The Blog of P.U.R.E. and Sue Scheff

As I share with parents,  deciding on sending your child to a therapeutic boarding school  is a major decision not to be taken lightly.  It’s not about teaching your child a lesson, it’s not about punishing your teen or scaring them straight — residential therapy is a huge financial and emotional decision that is made after you have exhausted all your local resources. Residential therapy is a choice made out of love to give your child a second chance at a bright future. Usually a parent has reached their  wit’s end ; they have been to local therapy, some have even tried having their teen stay with a relative.  Some have been through extensive out-patient programs but it isn’t until you remove (residential therapy) the teen from their environment that they will be able to heal and gain an  objective  view on what is the root of the issues. In the majority of families that contact us, these are  not  bad kids, these are kids tha...

Don't be a parent in denial. There is help. After the tragic events of Sandy Hook Elementary the world sits in a state of horror and mourns for the children and heroes we lost. The questions linger, could this have been prevented?  Is it about gun control?  Is it about mental health? Working with parents of at-risk teens on a weekly basis, I know firsthand that families are at their wit's end searching for help.  Some are literally scared of their own child.  Some are scared of what they read online about residential treatment centers.  I don't blame them - I was once a victim of this industry myself, which is why I am a Parent Advocate today.  I have made it my mission to help parents find safe and quality residential therapy for their struggling teens. Let's discuss if your teens does need residential care? How To Know When It's Time to Try Residential Therapy You have read most parenting books and behavioral strategy -- removin...

You have finally reached your wit's end.  It has come to a point where you have exhausted all your local resources.  The one on one therapy is no longer working, if it ever did.  The fact is, it is a fight to even get your teen to attend a session.  If you do get them to attend - how many times to they actually manipulate the therapist to actually believe there isn't an issue at all...... in some instances the blame can come right back to the parent! Yes, manipulation of a teen is priceless.  They are the best at what they do.  However now is the time for the parent to be the best at what they are - a parent. You decided it is time for residential therapy and you jump on the Internet and you start with Google by typing in key words.  Teen help, struggling teens, defiant teens, teen help programs, military schools, reform schools, troubled teens, rebellious teens, etc. What you will find is a list of marketing arms that are very quick to "sell y...

Parenting adolescents today has become more of a challenge than a joy with many families.  Not all, thankfully, but there are more issues surrounding peer pressure, bullying, social media, music, movies and other influences that can cause a negative environment. Drug use: Huffing , inhalants, sniffing, smoking pot Alcohol use: Underage drinking , supervised drinking Defiance: Blatant disrespect, especially towards parents Disengaged: No longer wanting to participate in family activities Change of peer group:  Choosing friends that are not a good influence Obviously this list could go on and on as more and more teenagers are engaging in harmful or dangerous activities. Is your teen reaching a level that he/she are out-of-control? Going down a negative path with only a few years left of high school? Do you fear for their future if they continue down this road? Typical teenage behavior , which much of it can be, however what happens when this ty...

This is  big decision, take your time! Are you confused yet? Looking for teen help and realizing this is a BIG BUSINESS? So, your teen is driving your crazy.  You are at your wit's end . You have finally decided you need outside help. You have exhausted all your local resources.  Local therapy doesn't help, heck, you can't even get your teen to attend.  Your teen is failing in school, he/she is very smart yet doesn't want to attend school and believe they know it all.  Many say, " typical teen ", but as a parent, we know it is more than that. Where did our good kid go?  Good kids making bad choices - and they don't need to be placed in an environment that will make them worse in my opinion - learn from what happened to me! As a victim of the WWASPS organization - I am often called or receive many emails about our (my daughter and I) experiences with them.  Obviously not pleasant.  Though I am happy to say the program she wa...

Anderson Cooper speaks with Sue Scheff Yes, I was more than thrilled to meet Anderson Cooper and must say I was humbled by his sincere concern for those that are victimized by others that are being destroyed online by vicious keystrokes. For those that don't know my story, it starts in 2000 and ended in 2006 with a landmark victory for Internet Defamation and invasion of privacy.  My stories were written and published by Health Communications Inc (HCI - home of Chicken Soup for the Soup book series) and over the past decade, my mistakes and my knowledge has helped thousands of people and families to make better decisions for their teens and their virtual lives. Whether you are considering residential therapy or thinking about creating a Facebook page, you will learn from the mistake I made.  After spending years in litigation - with two major victories - and almost being silenced to tell my story, I am here to not only share my story, but to be sure what happened to ...

Are you at your wit's end? Summer is over – school is into their first quarter and your teen’s behavior is only escalating!  You are soon driven to your wit’s end! When a parent is reaching their wit’s end, they are most at risk for making mistakes – mistakes that can cost them financially as well as emotionally.  Good kids – bad choices:  Where did my innocent toddler go?  When therapy isn’t working This is not a science, in most cases when a belligerent, defiant and entitled teen is faced with a therapist or counselor, they will either close up like a clam, or tell the most amusing stories – which can be called – manipulation. Did you know it was your fault?  It really isn’t, but in some cases the teen can actually convince a therapist that it is the parents that have the problem, not them.  Again, another example of manipulation. Are you ready for a residential program? Have you exhausted all your local options? How do you know if y...

