Sue Scheff: Radical Parenting, Parenting From a New Perspective

Vanessa Van Petten has been such an inspiration to so many people and many parents! As a young adult she has given us the inside scoop on our teens and the way they are wired today! Her first fantastic book, You’re Grounded, How to Stop Fighting and Make the Teenage Years Easier, was written when she was 17 years old - helping parents see life through a teens eyes. Vanessa Van Petten is one of the nation’s youngest experts on parenting and youth. Her new website - Radical Parenting is becoming very busy!

Here is one of her most recent articles and I am confident many parents will enjoy reading it.


WHAT DO KIDS DO WHEN PARENTS ARE OUT

Last week I went over to a client’s house and was working with her on the time management lesson of my program. We were looking at her school planner and slotting in her homework and project schedule. I noticed that for Tuesday night she had highlighted, added stickers and highlighter smiley faces.

“Is it your birthday?” I asked.
“No, it’s the night of the 8th grade parent meeting at school!” She replied.
“Um, you get that excited for a parent meeting?” I questioned.
“Silly, we love parents night because the entire 8th grade can get online and watch videos and hang-out together, we have to make sure I get my homework done on Monday night!”

I am sure, that High School’s parents have no idea that the whole grade not only looks forward to parent meetings like birthday celebrations, but also that they class is bonding and throwing an online party in their respective homes across the city. (She let me blog about this, as long as I keep my promise not to share the school’s name.)

I think, this is a good thing actually:

-It makes them get homework done early

-It helps them bond with each other

-They are all at home, their really rebellious move is to video chat with, gasp, more than two people at once while mom and dad are out.

-The online environment has allowed for an outside of school recess. (I have many posts about how technology has blurred the lines between home, school and social life and this can be a very negative thing, so I want to have at least one article where it is good!)

-They encourage their parents to be involved. Because everyone wants to be able to go to the online party, kids are now encouraging their parents more than ever to join those committees, and attend meetings to stay informed…hey the schools need all of the help they can get!

I asked my teen advisory council and interns what they do when their parents are out, here are some of the answers, listed in order of popularity (there was a very long tail on this one of some very random activities–some of which I chose to include, some of which I left out).

1) YouTube Videos

2) Talk on the phone

3) Text

4) Raid the kitchen

5) Go on AIM/Skype/iChat

6) iTunes and/or listen to music

7) Watch TV/Movies

Invite friends/boyfriend/girlfriend over

9) Play video games

10) Masturbate

11) Prank phone calls

12) Go out

13) Look through parents room/desk/siblings room

14) The same thing I do when they are home

15) Homework

As you can see, it varies. A lot of the time, you can just ask them and they will tell you. Or show them this post and see if they find any of the answers surprising.

Popular posts from this blog

Teens Starting College: Transition Blues

Image
Mental illness continues to mystify the mainstream, and students already stressed and anxious about classes, relationships, jobs and activities end up suffering from the stigmas just as much as the conditions themselves. But they don’t have to nurture their pain in quiet. More and more individuals (students or not), their loved ones and organizations are speaking up in favor of psychological help in all its forms. The following list represents some of the most common conditions occurring on campuses globally, though by no means should it be considered a comprehensive glimpse at an issue far more broad and complex. Clinical Depression : At least 44% of college students have reported suffering from some degree of clinical depression — and the number only escalates from there as years tick past. Thanks to prevailing social stigmas regarding psychiatric help, only 23% of victims reported that they’d be comfortable discussing their treatment. Considering the amount of s
Read more

Teenage Mental Health Options

Image
Teenage mental health is a growing concern, since 2020 studies have revealed that adolescent depression and anxiety has doubled. This is also causing the rise of suicide ideation and   self-harm   as well as youth self-medicating.  Since 2001 we have helped  educate  parents regarding  mental health options   for troubled teens in addition to  therapeutic boarding schools . This is not a decision that is made lightly. Has your teenager’s behavior been  escalating  for  more than a year ? Are they becoming more withdrawn? Depressed or isolated? More common is the following: -Defiance (ADHD, ODD) -Anger, rage -Cell-phone addiction (self-destructs when the phone is removed) -School refusal (skipping classes) -Lacks motivation -Changing peer groups -Substance use (self-medicating) -Self-harm (relieves anxiety) -Change in eating habits -Poor hygiene   Your teenager may be suffering with mental health issues that need to be addressed as soon as possible. In many cases it could be  typical te
Read more

How to Find NATSAP Schools for My Troubled Teen

Image
  Searching for  schools for troubled teens online  can be tedious and confusing. If this is your first time searching for therapeutic boarding schools for your troubled teenager, learning the terminology will be one of your first lessons. 5 Tips to Untangle the Troubled Teen Industry Terminology “ My teen needs a Military school to teach them a lesson!”  WRONG. Military schools  are a privilege and honor to attend, they are not for defiant, drug-using, depressed, or other behavioral issues students. They do   not   provide mental health services – and if your teen is using drugs, drinking, or vaping now – by attending an open campus, it is likely s/he will consider the use again. However, this time when he is caught (typically three strike you are out) and the parents will forfeit their tuition. This is the same for any of the behavioral issues they are asked to leave or expelled for – you will be risking your tuition as well as  setting your child up for failure . 2.  “My teen needs
Read more