The Blog of P.U.R.E. and Sue Scheff

Making the right choice is not always easy. A question my colleague and I are frequently asked during this time of the year is, "The holidays are here, should we send our teen into a residential program now or wait until after the holidays are over?" Parents' Universal Resources Experts has been helping families for over a decade, actually over 12 years now, and the answer hasn't changed. If you wait for the holidays to be over, you may be risking your teen getting  into further trouble as well as causing more stress and friction during your family holiday season. As school is out teenagers, if they don't have constructive plans, will sometimes get involved with hanging out in places they shouldn't be with people they shouldn't be with.  Today we are facing a time when many parents are working full-time and it is difficult to monitor our kids 24/7 and nearly impossible to tell them who to pick as their peer group. We explain to parents, as dif...

I hear this question a lot.  Of course the answer is only opinion based - and may depend on your child and your needs. Not sure whether to hire an EC?  Here is some food for thought: Educational Consultants (EC) were originally designed to help parents with their teens to find the right colleges and with the application process.  With the growth and expansion of technology, the need for their assistance has become nearly extinct.  Parents and students have found they can find quick results on CollegeBoard.org for about every school and every question they have. As the shift in teen help increased, they seemed to branch out into the residential treatment field. Most have not experienced what you are going through.  Most do not know what you are dealing with at home.  Only an experienced parent that has been there really knows that feeling of helplessness.   In the teen help industry a term that has been coined is the EC Shuffl...

It may start with pot, but where will it end? With the recent tragedy of Corey Monteith it leaves the door open for conversation. You may have a teen that is smoking pot.  I speak to many parents that believe that "it is only marijuana."  Maybe that is true, but have they considered what happens when their highly intelligent (because they also share with me how smart their teenager is) teen decides to maybe try some pills or alcohol with it? What is addiction? Addiction has long been understood to mean an uncontrollable habit of using alcohol or other drugs. Because of the physical effects of these substances on the body, and particularly the brain, people have often thought that “real” addictions only happen when people regularly use these substances in large amounts. Addiction – there is a psychological/physical component; the person is unable to control the aspects of the addiction without help because of the mental or physical conditions involved. – ...

When it comes to sending your child to residential therapy it is probably one of the hardest decisions a parent can make.  It just doesn't seem normal to send your teenager to a behavioral modification program.  Let's face it - we all know that sending them to college is part of the circle of life, but no one prepares us for the potholes that some families face - residential treatment centers. As the holidays approach a teenager's behavior can sometimes escalate and this can leave a parent with a decision that they don't want to make.  How can they send their child into a teen help program during this time of the year? As a Parent Advocate and Parent Consultant, I share with parents that you have many years ahead of you to have many wonderful holidays together - however in some cases, it can mean saving your child's life by removing them from not-so-safe situations - especially if they are involved in drug use or hanging out with unsavory groups of...

I hear many times that parents say that their teen is hanging with a negative peer group, however you have to remember, it is your teenager that is choosing to be with them. There is no denying how awkward the teenage years are. Surging hormones, increasing responsibility, and feeling a lack of control over their lives have long caused stress among teens. Parents might struggle to find sympathy when their teenager moans how hard their life is but it is true more than ever for today's teens. A parent's job is to help guide their child through this time, hopefully having them emerge from the chrysalis as a competent adult. One problem teens struggle to deal with is pressure. Non-stop access to social media has made it difficult for them to learn to switch off. As their parent, you can help them develop the skills they need to manage pressure in a positive way, without turning to damaging alternatives like alcohol or drugs. 1. Switching Off Put your teen in an...

You have finally reached your wit's end with your teenager. You have exhausted all your local resources, your nerves are fried, you have removed all their privileges and nothing is making a difference - you are literally a hostage to your own child! What now? It is time for outside help... but you get online and realize first the sticker shock.... (price of programs and schools) then you see all these horror stories - EXACTLY WHO SHOULD YOU BELIEVE? Your gut! Years ago I was in your exact spot - and I didn't listen my gut, and the results were not good, however it had a purpose.  The reason was to be a part of helping parents not make the mistakes I did. When you get online you will see many toll free numbers going to places unknown.  Usually sales reps that will more than happily give you a list of programs that they believe will be perfect for your child - but how do they know? Point is - you don't want a sales rep - you don't want a marketing arm, y...

