The Blog of P.U.R.E. and Sue Scheff

Do you have a good teen making bad choices? Have they changed their peer group? Withdrawn from family activities? Underachieving in school? Dropping out of their favorite sport groups or clubs? Are they obsessed or addicted to their devices ? Do you suspect drug use ? Have you exhausted your local resources, therapy isn't working - have you tried a hospital stay, they won't take the medication. Out-patient therapy failed..... Residential therapy has been very successful for many family's - but it can be very scary if you are online reading the haunting stories that some former students (with a chip on their shoulder) or otherwise have written. I frequently educate parents - that they need to do their due diligence - the 'teen-help' industry is a big business, you need to know who you're talking to and what's their motivation. Since 2001, we've helped educate parents on this industry. I was that parent that was scammed and duped by 'sale...

Just because your teen has turned 18 doesn’t necessarily mean they are an adult. As a matter of fact, I have spoken with many parents and explained that if they are having issues at 14, 15 and 16 — when 18 rolls around, it can seem like an earthquake. The problem is, teens  believe  they are an adult, yet their actions are still screaming child! There are excellent young adult programs that can inspire, encourage and educate your son or daughter. These programs offer structured support, typically education in accordance to what their needs are (whether they need to get their high school diploma or start college courses), life skills, enrichment and wellness programs to help them lead a healthy and balanced lifestyle. Some offer the therapeutic component as well as ongoing medical care if your child needs this. The biggest hurdle can be convincing your son or daughter to attend. Most parents are surprised that it can be easier than they thought. Whether they are fa...

By Constance Scharff, PhD Prescription ADHD medications like Adderall, Ritalin, and Vyvanse are becoming increasingly popular for overworked and overscheduled college students. ADHD stimulants strengthen the brain’s inhibitory capacities, by increasing the amount of certain neurotransmitters, like dopamine, epinephrine, and norepinephrine. Students like these drugs because they enhance their study efforts. Prescription “ study drugs ” are commonly abused to increase concentration for last minute cramming or paper writing. The numbers vary significantly by school, with the greatest proportion of users at private and “elite” universities. Some researchers estimate about 30% of university students use stimulants non-medically. Students believe that they take these stimulants for the “right reasons,” to be more productive in classes and to stay afloat in a flood of intense competition. In the competitive atmosphere at many schools, students seldom take the time to consider short or l...

As we are in the summer months it can lead to more time for experimentation of substances.  Maybe your teen wants to fit in with a different peer group or maybe they have been using drugs and want to try new ones. It is important for parents not to be in denial.  The best of kids can make bad decisions.  Think of your own childhood - we all learn from mistakes.  Sadly today drugs are much more dangerous and deadly than they were generations earlier. 10 Tips for Prevention and Awareness of Drug Use: 1.   Communication is the key to prevention . Whenever an opportunity to talk about the risks of drinking and driving or the dangers of using drugs presents itself, take it and start a conversation. 2.   Have a conversation not a confrontation . If you suspect your teen is using drugs, talk to her. Don't judge her; instead, talk to her about facts behind the dangers of substance abuse. If your teen isn't opening up to you, be sure you find an adolescen...

Summer is almost here and parents are searching for summer programs to help their struggling teens.  Many hope that a good summer programs will make a difference in their negative behavior. Today parents will complain about the following issues with their teenagers: Underachieving.  Capable of getting A's yet satisfied with C's and D's. Dropping out of their favorite sport or activity. Smoking pot -- occasionally - though parents may blame it on the friends, please keep in mind, it is your child making the decision to inhale that joint or pop that pill.   Drinking - again, it may be the friends you want to blame, but are they holding the bottle to your teen's mouth? Sneaking out of the house Defiance, lying, stealing Maybe they have changed their peer group this year? Let's face it, with a combination of any of these above, you could be traveling down a negative path. Chances are very good a short-term summer program will not address a long term...

Holiday blues isn't only about adults, teens can struggling with depression too. Teen suicide is a very real concern. Sometimes parents will believe that their behavior is typical teen "stuff", but in reality it their child is deeply hurting. I fully understand that many parents hesitate wanting to consider residential therapy over the holidays , however you have to think about your child's future.  Once Christmas, one New Year's Eve, one  Easter compared to the rest of their life is worth getting your teen's emotional health back. Some warning signs: Withdrawn, secretive Change of appetitie Change of friends, or no friends  Sadness Poor performance in school: grades are dropping Rage, defiance, disrespectfulness Frequent headaches, stomach aches Check their arms, legs, stomach for scarring (cutting) Check their social media sites for writing about death and other dark comments Learn more from http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ ...

