The Blog of P.U.R.E. and Sue Scheff

What teens need to know before they start dating. One day, your little one is skipping down the sidewalk with her hair in pigtails and a firm grip on a teddy bear. The next, it seems like, she’s bouncing down the stairs on her way to greet her first date. Watching kids grow and mature, especially during the teenage years, can be a bittersweet experience. It can also be the harbinger of the most difficult period of your parenting career. Preparing your child for the world of adult interactions, romantic entanglements and independence isn’t always easy, especially when you’d much rather they stayed small forever. Just as you can’t keep a child from growing into an adult, neither can you stem the tide of romantic attraction and the desire to date. All you can do is hope that you’ve instilled the values that you set out to, and that you’ve adequately prepared your teenager for the complicated and sometimes painful world of dating. The Friendship Code There are certain rules that c...

It's a right of passage, going on their first date.  Are they ready? Are you? One day, your little one is skipping down the sidewalk with her hair in pigtails and a firm grip on a teddy bear. The next, it seems like, she’s bouncing down the stairs on her way to greet her first date. Watching kids grow and mature, especially during the teenage years, can be a bittersweet experience. It can also be the harbinger of the most difficult period of your parenting career. Preparing your child for the world of adult interactions, romantic entanglements and independence isn’t always easy, especially when you’d much rather they stayed small forever. Just as you can’t keep a child from growing into an adult, neither can you stem the tide of romantic attraction and the desire to date. All you can do is hope that you’ve instilled the values that you set out to, and that you’ve adequately prepared your teenager for the complicated and sometimes painful world of dating. The Friendship Cod...

Is your teen old enough to date?  This is usually a decision based on your teen's maturity level.  Are they responsible? Do they respect your rules and boundaries?  Let's put it in to reality and look at some statistics to share with them. Dating Abuse Statistics: Young adult dating violence is a big problem, affecting youth in every community across the nation. Learn the facts below. Too Common Nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner in a single year. One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence. One in 10 high school students has been purposefully hit, slapped or physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend. One quarter of high school girls have been victims of physical or sexual abuse. Why Focus on Young P...

Teen dating: Have fun, be safe. Let's face it, when our teenager wants to start dating it can be extremely stressful for the parent.  The real life pain of falling in love and breaking up can devastate a youth.  It is important you not only talk to your teens about dating and the emotions they may go through, but also about dating safety.  Teen dating violence is a serious concern - and an issue that is becoming more prevalent.  What is Teen Dating Violence? Teen dating violence is a pattern of controlling, abusive and aggressive behavior in a romantic relationship. It can happen to anyone, regardless of race, gender, age or socioeconomic status. Abusive behaviors may include some of the following: Physical: punching, kicking, slapping, choking, pinching, hair pulling Verbal: name calling , put downs, threats , spreading rumors Emotional: Feelings of isolation, fear, worthlessness, low self-esteem Sexual: pressuring to have sex, rape, forcing unprotected...

From time to time I receive guest Bloggers that have written excellent articles on information I believe my reader will benefit from.  As school is in full swing now, teen relationships are forming. How do you know if your teen is in a healthy relationship? Is Your Teen in an Unhealthy Relationship? Relationships are an essential part of life; without them, we would all wither and die of loneliness. However, there are times when relationships are the cause of immense suffering – when they’re abusive, one-sided or unhealthy, they tend to take more out of you than they give in return. It’s hard enough for adults to tackle relationships maturely, so when you know your teenager is interested in the opposite sex and has started to date, it’s only natural that your parental and protective instincts soar high. As long as your child is happy and cheerful for the most part, you don’t worry – you’re the indulgent parent watching your child grow into an adult. But when you sens...

Many parents will cringe when they even think about their precious "children" reaching the age of dating. Whether you believe it is 16 years-old or 26-years-old, there are worries and stress at all ages. As a parent, worrying is a built in feature that comes with parenting - especially teens. Teen dating can be an exciting and fun time where self confidence is built up, and dating techniques are learned. Teens also learn how to be both assertive and compromising, how to be giving to another and how to expect the same in return. All of this is a sort of practice session in order to find that "right" person. Unfortunately, too often teens start dating with no preparatory talks from their parents and then they can lead to trouble. According to Planned Parenthood , about 10 percent of teenage girls in the U.S. become pregnant before age 20. And the U.S. Attorney General reports that 38 percent of date rape victims are girls between the age of 14 and 17. Talk to yo...

This month is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. Since 2006 Congress has officially recognized the first week in February as " National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week ," and this year, for the first time, Congress has designated the entire month as a time to raise awareness of this important issue! You can do your part to raise awareness of teen dating violence and abuse this month by encouraging people to join the MADE (Moms And Dads for Education To Stop Teen Dating Abuse) movement! ANYONE can join the MADE coalition by visiting: http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/made/petition.html Parents need to open the lines of communication with their teens. Love is Not Abuse is an organization that provides information and tools that men, women, children, teens and corporate executives can use to learn more about the issue and find out how they can help end this epidemic of domestic violence. Love is Not Abuse also offers a Parent...

By Connect with Kids “I’ve never had one guy come into my life that hasn’t hurt me.” – Jenny, 18 years old Jenny, 18, has been hurt as many times as she’s been in love. At age 13, her boyfriend was physically abusive. “He grabbed me by my neck one time, and I had fingerprints, bruising,” she explains. Later, Jenny dated Mateo. “He promised me, he said I promise you, I’ll never hurt you like they did,” Jenny says tearfully. “And I promised her that, but I didn’t keep my promise,” Mateo, 17, admits. “Verbal abuse, emotional. You name it,” he says. Research in the Journal of American Medicine finds that 42% of teens have been the victim of dating violence. 17% have been the perpetrator. “Violent activity and dating violence begins early in adolescence; you know, begins when dating begins,” says psychiatrist Dr. Lynn Ponton, author of a book about the dating lives of teenagers. She says too often kids are so excited to have their first boyfriend or girlfriend that they rush into a relatio...