The Blog of P.U.R.E. and Sue Scheff

Studies have shown that teens that have families that get together for meals and other activities are less likely to be involved in risky behavior. In a world where there never seems to be enough time to get everything done, connecting with your kids and forming real, lasting relationships with them can seem more difficult than ever. There are ways to bolster your connection to your kids and find ways of fostering strong relationships, though, even when time is at a premium. These tips can help you make the most of your relationship with your children, laying the groundwork for an environment of love, close bonds and trust. Turn Screen Time into Family Time Instead of retiring to separate rooms at the end of the day to zone out in front of different screens, why not take the chance to turn screen time into family time? Arrange regular family movie nights, get invested in an age-appropriate show that everyone in the family can discuss and bring family game night into the ...

You have finally reached your wit's end. You have exhausted all your local resources. Your teen is refusing local therapy - not that it is working at this point anyway. Your teen has so much academic potential, however is refusing to put any effort forward. Your teen has literally become someone you barely recognize - and you realize if you don't intervene you may not get another chance. Is it your fault? Is it the school? Is it their friends? We can waste time with the blame game all day and night long, but in the end it is your teen that is making these negative choices and it is your responsibility as a parent to make the right ones. So as many parents do - they hit the keyboard and are bombarded in a new and scarey world of the big business of "teen help". Red flags -red lights -and fear can quickly run through your mind - not to mention the sticker shock of many of these programs and schools. Take the time to breath and learn about exactly what ...

I hear this question a lot.  Of course the answer is only opinion based - and may depend on your child and your needs. Not sure whether to hire an EC?  Here is some food for thought: Educational Consultants (EC) were originally designed to help parents with their teens to find the right colleges and with the application process.  With the growth and expansion of technology, the need for their assistance has become nearly extinct.  Parents and students have found they can find quick results on CollegeBoard.org for about every school and every question they have. As the shift in teen help increased, they seemed to branch out into the residential treatment field. Most have not experienced what you are going through.  Most do not know what you are dealing with at home.  Only an experienced parent that has been there really knows that feeling of helplessness.   In the teen help industry a term that has been coined is the EC Shuffl...

WWASPS students were disciplined in this HOBBIT room in their U.S. program. The New York Times cover story today had the headline above! Over a decade later and these programs are still in operation.  Sure, some name changes - and shift around some people, but it is still the same from what I am reading. It's not a secret, my family was a victim of the teen help industry. We struggled with a teenager that was a good teen making some bad choices - we needed help.  But did that mean we needed to be duped?  Why do people prey on the weak?  I am not concerned about that right now. Fact is, yes, some teens and families need help and we believe in that - as does my daughter. Our story has been well documented both online and published by Health Communications, Inc (HCI).  What many can't comprehend is how the people and programs that harmed our family and my daughter - as well has hundreds (if not thousands of others) is still in operation? I...

It may start with pot, but where will it end? With the recent tragedy of Corey Monteith it leaves the door open for conversation. You may have a teen that is smoking pot.  I speak to many parents that believe that "it is only marijuana."  Maybe that is true, but have they considered what happens when their highly intelligent (because they also share with me how smart their teenager is) teen decides to maybe try some pills or alcohol with it? What is addiction? Addiction has long been understood to mean an uncontrollable habit of using alcohol or other drugs. Because of the physical effects of these substances on the body, and particularly the brain, people have often thought that “real” addictions only happen when people regularly use these substances in large amounts. Addiction – there is a psychological/physical component; the person is unable to control the aspects of the addiction without help because of the mental or physical conditions involved. – ...

Let's face it, our teens are very smart or they wouldn't be keen enough to manipulate parents into believing they are as innocent as they aren't! On a weekly basis I receive calls from parents about their highly intelligent teens that are smoking pot, using drugs, drinking and other risky behavior.  These kids can also be extremely good athlete's that have recently lost interest in their sport too.  What is going on?  Is it peer pressure, low self-esteem or something else?  Are they being bullied in school, did something happen that we don't know about?  Either way it is time to get your teenager help before it escalate into addiction or worse. Your intelligence at 16 is a strong indicator of how much and how often you will drink throughout adulthood. Over the last 55 years, in the U.S. and U.K., several studies have been conducted that show a direct relationship between childhood intelligence and adult alcohol consumption. Controlling for a huge plethor...

   Is your teen withdrawing from the family? Summer is here and some parents will be considering summer camps while others are in the midst of hoping their teenager passed the school year, or had enough credits to graduate. If you are the parent of a teen who is struggling with school and acting out, it can drive you to your wit's end.   Maybe your once fun-loving teenager who is good looking, intelligent, and has lots of good friends is now talking back to you, staying out late or sneaking out, defiant, and possibly sexually active? On the flip side, your once sweet child might be a teenage misfit who is acting out because of bullying, or is experimenting with sex, drugs, and/or alcohol in a desperate attempt to find acceptance. What happens when you have a teenager that decides they don't want to finish high school when they are more than capable? Perhaps they were consistently getting excellent grades and now they are just getting by or failing...