The Blog of P.U.R.E. and Sue Scheff

Worried about your teen? We are rounding up second semester and looking at spring break.  Parents are worried as their high school student (teenager) is still failing, refusing to complete assignments and still believes that education is a farce. On the other hand we know our child is more than capable of getting A's and B's yet they are barely bringing home D's.  College?  We are praying they finish high school.  What is wrong with society? Why are kid of the notion that they can just drop out of high school and get a GED?  Years ago GED's were frowned upon--only for those that were either adjudicated or maybe medically necessary.  Now it is too easy for these kids to just drop out. Then we have teens that want to smoke pot on a daily basis.  You know it is legal in some states. You know their parents do it.  Really, is it that bad?  Well, as a matter of fact - it is. Marijuana, especially when sold on the streets to our kids, is...

Why change your name all the time? What are you hiding from? Seneca Ranch Second Chance Youth Ranch Carolina Springs Academy Magnolia Christian Academy Next...... If a t first you don't succeed.....  Are you at your wit's end with your at-risk teenager?  Surfing the Internet and tired of all t he marke ting ploys you are finding? Before you make your plu nge , take 5 minutes to rea d my s tory - www. aparentstruestory.com - I was once in your shoes.     I get it, we need help, your teen needs help.  There are excellent re sources out there.  However when a p rogram is consta ntly changing their name, what are they running from?   Th ink about it--- do you really want to trust your child with p eople are always changing their name? Be an educated parent.  Get yo ur teen help.  Do your research.   This is only my opinion - based on my firsthand experiences.  Parents are feel to do what they feel is best f...

Not your teen, right? WRONG! Really? Have you stopped to consider your child (teenager) has made a choice to hang out with that peer group?  They have free will not to hang out with that negative choice of friends--however that is where they believe they fit in. Why? Low self-esteem?  Belief that it is a cool group?  Desire to be part of a group even if it is a less than desirable one?  I speak to parents on a weekly basis and often hear how parents can make excuses for their teen.  Whether it is a friend's fault--the school's fault--the fault of an ex-spouse--you name it, rather than putting the blame on the person that is making the bad choices, some parents have a difficult time admitting their once good child is now making such negative decisions. Don't be a parent in denial; you are only hurting your child.  The sooner you recognize your teen needs help the sooner you can get on the path to recovery and healing in your home. Do you feel...

Post Newtown tragedy and we as a society not only mourn the loss of precious lives, we are debating what we can do from to prevent this from happening again. The conversation of gun control and mental health will continue for a long time. As someone that works with parents of struggling teenagers, I am faced on a weekly basis with families that are at their wit’s end.  They have exhausted all their local resources, the therapy sessions are going nowhere (if you can get your child to attend), school has usually reached their limit with the student, and in some cases the local authorities are now involved. Over the past few weeks we have heard from parents that feel like their teenagers are holding them hostage in their own homes.  They will punch holes in walls, they will scream at their parents, the level of disrespect today is at an all time high.  Sadly, though we are only hearing about this in the media lately, it has been going on for years. Som...

Is your teen smoking pot? You have about reached your wit's end , your teenager is driving you nuts over this holiday school break. The school grades have come in only to find out that your once honor roll student is now failing.  They have announced they are no longer interested in the sport they used to love or the instrument they used to play. Their group of friends are changing, their personality has gone from happy to withdrawn and secretive, not to mention the defiance. Typical teen?  Maybe, but what happens when it escalates to an extreme that parents feel like they are being held hostage in their own home? What happens when a parent discovers their teen is using drugs?  Just marijuana?  Just a few beers? Don't be a parent in denial.  Be proactive. There will come a time when the one hour once a week of therapy just isn't working.  Your teenager is manipulating the therapist - in some cases the therapist will just continue the game, aft...

With the tragedy of Newtown, CT we are faced with so many unanswered questions. The grief of the loss of life is unimaginable - when you look at the age of the children and their protectors that died doing what they were trained to do, it is simply unconscionable that anyone could do such a heinous act. We are hearing issues of gun control combined with mental health.  At the end of the day, like teenagers using illegal drugs (and adults for that matter) if someone is determined to find a gun and shoot people, they will. The fact is we need to get people the help they need before they get to the point of wanting to seek out guns for killing - or drugs for getting high. Though that is an extreme example, many parents are seeking help for their struggling teen.  They are at their wit's end .  They feel like they are hostage in their own home.  After exhausting all their local resources they realize that residential treatment is their last resort - but how can...

Parents call our organization on a daily basis.  I created my Parents' Universal Resource Experts, Inc since I was duped and my daughter was abused in a residential therapy program over 10 years ago. I have become a voice and some have called me a crusader. I honestly don't care what people call me, what I care about is what parents can learn from the mistakes I have made and gain from the knowledge I have acquired over the past decade. Carolina Springs Academy harmed my daughter - they also lied to me.  Duped me - and today they are closed, however they still have other programs operating.  Years ago - they had a long list of programs, thankfully today that list is only a fraction long. Today I just heard from a parent that it is believed they just opened another program - or possibly just re-named one of their Utah ones. Youth Foundation located in LaVerkin, Utah is believed to be owned and operated by the same parent organization that I sent my daughter to ...

You have finally reached your wit's end.  It has come to a point where you have exhausted all your local resources.  The one on one therapy is no longer working, if it ever did.  The fact is, it is a fight to even get your teen to attend a session.  If you do get them to attend - how many times to they actually manipulate the therapist to actually believe there isn't an issue at all...... in some instances the blame can come right back to the parent! Yes, manipulation of a teen is priceless.  They are the best at what they do.  However now is the time for the parent to be the best at what they are - a parent. You decided it is time for residential therapy and you jump on the Internet and you start with Google by typing in key words.  Teen help, struggling teens, defiant teens, teen help programs, military schools, reform schools, troubled teens, rebellious teens, etc. What you will find is a list of marketing arms that are very quick to "sell y...