Are you looking for residential therapy for your at-risk teenager? Are they a good teen making bad choices?  You don't want to place them in a school or program that has a hard-cord element, a type of teen that will actually create more negative issues. After all, your teen is highly intelligent, was once a rising athlete, interested in sports, music or other clubs at school or even in your community.  Now they are hanging out with less than desirable peers and have become someone you don't even recognize. You hop on the Internet, as most 2012 parents do and start typing in all sort of key words - and before you know it - you are bombarded with all sorts of programs and schools and "sales reps" that seem to have answers - or so you think. This is when you need to step back and understand that YES, you do need help, you do need an intervention and you do need to remove your teen from their environment enable to get them the help they need.  Let's face it, t...

As a parent, YOU can make the right choices. Do you really need to pay someone up to $5000.00 to tell you that you need to send your child to the woods for a glorified camping trip aka Wilderness program then to a residential program or are you capable of doing this yourself?  Let's look at this..... Maybe you can save yourself some money...... Educational Consultants were originally designed to help parents with their teens to find the right colleges and with the application process. As the shift in teen help increased, they seemed to branch out into the residential treatment field. Most have not experienced what you are going through.  Most do not know what you are dealing with at home.  Only an experienced parent that has been there really knows that feeling of helplessness. What is the EC Shuffle ? Find out more and try not to get into the mix.  Parent Consultants do not employ this type of assistance for your needs.  " The EC I spoke with only...

Especially during the holiday season, this can be one of the hardest decisions a parent can make. Sending a child to a residential program/school is a major decision. It is not one to be taken lightly or to be decided on overnight.  Usually a teen's behavior has been slowly escalating and a parent knows that deep down things are not getting better.  As much as you hope and pray that things will change, this is only typical teen behavior, sometimes it just isn't. With drug use and substance abuse rising - more dangerous and deadly ingredients being used, such as spice and inhalants, parents have reason to be concerned.  It isn't your marijuana of generations prior - it is so much worse and in many cases - addictive and deadly. If you have reached your wit's end and now surfing the Internet for help, remember, anyone can build a website.  Anyone can put up nice pictures and create great content.  You need to do your due diligence. Years ago I struggled w...

Join me on Twitter and FB Do you think there are more parents on Facebook or Twitter? Now, if I had to guess, I would say that more parents are active on Facebook than Twitter. Just going by the numbers, Facebook has over 750 million subscribers. I know that as a parent, I spend more time on Facebook. However, I have found that Twitter is a great source for all types of connections and resources. Just like anything on the internet there is a lot to sort through to get to the good stuff. That is why I wanted to write this post and share with you some of the best parenting experts that I have found on Twitter. Of course, these folks have websites and Facebook pages too, if you don’t hang out on Twitter. I will post those links as well. 1. Brian R. King, LCSW – @brianrking Brian is a fantastic resource for families and children on the autism spectrum. He is an adult on the autism spectrum and is also the father of three sons on the autism spectrum. He has a unique and pow...

Are you struggling with a teen that was always a good kid - now making some horrible choices? Are they hanging out with kids that are questionable? Did you get a report card that was less than acceptable? Have you seen evidence of them smoking or using other substances?  Maybe drinking? Don't be parent in denial!  You are only prolonging them getting the help they may need.  You don't want to see them get arrested - you want to see them get back on a positive road to a bright future. Join us on Facebook - and LIKE our community of professionals, parents and educators that want to help. Also visit www.HelpYourTeens.com for a free consultation.

