Sue Scheff: NextGen Parenting for Today's New Generation


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Source: Next Generation Parenting

Research by University of Kentucky, USA, provides the following guidelines to establish Innovative Parenting Techniques in this 6 areas.


Care for Self
• Establish habits of healthy eating, rest and relaxation, sleep, and physical activity
• Stay away from harmful influences; i.e., substances, people, activities
• Keep adult relationships healthy
• Demonstrate a realistic balance between their own needs and the needs of their children
• Celebrate what they do well
• Share strong feelings with other trusted people
• Show ability to cope with three major stressors in their lives
• Identify and make a plan for managing anger triggers
• Demonstrate two ways to express anger that are self-satisfying, acceptable to others, and help ccomplish a desired goal


Understand
• Identify nature’s rules about how children grow and change at all ages
• Describe four areas of development: physical/motor, social, emotional, intellectual/language
• Describe insightfully parents’ own growing up experiences
• Recognize the individual child’s unique characteristics
• Verbalize understanding of one’s own and children’s temperamental differences and implications or getting along together
• Evidence of ability to observe how children grow and change
• Reports of age-appropriate parent-child play activities and playthings that help development along


Guide
• Describe the meaning of discipline—teaching self-control and self-responsibility
• Describe the meaning of guidance—walking beside child to show the way, letting the child learn by doing as much as possible
• Give examples of the family as an interactive system
• Describe the difference between discipline and punishment
• Demonstrate a balance between parental warmth/acceptance and parental control/strictness
• Demonstrate consistency as a principle of living: Structure provides stability, trust, security
• Demonstrate use of preventive discipline practices—realistic expectations for behavior, open communication, family ground rules, limited choices that increase with age, appropriate structure and routines, monitoring behavior according to developmental and individual differences, positive responses (do’s instead of don’ts; praise for following ground rules), child-proofing the environment for all ages, avoiding over-involvement in activities
• Demonstrate ability to manage misbehavior—recognizing reasons for misbehavior, firmness, fair and reasonable limits, non-punitive discipline that works, logical and natural consequences, consistency in enforcement when misbehavior occurs

• Express parental feelings of affection in both word and action
• Plan and engage in activities that are enjoyable for both parent and child
• Give examples of supportive, give-and-take conversation with child old enough to talk
• Listen attentively to children’s thoughts and feelings
• Use child’s name often and positively when speaking to them
• Acknowledge child’s place in the family by discussing details of her birth, selection of her name, stories about her early years, similarity to ancestors, etc.
• Implement age-appropriate ways of playing with child
• Show evidence of daily reading with child
• Give examples of sincere praise for specific actions and accomplishments
• Help children develop a sense of family and cultural heritage
• Help children develop a sense of spirituality through involvement in related home and community activities

Nurture


Motivate
• Establish a learning environment in the home for both children and parents, i.e., comfortable chairs for reading and designated places to store books and newspapers; limitations on television watching and other noisy influences; quiet place, good lighting, work space, and designated time for homework; reading material of interest to children and parents; regular visits to public library
• View themselves as their child’s most important teacher
• Stimulate child’s curiosity and desire to earn by providing concrete, sensory experiences in and near the home as well as around the community, in nature, and farther away through family trips and study if possible
• Describe child’s unique learning characteristics and multiple intelligences, i.e., visual, auditory,kinesthetic (movement-oriented), linguistic, musical, mathematical-scientific, etc.
• Identify child’s learning problems and do something about them
• Provide language-rich activities
• Encourage and respond supportively to child’s efforts to learn
• Promote relatively conflict-free environment at home for maximum peaceful concentration on learning
• Assist with homework to appropriate extent
• Promote child’s responsible decision-making through modeling and guidance
• Teach and practice wise time management through family activities, modeling, and encouragement


Advocate
• Become acquainted with the community and its resources
• Locate reliable resources and growth opportunities for benefit of parent and children
• Describe a process to locate high-quality, affordable child care
• Build parent’s own circle of resources to establish a baby-sitting cooperative, car pool, play group, ports league, etc.
• Effectively represent child’s needs to organizations and agencies to make a link with the child
• Write a letter to or telephone the child’s school to set up a conference with the teacher to discuss things that are going well and those that may need improvement
• Write a letter to speak up for positive change toward more community family-friendly policies

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