Yes, it is happening again. We thought maybe a change of schools - maybe a new school year - maybe a fresh start - maybe a new maybe..... Let's face it, as parents we hope and pray that our teenager will grow out of that defiant behavior.  This age of entitlement and spoiled rotten brat syndrome is getting worse by the day. The only refreshing thing is to know you are not alone!  Though it doesn't make it easier. One thing I can't stress enough is parents can't ignore the warning signs of a teen going down a negative road, especially if they are in their late teens.  Remember once they turn 18 they are no longer in your control - though they may still be living with you, you can't force them to get help. If your teen is 16 or 17 years old (especially 17+) and they are spiraling out of control,  it is imperative you seek help for them.  So many times, unfortunately, the once a week therapy session rarely is enough to make a difference at this point....

Parenting adolescents today has become more of a challenge than a joy with many families.  Not all, thankfully, but there are more issues surrounding peer pressure, bullying, social media, music, movies and other influences that can cause a negative environment. Drug use: Huffing , inhalants, sniffing, smoking pot Alcohol use: Underage drinking , supervised drinking Defiance: Blatant disrespect, especially towards parents Disengaged: No longer wanting to participate in family activities Change of peer group:  Choosing friends that are not a good influence Obviously this list could go on and on as more and more teenagers are engaging in harmful or dangerous activities. Is your teen reaching a level that he/she are out-of-control? Going down a negative path with only a few years left of high school? Do you fear for their future if they continue down this road? Typical teenage behavior , which much of it can be, however what happens when this ty...

How many time do I hear from parents how their teen has become someone they barely recognize?  Their attitude. Their defiance. Their blatant disrespect. Clearly they are rebellious and how are we supposed to handle this? Some great tips are here! How to Handle Teenage Rebellion Many parents with teenagers are well aware that raising a teen presents a challenge. A teen’s attitude can fluctuate from being kind and well-behaved to rude and rebellious in a matter of seconds. Many want to know how to handle teenage rebellion, but several are unaware of where to start. Continue reading to learn how to handle your teenager’s rebellious stage and start establishing the role you’d like in their life. 1. Listen One thing that many parents have difficulty with is listening to their teen. It’s crucial for both parent and teen to talk and share feelings with one another. In order to communicate effectively,be aware of where your child is coming from and what his/her ...

It isn't "just pot" anymore. When it comes to parenting your teenagers it is never too late or too often to talk about the dangers of drug use . Many parents will ignore the warning signs or make excuses for them , but when reality hits home that your teen is using drugs, it is critical you get involved.  Communication is always key to prevention, however there are times when your teen is no longer listening.  It doesn’t mean you stop talking. Intervention starts at home. If you suspect drug use , talk to your teen.  If they admit to using drugs, and are determined not to quit or even tell you they can quit if they want, take it to the next level.  Seek out local adolescent therapy or counseling.  In some cases this will be a brickwall but in other situations it can be the beginning of understanding why your teen is turning to substance abuse . If your teen escalates to a level that is uncontrollable, or simply defiant to a...

Parenting is probably one of the hardest jobs there is. During the holidays the added stress can cause contention as well as family disputes . However if you are dealing with an at-risk teenager, a teen that was already struggling down a negative path - maybe experimenting with drugs or hanging with a less than desirable peer group or has failed their first semester of school, holiday times can be more strenuous. Dealing with troubled teens at any time of the year is not easy, it is a challenge.  Dealing with troubled teens during the holidays can be double the trouble.  With time off from school, many families have both parents working with limited supervision at home which leaves many teens on their own.  Have you checked your medicine cabinets lately? Parents' Universal Resource Experts , founded in Broward County, has been helping families with teens in trouble for almost a decade.  One of the common threads is during the holiday...

Knowing the Difference: Runaway, Missing or Sneaking? When a teen turns up "missing," parents must initially decide whether the child is missing, has run away, or simply sneaked out. There are differences, and those differences are very important. A missing child could have been abducted by someone against his/her will and is being held, possibly threatened. A missing child can also be a child who is simply missing; the child did not return home when expected and may be lost or injured. Runaway teens and sneaking teens are often confused, as both leave a supervised environment of their own free will. Sneaking teens leave home for a short period of time, with intent to return, most likely during the night or while a parent can be fooled. A runaway teen leaves home or a supervised environment for good, with intent to live separate from his/her parents. Runaway teens will likely have shown symptoms prior to running away. In most cases, a teen runs away after a frustrating and he...

Are you at your wit’s end ? Are you experiencing any of the following situations or feeling at a complete loss or a failure as a parent? You are not alone and by being a proactive parent you are taking the first step towards healing and bringing your family back together. • Is your teen escalating out of control? • Is your teen becoming more and more defiant and disrespectful? • Is your teen manipulative? Running your household? • Are you hostage in your own home by your teen’s negative behavior? • Is your teen angry, violent or rage outbursts? • Is your teen verbally abusive? • Is your teen rebellious, destructive and withdrawn? • Is your teen aggressive towards others or animals? • Is your teen using drugs and/or alcohol? • Does your teen belong to a gang? • Do they frequently runaway or leave home for extended periods of time? • Has their appearance changed – piercing, tattoo’s, inappropriate clothing? • Has your teen stopped participating in sports, clubs, church and family functio...