Wilderness Programs (Brat Camps) What is a " Wilderness Program ?"  If you are a parent that is struggling with a teenager that is out-of-control , you will surf the Internet and attempt to find help.  Many parents first think of boot camps as a resolution - a way to teach our teen a lesson.  Then you realize that maybe that is not the best avenue and you are somehow directed to wilderness programs.  Not always, but especially if you have hired an Educational Consultant , their first recommendation is commonly Wilderness programs. There are many very good Wilderness Programs in our country, however the question remains, are they necessary or should you go directly to where most teens eventually end up:  Residential Therapy program. Wilderness programs are mainly designed to break a teen down.  Although they are not punitive, in comparison to a boot camp, they are primitive, forcing your teen to appreciate the luxuries he had at home. ...

Order today on Amazon. Recently Sue Scheff was featured on Momtourage (iVillage) answering tough questions about raising today's teens. "A parent asked about invading their teen's privacy, such as reading their emails, text messages or journals," Scheff continues, "It is a matter of when safety trumps privacy. Problem Teens? Are you at your Wit's End? Author Sue Scheff celebrates a decade of helping families with troubled teens . In 2001 Sue Scheff created Parents' Universal Resource Experts, Inc. (P.U.R.E.) in an effort to help educate parents when they have reached their wit's end with their teenager. This year P.U.R.E. is celebrating over a decade of assisting over 50,000 families. During these ten years, Sue Scheff has been interviewed by many media outlets including ABC News, 20/20, Lifetime Balancing Act, The Rachael Ray Show, Fox News, CNN, Headline News, InSession, Wall Street Journal, Miami Herald, Forbes, USA Today, Su...

How many parenting books have you depended on? Your teen or tween is starting to act in ways that are foreign to you.  Whether they are hanging with peers that are less than desirable or starting to fail in school when you know they are more than capable.  They are underachieving, they are good kids making some bad choices and slowly escalating into a person you barely recognize. Many of us read those baby books before our first child came into the world – and after he or she arrived, we always opened a parenting book with answers and explanations.  But when it comes to teenage time – it can be a totally different story! Defiance is the tone of your home, and disrespect has become second nature. First you try therapy or counseling, there has to be something physically wrong.  In most cases, that is not the story.  There usually isn't a pill to fix a teen that is spiraling out-of-control. During these therapy sessions, you are gathering and reading ...

What happened to that sweet 5 year-old you sent off to Kindergarten?  What happened to that athletic tween that loved T-Ball? What happened to my little angel that loved going to the mall with me? What happened to my child that always worked so hard to get good grades and always worked to make me proud? Where did my kind son go? Where did their childhood go? Today's society is challenging for teenagers - but can be even more distressful for their parents.  When slowly they watch their good child turn into a tween or teen that they barely recognized.  Underneath the questionable clothing, the piercings we had to reluctantly agree to - and the tattoos they got on their own - our child is deep in there somewhere! After exhausting all local resources, whether it is an excellent adolescent therapist to local support groups and even out-patient facilities, you are looking at a teen that is heading down a dark road.  It is time for parents to dig deep and find t...

It isn't "just pot" anymore. When it comes to parenting your teenagers it is never too late or too often to talk about the dangers of drug use . Many parents will ignore the warning signs or make excuses for them , but when reality hits home that your teen is using drugs, it is critical you get involved.  Communication is always key to prevention, however there are times when your teen is no longer listening.  It doesn’t mean you stop talking. Intervention starts at home. If you suspect drug use , talk to your teen.  If they admit to using drugs, and are determined not to quit or even tell you they can quit if they want, take it to the next level.  Seek out local adolescent therapy or counseling.  In some cases this will be a brickwall but in other situations it can be the beginning of understanding why your teen is turning to substance abuse . If your teen escalates to a level that is uncontrollable, or simply defiant to a...

When it comes to parenting your teenagers it is never too late or too often to talk about the dangers of drug use . Many parents will ignore the warning signs or make excuses for them , but when reality hits home that your teen is using drugs, it is critical you get involved.  Communication is always key to prevention, however there are times when your teen is no longer listening.  It doesn’t mean you stop talking. Intervention starts at home. If you suspect drug use , talk to your teen.  If they admit to using drugs, and are determined not to quit or even tell you they can quit if they want, take it to the next level.  Seek out local adolescent therapy or counseling.  In some cases this will be a brickwall but in other situations it can be the beginning of understanding why your teen is turning to substance abuse . If your teen escalates to a level that is uncontrollable, or simply defiant to all your rules and boundaries – and most ...

When it comes to parenting your teenagers it is never too late or too often to talk about the dangers of drug use . Many parents will ignore the warning signs or make excuses for them , but when reality hits home that your teen is using drugs, it is critical you get involved.  Communication is always key to prevention, however there are times when your teen is no longer listening.  It doesn't mean you stop talking. Intervention starts at home.   If you suspect drug use , talk to your teen.  If they admit to using drugs, and are determined not to quit or even tell you they can quit if they want, take it to the next level.  Seek out local adolescent therapy or counseling.  In some cases this will be a brickwall but in other situations it can be the beginning of understanding why your teen is turning to substance abuse . If your teen escalates to a level that is uncontrollable, or simply defiant to all your rules and boundaries - and most imp...