There was a day you gave birth to a child that you believed was your heart and soul and you would protect that child from all the bad things in this world.   From infancy to toddler to elementary school and hanging that beautiful finger painting artwork up on your refrigerator door, the joy and pride of parenthood kept growing. Then we start the tweenage era.   That middle-school itch.   The peer pressure, the "where do I belong" and "who will be my friend" in the lunchroom.   Today life growing up from a child to a tween to a teen is escalated by technology of the digital access that kids have today.   It is like they are growing up in the Jetson generation only hundred times faster.   It is advised that parents should have the "tech talk" with their kids even before the "sex talk."   That is a strong indicator of the importance of how cyber-life has taken over our lives--both young and old. Drug dealers have figured this ou...

Making the right choice is not always easy. A question my colleague and I are frequently asked during this time of the year is, "The holidays are here, should we send our teen into a residential program now or wait until after the holidays are over?" Parents' Universal Resources Experts has been helping families for over a decade, actually over 12 years now, and the answer hasn't changed. If you wait for the holidays to be over, you may be risking your teen getting  into further trouble as well as causing more stress and friction during your family holiday season. As school is out teenagers, if they don't have constructive plans, will sometimes get involved with hanging out in places they shouldn't be with people they shouldn't be with.  Today we are facing a time when many parents are working full-time and it is difficult to monitor our kids 24/7 and nearly impossible to tell them who to pick as their peer group. We explain to parents, as dif...

I remember those dreadful years raising a defiant teen - and the threat of running away.  When they finally do it, it can be a parent's nightmare.   If you are currently dealing with a runaway, act immediately. Do not waste any time in utilizing every resource you can to find your child. The list below details a plan of action and tips for finding help. Tips For Finding a Runaway Keep an updated phone list with the home and cell numbers of your teen’s friends. Using the phone list, call every one of your teen’s friends. Talk immediately with their parents, not their friends, as teenagers will often stick together and lie for each other. The parent will tell you anything they know, including the last time contact was made between their child and yours. They will also know to keep closer tabs on their own child. Keep an updated photo of your child on hands at all times. With this photo, create one-page flyers includin...

Help your teen arrive safely to get the help they need. It is a common question, "how will I get my teen to the program, he is refusing to do anything?" We help parents with struggling teens that are looking to give them a second opportunity at a bright future -- many times this includes a residential treatment center or therapeutic boarding school. Rarely does their teen want to attend these programs.  By the time the parent calls us, their teenager is usually at the point of defiance, maybe experimenting with drugs, alcohol, sneaking out, failing in school, and possibly worse. Getting help in not in the teenager's immediate plan - they would prefer to "hang" with their new less than desirable peer group. With this many parents have had to hire transport services. Don't panic, like with everything on the Internet - you can find the good and the bad online. I encourage parents to do their due diligence when it comes to selecting your transpor...

Many parents call us all the time with two scenarios. 1)  My teen refuses to go to a therapist or counselor or 2)  My teen has been in therapy for years and it hasn't made a difference.  Even has changed therapist several times and nothing changes. So why will residential treatment make a difference? Fact is, we don't have a crystal ball but there is definitely a difference.  The one-on-one therapy once a week at home (in a doctor's office) is completely different than being in a therapeutic setting where all your child's activity is geared towards building him up to make better choices and also helping him to reflect on why he was making the negative ones that brought him to where he is now. Removing your teen from their comfort zone of home and mostly of their peer group can substantially change the way they think and react to situations.  You can finally peel back the layer they have to protect their egos (attitudes) and determine where all this...

Parenting teenager's is not easy. When you’re raising a teenager, your house can feel like a war-zone that’s scattered with potential land mines masquerading as casual questions. Every interaction can feel like it has the potential to blow up in your respective faces, leaving parents wondering what the safest course of action is in terms of avoiding an argument. During the tumultuous teenage years, these are 10 of the most reliable ways to avoid fighting with your child. Establish Rational Boundaries – During adolescence, your teen is revisiting the same mindset of early toddlerhood that leaves her looking for ways to test boundaries as a means of asserting her independence from you. Making sure that she knows some boundaries cannot be challenged lays a foundation for calm, rational interaction. Just be sure before you make those rules that you understand your teen’s need for a reasonable amount of independence, and avoid overly harsh authoritarian rules that le...