittery. And they have good cause. One study found that one out of every four children will be bullied by another youth in school this month. If your child is bullied, it means that peers are intentionally causing him pain. Reports also confirm that bullying is starting at younger ages and is more frequent and aggressive that ever before. Do know that if your child is bullied chances are he or she did NOTHING to cause it. Bottom line: bullying behavior must be taken very seriously....

As school is opening, be an educated parent - read more about school fights and parenting tips to help you help your child. Source: Connect with Kids School Fights “People are just throwing words, and words turn into action and they start hitting each other.” – David, 16, on school fights he has witnessed One in three teens, both boys and girls, say they’ve been in a school fight, according to the latest survey by the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center. In the dynamic of fighting, there is an attacker and a victim, and typically, one more child: a witness, who is also a victim. Some students say fights are almost commonplace. But for every child in a fight, there are a hundred others who watch, and it’s frightening. Ron, 17, says just a couple of weekends ago, a brawl broke out in the stands at his high schools basketball game. “The stands emptied, everybody came to the middle of the floor and just kind of converged. I think there were a few people taken to jail,” say...

Bullying, hazing, teasing and more - parents need to start educating themselves and their children about this harmful issue and how serious it is. As I stated in yesterday’s Blog , the tragic loss of young lives is unspeakable - and when you hear that these kids were constantly bullied and teased, there has to be a stop to it. Hazing is just as serious. Many teens/tweens are pulled into this horrible activity in an effort to “fit in” or think they will be with the “cool” group. Think twice - learn more now. Source: Connect with Kids HAZING “I think that hazing by nature is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s when it gets humiliating or cruel or overly anxiety-provoking and it becomes a traumatic event, we have to get rid of that.” – John Lochridge, Ph.D., psychologist Fifteen-year-old Sean Butkus sees hazing as a pretty normal part of team sports. “Hazing is a way of initiating a kid and seeing if they’re determined enough’ he says. “Just like, it’s like a test to see if you know they’r...