Wilderness Programs (Brat Camps) What is a " Wilderness Program ?"  If you are a parent that is struggling with a teenager that is out-of-control , you will surf the Internet and attempt to find help.  Many parents first think of boot camps as a resolution - a way to teach our teen a lesson.  Then you realize that maybe that is not the best avenue and you are somehow directed to wilderness programs.  Not always, but especially if you have hired an Educational Consultant , their first recommendation is commonly Wilderness programs. There are many very good Wilderness Programs in our country, however the question remains, are they necessary or should you go directly to where most teens eventually end up:  Residential Therapy program. Wilderness programs are mainly designed to break a teen down.  Although they are not punitive, in comparison to a boot camp, they are primitive, forcing your teen to appreciate the luxuries he had at home. ...

Get sound, objective help for your teen. Recently launched yet has helped over 30,000 families, www.TeenHelpAdvice.com offers over 25+ years of combined experience in the big business of teen help schools and programs. Offering sound and objective advice, the Teen Help Advisors are experts in the "business" of the teen help industry.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  Many parents are duped on a daily basis when they have reached their wit's end.  They are feeling desperate - alone - and hopeless. No more!  We have been there - I have been duped, my teen was abused and I am determined that this doesn't happen to other parents as they believe they are getting help. The questionable decision to hire an Educational Consultant (EC) c an be answered very quickly. Just yesterday (and many times prior) I hear from parents that have spent at least $2500 to as much as $5000.00 for the services of an Educational Consultant .  Yesterday this desperate mother...

It is all the kids he/she is hanging out with, it is not my teen.  If it weren't for those bad influences, my child would never act like that - or smoke pot..... Really - you want to believe that so badly, but in reality if your teen that is making the choice not only to hang with that negative peer group, he/she is also part of it!  So another parent of a teen he/she is hanging with is saying the same thing. Your teen has choices, he/she is making a choice of who their so-called friends are.  Your teen is making the decision to smoke pot.  Your teen is making a choice to stop studying and heading down a negative path. It is no different than a parent making a choice to be friends with their neighbor, who may not be the biggest gossip in the town.  If your teen is making bad choices that are escalating to a point that you are no longer able to control him/her, it is time to look at parent choices .  Seeking local therapy, youth groups, outpatient fa...

Who is helping and who is profiting? Over and over again I will hear from parents that are either considering hiring an Educational Consultant , or have hired one. What is an Educational Consultant? (EC)  They are an individual that may or may not have qualifications to help you place your troubled teen into a treatment center.  Years ago, EC's were mainly used for parents that needed help in finding the right colleges for their teens, help with their applications etc. As our world turned, the need for help in the troubled teen industry grew.  It became a new outlet for EC's to make money.  As the Internet was growing, more and more parents and teens were able to do all their college searches online - and get information at their finger tips.  Well, the Internet has expanded again - with the help of Facebook, Blogs, forums etc more parents are able to do their searches for residential therapy without the help and extra fees of an EC.  However, it i...

How many parenting books have you depended on? Your teen or tween is starting to act in ways that are foreign to you.  Whether they are hanging with peers that are less than desirable or starting to fail in school when you know they are more than capable.  They are underachieving, they are good kids making some bad choices and slowly escalating into a person you barely recognize. Many of us read those baby books before our first child came into the world – and after he or she arrived, we always opened a parenting book with answers and explanations.  But when it comes to teenage time – it can be a totally different story! Defiance is the tone of your home, and disrespect has become second nature. First you try therapy or counseling, there has to be something physically wrong.  In most cases, that is not the story.  There usually isn't a pill to fix a teen that is spiraling out-of-control. During these therapy sessions, you are gathering and reading ...

Choosing the right program takes time. You have come to a point that therapy isn't working, your teen is out of control, they are saying they are going to drop out of school, and not attending classes - now you found out they are smoking pot, maybe worse.  Of course we then shift into the blame game! Stop, listen to yourself -and take action.  Don't be a parent in denial - get your teen the help they need.  The Internet is a confusing and daunting experience, however a necessary tool when trying to decipher a field you are totally foreign to. Parent networking is priceless!  Talk to other parents that have had similar experiences. Move forward from wanting teach your teen that they need to appreciate what they have - it just won't happen in a boot camp, scared straight or even wilderness.  Sure - you will break them down "temporarily" but what happens with that "fright" wears off? Need help?  Visit www.HelpYourTeens.com where your family is ...